for you.

The highest, most pure & loving vibrations await you! Such a gift we are given to be in the awareness of unconditional love, to allow the flow of star filled light force to pour into our bodies and heal us of any and all imbalances.

“Holy Spirit Fire, enter my heart this day, heal my mind, my heart, my body – that i may resonate at pure Light, pure Love. ”

Energy medicine, vibrational healing, transformation! There is truly nothing that meets this depth of healing. Give your self the gift of going to a healer, feel the experience of multiple hands, energy pouring through your body, warmth, tingling-ness, a depth into the void beyond what you could possibly imagine. Integrating multiple levels of knowing, of realities. Let touch heal you of pain, illness, disease, anxiety, stress. Allow the star light to touch your thoughts and shift you up to levels of love not yet known.

“Holy Spirit Fire, guide me this day in all i do, think and be; that I may be in gratitude, humbleness and divine balance – enfolded in your wings.”

Sitting with beings who have reached pure levels of thoughts will undo all the damage we do to our hearts. Many souls have experienced healings long distance, or by watching unbound teachers over the internet. Vibration-al healing is for all. I send you unbound Light & Love.

May the truth and love of the Christ be yours this day. May peace engulf your mind and this Presence radiate to all you see, speak with and see. I love you.

a passionate calling

Passion is a very strong feeling about a person or thing. Passion is an intense emotion, a compelling enthusiasm or desire for something. Wikipedia

I have come to a conclusion that having a passion can be  exhausting; as tiring as it is exhilarating. Feeling a passionate calling for anything can fill you as easily as empty you. It is a vehicle for extremes. It will raise you up beyond joy and turn you inside out with despair when it is not being fulfilled. Being called is a dedication in service to a belief – even when others disagree. When we are called we experience a pin pointed-ness of the mind, a devotion beyond all else, a path woven within our DNA prior to birth, giving us life long direction and purpose. A passion is a calling of the heart, a knowing beyond everything else in our faith in a particular person, experience, belief. Passionate – to be filled with such exuberance about a particular something, that our cells sparkle with Light and our joy is beyond comparison when we are in the midst of it. Living a life directed by ones passion is not easy. One is willing to let go of much, in order to fulfill their passion, in order to experience, to give it, to share it.. One is willing to say no to what looks like a necessity to others, if it means no to their calling. Ones passion takes the first; the first thought in the morning, the last thought at night. It is the first desire, the only experience they long to have. In passion there is no doubt, none. Passion; beyond anything & everything else.

I am passionate about spiritual healing. I say spiritual healing work, for me,  my work is nothing without my faith in God, a power greater than i. I know many practitioners who believe in the science of healing work; perhaps polarity, Reiki, massage, and other; but it is void of an active faith in a power greater than i. Since the late 80’s, when i became a hospice volunteer and worked in a nursing home, i saw the power of Love. I have witnessed the simple act of laying of hands; heal. I believe that is God, Love, the power greater than i. I believe we are void without it, non existent. I believe Jesus healed and I believe we can too. This, is my passionate calling. It has been since May, 1992. Yes, 25 years ago this month i opened an art gallery which quickly turned into my first healing center. The first six months i sold no art, but people came from near and far to chat, share, cry, receive help, support and yes; hands on healing. Strangers would come off the street and ask the most interesting questions, my hospice clients would have their spouses drive them to the gallery so they could hang out with me – with oxygen tanks and all. It truly was a most amazing time in my life. Then, as my clientele grew, the gallery business shrunk; and the rest is history.

My devotion to my ministry has taken many paths – all aligned with my passion. From hospital operating rooms, to church sanctuaries to my continual private counseling & healing practice and even this blog, and my daily FB posts, my emails to you, my check ins, my phone calls, my classes. There is nothing more beautiful than feeling the energy of Holy Spirit move through ones dense physical body and releasing anything that no longer is yours! To feel the vibrations of pure life force move down ones arms, up ones spine, through muscle and mass – and feel so incredible there are no words, is quite an experience. To know one left their body upon another persons touch and without being able to define it; feel Lighter, happier and healthier. To witness tumors healed, gone, no longer existing – to see people run; after one session where they had not been able to run in months due to pain in their backs – to see a ankle swollen/sprained one night and being able to freely without pain walk on it the next morning – to witness anger diffused – to see joy where there had been none – to witness a lung which grew back – to see one be pregnant when told they could not conceive – to witness fingers move, heal and work after doctors said they would not – to have one not need a pain block for minor surgery – to see ones energy shift right before my eyes; all gifts of a passionate devotion.

Spiritual energy work will heal & cure anything. Spiritual energy work brings your essence into its Divine perfect balance & harmony. I absolutely believe & know this. I know God heals. Twenty five years this month. There have been ups and downs, quiet times & prosperous times, which i still stubbornly do not understand. I have absolutely no understanding of why anyone would not want to experience such a deep, beautiful, healing experience; perhaps you will simply feel more relaxed – or perhaps it will be to heal and or cure a physical symptom; whatever it is, i am here to support your Divine Perfection to shine forth as your body & mind. Within each cell of your being is Divine Light ready and waiting to shine forth in its fullness and magnificence.

I love you beyond words. Thank you for being part of this ministry, for inviting me into your lives to experience (my) passionate devotion. May we all benefit from love.

In deep gratitude, Deborah

being mindful. being present. being awake.

We read and hear these words repeatedly in our culture. Often referred to the practice of meditation, of practicing quiet, of not being drawn up in another persons drama, of holding healthy boundaries; but what does it actually do for or to or through the individual  who reaches mindfulness? Or a state of being awake? Or one who is a daily meditator? How does being mindful, present and or awake shift our daily life style, other than less anxious? more relaxed? less stressed? What do we place into the action of our lives from reaching a state of mindfulness?

My understanding, my perception is this; we make better choices.

I am not only referring to the large ‘life affecting all choices’; I am referring to the “smaller”, what appear-less than choices that will one day influence the larger choices. The appear small choices in a casual conversation, which carry a big stick. The ability to choose what is truly necessary to share with another; is it mine or theirs? As our conscious awareness expands, we learn that what is yours you can keep. And I will do the very, very best with what is mine that I am able.

When we are not caught up  in the drama of humanness, we have the ultimate knowledge that every single choice counts. We grow aware that each choice we make, effects the whole of our being, is woven into the fabric of who we are becoming, and who we will be tomorrow, and more importantly; who we are to be in that very moment of our lives. We grow awake enough to see that each word and tone that comes from our mouths affects the whole. (even on Facebook) We spiritually mature to the level of beingness that we realize that every single action, word, thought i say, do or have; has a vibrational effect on me, others, this world i am a speck of. (One powerful speck!) We learn and grow to see that each word and thought I say has the potential to infiltrate you, to become part of YOUR heart. How do I want to treat your heart? As we become more mindful we clearly see; as I treat my own heart, I treat yours. Do unto others as you want them to do unto you has never been more palpable.

I often have my clients sit with the question, ‘how do you want to show up here’ ? Here meaning their day, or relationship, or any experience. I find it to be a  deeply transformational quest. Life changing. Do you wish to be more mindful, then ask yourself each day when you wake up: ‘how do i want to show up today’.

Each of us has had the experience of knowing someone for a long time, and then one day they say ONE thing, just ONE comment; and we can shut down. We can say that’s it, I do not want them in my life. WE can walk away – from ONE comment. Think about this.

Being one who others confess to and confide in, my heart is often hit with what is most unfathomable to me. Some days simply stun you.

Practicing kindness is truly a deeply spiritual practice of the heart. To become awake to the truth that YOU matter, EVERY word and action matters, that each idea, statement, experience causes a like vibration to go out into the world and cause more like energy to expand, grow and increase – well, God has given us each choice, let us implement this gift with as much love and wisdom as possible.  Please.

do i love myself?

(This is a piece i wrote a few years ago. I thought it was worth a repeat.)

There is a question which has come across FaceBook in the past few weeks – about listing the things in your life you love – and then the hook is; how long would it take you to list yourself? Brutal, right? No? Then perhaps you haven’t thought about it – at least it was for me. In fact, so much so, I am awake at 1:00 am right now, days……. perhaps weeks after first reading it, still thinking about it. Brutal.

Do we really love ourselves? Do you love yourself deeply, honorably, with integrity, compassion, kindness and respect? Do you observe how others treat themselves, what they find acceptable behavior by others TO themselves in their own lives? Do you notice how others allow themselves to be bullied, talked into and many times forced? Do you see how easily others say yes to anything – when they simply want to say no? Do you see how by choice, people feed themselves absolute crap? Do you see how people do not allow themselves to say yes to fun, to leisure, to time off – and instead work like a slave, find MORE to do, insist on doing someone else’s workload? Have you ever truly, with the eyes and heart of an observer, watched how another person allows themselves to be treated? Go ahead. What do you see?

I have believed that for many years, I have lived my life treating others as I treat myself – with love, kindness and compassion. BUT, this formidable FaceBook (oxymoron?) inquiry has got me going for sure, and I wonder if I am as kind to myself, as loving to myself; as I am to others. I seriously doubt it.

Like many soul friends on a spiritual path of awakening and heart centered awareness, I have strived to be kind to all around me. I have taken my Buddhist vows, read all the books, practiced all the meditations, paused before speaking, gone to workshops, presented at workshops, volunteered my time, been in service, been a daily meditator, been mostly vegan, a pure essence oil dowsing, flower essence taking, non-main stream preferred healing centered person who has written about self-care, thought about self-care, done self-care, expressed the importance of self-care, helped my little girl feel safe, been in therapy, done years of work as a counselor, teacher and guide, ministered to the dying; yup, been a good woman, no doubt about it, I can give myself that one – but do I love myself, this is the question.

Perhaps loving oneself is not the other side of a coin, not simply the flip side of I treat others as I treat myself – but is a two sided facet itself? Stay with me here – we all seek balance in our lives, yet within each one of those balance seeking experiences lies more lopsided facets which require even more balance. Cosmos within a cosmos, right?  What if loving me not only means self-care, but self-asking? Not inquiry – that is leisurely and can be open ended; but direct asking. And the balance of that; direct answering.  Brutal, right?

Since I have read the ‘formidable’ question of how long it would take for me to list myself as one of the things in my life I love; I have been observing – a lot. To be honest, I have had to observe, because I quickly, instantly, immediately realized; I never would have made my list. Really. If I had casually answered that question out loud, as I did silently in my own mind; the list of things I love in this life are truly extensive! – But, me, myself and I would not have made the list. Gotta be honest here – nope, not on it, not even close. Even thinking about speaking, writing or considering putting me on my own list makes my skin crawl. Yikes, got some work to do.

What does it look like? Do I know anyone who lives as if they love themselves? And if I do, is my first reaction that they are selfish? Good question.

Do not misunderstand me, I have a good life – I treat my life well, my family & friends with love – but I also know I do not receive well, or gracefully, or at all. A dear sister friend pointed out to me recently, I am really, really good at giving compliments to others, but taking one is agony. Yup, this is true. (No, the truth is TWO friends have pointed that out to me recently, without any premeditated conversation I might add; just out of the great blue ethers. Damn. )

I love my friends, but do I love myself? I love Jesus, but do I love myself? I love my clients, but do I love myself? I love my child, but do I love myself? I love God, but do I love myself? I love my husband, work, my purpose, my congregations, my home, my yard, my art, my gardens……………but, do I really, truly, palpably, with tenderness, kindness and deep caring; love myself?

Loving oneself has nothing to do with ego, but has to do with the quest of treating yourself with the same simple kindness and caring you treat others. If you are a giving person, do you give to yourself? If you are thoughtful to others, are you to yourself? If you listen well to others, do you listen to your own needs? If you encourage others to take time off and enjoy life, do you take time off and enjoy life? If you tell others to wonder what they want first, and then go with that – do you do the same for yourself? If you are one of those helpful, always there for other people type persons; are you also there for yourself?

I realize the common story is women do not know how to do this – for too long we have been taught to push ourselves aside in favor of taking care of others –and the generational martyrdom has built layers upon layers of sacrifice – but I am trying to present this questioning with a deeper sense of loving oneself, men and women, with the same compassion and respect we may love anything else, and anyone else – with self-listening skills from the heart, with enthusiasm, support and joy……………with enough awareness to easily place oneself on the list of things they love in life. Not on the list because it is a belief that we are God in form, that we are each child of the most high Creator of the universe – BUT because we really like ourselves? Care for ourselves? Think of ourselves with love. Treat ourselves lovingly.

Last weekend I, my husband and another couple went for a short hike. As I was moving forward, in an upward direction, (with the incorrect shoes on I might add)……i fell backwards. I landed on my backside, flat against the rocky hill, head heading south, feet north – yet all my bruising is on my left side; my left knee, my left buttocks, my left; the side of receiving, of the Divine Feminine.

What would I say to another who came to me with this story?

Wow, that is great! Your body’s wisdom is showing you and supporting you to open to receiving more – getting jostled up a bit, not getting really hurt, you continued the hike, right? You enjoyed the rest of the day? It was this little hiccup; perfect, just enough to force you to receive.

What do you mean?

Well, didn’t you say you had to ask for help? Or you chose to ask for help? You had the other three folks each help turn you around? You said your head was heading south, your feet facing up the hill and you asked for them to turn you around before you moved on your own?

Yes.

You received help.

So, are you equating loving myself with receiving help?

Well, how do you express love to others?

~

So, if you were to make a list of all the things you love about your life, would you be on your list?

a sacred contemplation

Greetings:  I am just waking up from a week of quiet, meditative, retreat like and internal time. I am so very grateful that i know the gifts of taking this time, of disconnecting in order to connect.

In one of my meditations a most beautiful awareness came to me i wish to share with you. i ask your forgiveness first, for i do not see how i will have the language to explain, but i will try. (language is one of those human requirements which does not exist in the vibration of this new humanity we have entered (finally!!!); so walking the line of awake in form is more and more unique, quiet and tricky like coyote magic each day.)

i was shown how we are the cross. now, stay with me, i am well aware of the startling bigness of this statement.

i have always seen the cross and the crucifixion as represented in our daily living in the moments we must make decisions, implement choice, to turn towards God or stay focused on whatever distraction has our sleepy attention. we do this all day long, sometimes simply by food choice, or to be happy or mad, or anything in the catalogue of human emotions – and then we are given more critical moments to choose…will we hang here in this limbo  or choose for ourselves? will we stay here and feel our soul whimper in the midst of believing this lie, or will we step it up and say NO. will we turn to our faith in the Divine and forgive? the list is as endless as the human path to waking up to love is.

i saw that we are the cross, here in this reality. we each, every single one of us, holds the gift to welcome awareness, love or not. we die daily as our humanness and attachment to emotions is exponentially dissolved/healed, as we choose God. we know, we are nothing without God, literally and figuratively. God gave us life, we are each a child of the cosmic parent – but we are empty inside, fruitless without consciously choosing to see life as God, as Jesus has taught us. (here lies the tricky part, for everyone’s belief around this man, Jesus, varies!)

i was shown an actual cross, which laid upon our bodies. you can feel it, right? to know? we are there, in restraint, until, we choose to know our Oneness with unconditional love, with this new humanity where the majority of the human vibrations no longer thrive. as we are there, behind us is empty, filled with vacancy we once thought was Truth, in front of us is all magnificence we could ever imagine.  we choose from the emptiness or the fruitful.

it was a most powerful experience, sobbing tears of awareness and joy were felt. perhaps if you contemplate this, you may have a positive experience also, for writing it does not do it justice.

with gratitude.

great love to you, Deborah

 

 

e-mergence (- is a phenomenon whereby larger entities arise through interactions among smaller or simpler entities such that the larger entities exhibit properties the smaller/simpler entities do not exhibit.)

Namaste;

merging. this is the theme, this is what we have been working up to. this is what we have been experiencing, energetically, at our cellular level. the effects of the merging are what we have been feeling mentally, emotionally and physically. this has taken many to feel anguish, displaying illnesses which have no medical explanation, loss of old ways of being, appearing so deeply changed families are distraught with fear, as well as, many loving, light filled beings have chosen to go home through suicide – for the staying here was simply too painful, too harsh, too exhausting. many souls have gone into caves of there own creating in order to walk through this metamorphosis; not unlike a butterfly coming from their own (self created) cocoon.

it requires an inexhaustible amount of faith in God, in good, to stay through this profound time in our existence. i truly can see, and i believe, everyone is doing the best they believe they can.

some may see this journey, as the Christ has been emerging through individuals to offer love as the collective energy.

you can describe this transformation in many different ways, in words which align with your present vibration: merging head with heart, merging higher self with lower, merging the Light with the lack, divine feminine & divine masculine, merging intellect with knowing or educated mind with intuition. no matter the description which is aligned with your own being-ness in order to gain an understanding, the outcome is the same; no more separation, duality be gone; Oneness.

presently we are in the strongest, most viable space of being vibration-ally aware that we have ever been. we are seeking full union with one another. we are requiring full disclosures and equanimity due to knowing we are equal, we are each a spark of creation. we are ‘fighting’ to live the truth; what is good for you is good for me, what harms you, harms me. we are now in a space of absolute unconditional love. being in this space means, the overlay of the universe supports this – that as we evolved, so did the cosmic overlay of the planet; it is a joint venture, one cannot do it without the other. symbiotic.

symbiotic is a necessary tool, in our individual expansion as well as the planet. communities, individuals, families, countries, civilizations; there is eternally these symbiotic relationships between expressions of light & dark. one does not become fearless and fabulous, strong and courageous, at home with self and peaceful; without being pushed, made uncomfortable, squeezed. one is not birthed without going thru a very tight and dis-pleasurable tunnel!

in our visions of Oneness, each experience is as highly appreciated as the other. each relationship is deeply appreciated for being part of the fabric of our existence. each moment is consciously appreciated. we now are able to see from, through & as our heart centers……and we have to, for nothing else feels good.

i love you – may your day be filled with peace, awareness & kindness,

deborah

 

chaos & clarity

In the midst of chaos lies our deepest and most authentic desire for clarity. We are here.

Since 1992 i have consciously let, asked and allowed my heart to direct me on this open, bumpy, curvy, transforming, blissful and agonizing path of self realization. Out of pain, fear and lack; i dedicated my heart to knowing God. It would be interesting to place every book, every teacher, retreat, church, workshop, i have turned to, each experience which helped to wake me up; all in one room, in order to be observed, witnessed and seen as a whole. I think the room would be busting at its seams! Like visiting the museum of Deborah’s soul. Kinda of fun. Yes, it may appear like a fun house of the heart; like many, many others, like yours; just varied paths and experiences; all getting us to FEEL and know. The one same thing that all those moments of awakening had in common, was a preliminary  encounter of chaos.  Physical, emotional or spiritual; but chaos, the interior awareness that this does not feel good.

Right now, in this time and space of our evolution as a whole, yet deeply and daily being undeniably reflected through my clients stories – we are most certainly at a (w)holy precipice.

There are too many places to run for support. Since December 2012, many have been aware of this ride, this journey some call of ‘ascension’.  Others have been entangled in the Mayan philosophies, or what our astrology and the stars and star guides can tell us. Others turn to popular speakers, teachers, Gurus to help them make sense of these moments which feel truly unreal, unearthly; palpable, yet have no language. I am offering you one more perception.

In my early years of connection with a UNITY Church, a simple & POWERFUL teaching was offered which i have never forgotten and turn to often. TO-BY-THROUGH-AS.

TO: Life, things, stuff is done TO me. Victim-hood. I can do nothing. I am a baby, I am helpless, no one hears me. (chaos, chaos, chaos)

BY: Life, things, experiences are done BY me. i am responsible. The ego is living large at this point, taking ALL the credit with no awareness of CREATOR. (chaos, chaos)

THROUGH: As we begin to wake up and curiosity of our Oneness with Source is enlivened, we first believe God moves through us, it is done through us, if i am this way or that way, then manifestations are seen. Yet, we are still being in a belief of separation. (chaos) In this season of awareness, we DO have the realization, we do not do this alone, yet the me has not crossed the bridge to full surrender.

AS: God as me. Me as God. God in form. Total, complete and whole Oneness.

Right now, i feel this teaching, this offering is the path we each walk; individually and collectively. I feel the seams of my being-ness popping with excitement, how this paradigm is reflected in all of life! THIS, is that walk, that long and arduous walk from the head to the heart.

We can take our human growth from birth to adulthood and lay this spiritual architectural paradigm upon it. TO – conception till 5/6 years.  BY – 5/6 till  13/15.  THROUGH – 13/15 till  40’sh. AS – 40’s onward. Now, this is the ordained perfected pathway of opportunity. Most of us get stuck along the way.  This is why we find ourselves willing to DO our individual work post 40, the calling and energy is perfected for us to receive this awakening of Oneness, of no separation. Think of all the chaos we can be presented in our 40’s; marriage, divorce, children, parents dying, job loss…etc. Earth bound life experiences. Holy Chaos.

We can look upon our societal evolution, our faith based growth and see how this path is true to each facet of lives. In the beginning, man had many Gods, one for all things, and man was a victim to their yea or nays. (TO) Then, the idea that man may have more power, more voice and the idea that the Gods would  work with us or were part of our society was introduced. The ego was very loud here, man is a God. (BY) We settled into THROUGH for a long time. Prayer became the go to  for anyone wanting God to work through their lives to manifest good, ease and grace. Churches on each corner. Sunday at its best. Visits to mediums, psychics, and others who could tell us what was happening. Through holds the energy of outside of ourselves first, and through us second.

At each of these seasons of evolution, the cosmic-ness of life energized our planet with just the perfect energies, as is our human growth energized, giving us opportunities to experience these for the exact purpose of growth, conscious development, and waking up. Chaos has always played a necessary role for those higher vibrations we want to reach, to be desired,  seen and touched.

And right now; AS. Personally, my awareness of ‘as God’ – God and i are ONE, has been a great internal challenge.  Just last fall (2016) i was critically aware of my heart yearning for no more separation, (also at this same time seeing the United States and world carrying same energies, realizing this is where we are universally) yet those i heard who stated they knew of ‘God as me’, i saw as being egoistic. ..and for me, that is where i jump ship – i cannot tolerate anyone or anything of ego. The epitome of not realizing God. My stomach churns, my heart weeps, my empathic radar is on high alert for lack of one truly and humbly being awake to Divinity.  But, yet and even more…this is my chaos and it forces me to be in silence with my knowing that i am LITERALLY no-thing without this Divine Cosmic Isness we called God. I do not exist. And I do not exist until i realize this; then i exist fully, unencumbered and in flowing grace of the I AM.

How beautiful is this life? How perfect is this dance we do? How magnificent a set up the Divine Architect created for each of his/her children to dance along this earth plane, weaving in and out, playing a game of sacred hide and seek with Love…….and then,  and now, the Cosmic Energies, ALL OF IT; from the waves of solar flames, to political disgust, to many in pain walking an ascension path to their own hearts….and EACH of us being given the perfect moments to acknowledge the Creator, the power & presence greater than i! Oh, my. Tears of joy.

The chaos right now is the Divine, as it always is saying, wake up!!!! Right now, the support we have, to go within ourselves, to seek self inquiry, to know the Divinity which we are is at the highest point of our evolution; it is the time for Divine involution. To seek our Presence which is reside at our depths and is eternal – to define what this means to us, to know the power of this presence and to say yes to IT with all of ourselves, knowing and believing and living that this Power is greater than any lack.

And this, is why myself and many others are here, to support as many souls as we are able in this journey of going from the head to the heart, from chaos to grace, from fear to love, from ego to on our knees humbleness – to know, you’ve always had the power.

Lightness aside, this is such a powerful teaching – and offers everything to say about it, to see it in everything.

Great love to you. Namaste,    Deborah

right here, right now

Within our physical bodies is all that we require. We arrive here in wholeness – yet the gifts continually unwrap as we grow along.

“All you need is already within you, only you must approach yourself with reverence and love. Self-condemnation and self-distrust are grievous errors. Your constant flight from pain and search for pleasure is a sign of love you bear for yourself, all I plead with you is this: make love of yourself perfect. Deny yourself nothing — glue yourself infinity and eternity and discover that you do not need them; you are beyond.” Nisargadatta Maharaj

We can see and feel this wholeness right now – not after we read one more book, or attain more certifications, or studies, labels, degrees or mind knowledge – but right now. This magnificent Isness called Life, this power and presence of existence many call God, this cosmic sea we each are a drop of, were created from, in the likeness of…..growing along is nothing more than becoming aware of – do not wait one more moment. Now.

Love your self free of any false claims. You are not your mind; you are precious and magnificent consciousness, residing in this vehicle of a body, experiencing life. Consciousness…….love. Love which is aligned with and carries the energies of wisdom, intelligence, zeal, joy, discernment, imagination, faith. There is a holy order to this universe, to all of it.Love is that which all good emanates from.

Many of us have witnessed the harm not feeling loved does. It truly is the only wound we witness. When one does not know they are loved, they will act out in any of hundreds of unawake manners – crying out to feel love. Abuse of all kinds, harming another or self, judging, ridiculing, yelling, shutting down, addictions, running away from life in any way shape or form in order to live the lie; i am not loved.

Precious love. Magnificent, powerful love in the most unconditional form; God. You were loved before you were born and you will be love after you leave your physical body. Look into eyes, feel the interior life of a being, love upon yourself, sit and feel the presence and power which is your true eternal self – now – and that feeling, that knowledge, that awareness of love exponentially radiates to all around you; in kindness, integrity, caring, compassion and  the understanding that; we are consciousness in this form, revealing love on earth.

with great love, deborah

Fear Blindness

Truly, fear shuts out opportunity. Our perception is fixed on seeing the world or an experience one way, a situation one way, a specific something – and all else in Gods Kingdom is outside that boundary; we miss so much. In fear we are blind to Gods abundance, love & Grace.

When we allow our minds to lead us, when we think we KNOW….how can anything else enter? We are only holding one door open, one window, a one way street – when there are thousands of other ways – but we will miss them. We are taught to think, to learn, to gain knowledge…in this society, to figure things out, to set up what we want and hold our intentions to that – is that not egoistic? Are we setting ourselves up to miss what God may have for us?

What does it take to walk openly and be with God, to see from our hearts, not our minds?

It takes practice. This is why we meditate, sit in silence, develop our personal relationship with the Supreme Beingness and Isness called Life. We are building our faith through a personal awareness of Spirit, the Consciousness which I AM. We learn to trust.

One of my favorite guideposts to offer folks who are seeking to let go of control in their lives is to clear their day, get in their car and drive. No set tasks, none at all, to no where. Go on roads you have never been. Do not ask a friend, do not meet anyone, stop to eat at a new place, get out and walk. Sit by a river – a place which is new, not familiar. No PLANS, just get in your car and drive. No GPS. No specific time you have to be home, make plans for family members; YOU – go.

To see life from ones heart, in Trust with that which is greater than i – all which you already are is revealed.

It gets more and more difficult for it to be acceptable to be present. Technology allows people to be acceptably (if not rudely) distracted.

You need to do nothing else but be in silence for a bit each day, commune with self and Self; and stay. No distraction area! All one needs one already has, one needs to simply step into it, shutting the door on the distractions; and be. Life will change from THAT space.

I promise.

with great Love, Deborah

In the Silence

Years ago i officiated a wedding in the midst of what was once a convent. The outdoor chapel, surrounded by stones placed just so and willowed arches allowed the birds voices front and center, even above the vows. Along with interior great halls of this hundred year old building, celebrated in fine mahogany woods, deep and wide walk into fireplaces and glorious still shining floors that told stories; I was deeply and divinely fed.  As the post ceremony celebration began, my heart sang as i alone stood against the winding stone wall surrounding the massive out door flagstone patio – overlooking a duck pond, sloping terrain and trees as old as my soul; hence, New England at its very best. I was imagining how i must have once lived here, in one of my previous lives as a nun, being in service, opening hearts and wounds to Gods love, sustaining the energies of grace for the community – along with 50 or so of my fellow devotees. We would have lived in silence, scrubbing the hand laid floors, preparing meals from the gardens, praying, being, singing, guiding. I was gloriously in joy of my private dreams ……..as the six foot four inch towering father of the bride appeared beside me, in his boisterous and very Irish voice; “My God, this quiet would drive me nuts, i can’t stand it…….what about you?”

Dennis Patrick Slattery, in Grace in the Desert,  touches on and then dives with humble abandonment  with all senses; into ones quest for freedom from imprisonment of our wounds. He shares his own quest, seeking silence to stop the gerbil wheel of a too busy and constantly moving lifestyle. What truly happened was his relationship with his own wounds were discovered, revealed, unearthed…..in the midst of the silence of the woods and monasteries.

He eloquently shares page after page of his heart journey. In one monastery library, where silence was prevailing, a man entered who held a transistor radio to his ear the entire time. Even in the midst of free will to enter the quiet, one  will protect ones heart with outer noise.

I have a pet peeve. Folks who say they are on retreat, but posts selfies, text and use phones and other social media gadgets to commune with the outside world.  These gadgets should not be with you; period. Leave phones in the car or back pack; available for required emergency use if you are stranded, but not to call home and create exterior connections.(Good, i have said it, i feel better!)

Until we have met our own wounds, silence is not our friend. And yet, we must be in the silence to hear them clearly, to meet them, to forgive, to love them free, to let go of the hold we allow them to grip us with. It is in the silence where we meet ourselves, our hearts, our stories, our self. It is also in the silence where we meet God, the Supreme Beingness.

I highly recommend Grace in the Desert. https://www.amazon.com/Grace-Desert-Awakening-Gifts-Monastic/dp/0787971049  Incredibly profound, written as a mystic, especially good for men, written as a memoir, awesome for those brought up in an alcoholic homes, beneficial for any devout seeker. Each sentence a quote, each page illuminating.

shared with great love,

Deborah Evans Hogan