Let the Vacancies Be Filled!

I remember a time when I did not have faith in a Power Greater than I. I remember a time when the idea of depending on something that I could not see was neither a blimp on the screen nor a heard of option. I remember a time when I worked very, very hard to force something to happen and for an instant I was proud of myself; only to see it fail. I remember a time when the words God, Holy Spirit, Creator, Jesus, Divine Intelligence, Universal Presence; were not part of my vocabulary. Now, my life is very, very different, for it is all I know, all I rely on, all I trust, all that fills what was once a vacancy in my mind and heart.

As I typed the above paragraph I repeatedly heard the word ‘swimmingly’. Such a lovely, flowing, free, graceful vision, this term – to feel the freedom of going with the waters, rather than fighting upstream in going against.

The energetic shifts we are in have caused me to make many moves in our home. Moving of rooms, furniture, placement, new items, etc. Always, as I shift, my surroundings do. Doesn’t that make logical sense? For me, this particular shift began early 2020, with direct guidance to buy new bedding, shift colors, change knobs on bureaus. In August as my personal ascension growth took momentum, it was to change my office, (which I am now naming Deborah’s Universe), create an office for my husband, (which took his desk, his work files and guitars out of our spacious living room and into a private room) which caused the major shifting of a total of five rooms. Even though it was physically a workout, it happened swimmingly. And I do believe, for now, as of this morning, when I shifted my new healing space for the FOURTH time in as many weeks in ways I never saw were possible for in the past six years – I am complete. Or I will be by tomorrow when I have all my art supplies, paints, easel out of closets and storgae in place!

Understand, we moved to this house 6 and a half years ago and I had not yet, till now, seen how I could possibly make space for ALL my passions. We moved from a 5200 sq. foot home to 1800 sq. ft. I love caring for our home, I love being a minister, I love working with clients, I love painting, I love writing and my book is in the birth canal. Well, we know we are each a work in process. Each step we take, brings the puzzle of who we are together more and more, each decision unlocks another block, opens a new pathway in order for us to see with greater clarity. Every step we take is important. None more vital than than another.

Seeing space (OR ANYTHING!) created when one does not think there is even the possibility of is only done through faith. I always believe there is a solution. I may not be able to see it, but when I give it to God, God always comes through for me. Spirit always fills my vacancy. This past weekend I was guided to complete my new office/meditation/client/healing space to also fit my art (those who know this room are gapping their mouth’s open right now thinking how the heck??) – and I was, I AM amazed at the vison I was given! But, also, another moving around of furniture was not on my joy list, as these new energies are walloping many, including myself, so I asked to wait. I needed rest. This morning was it! When we do not force, and allow for alignment, all goes, swimmingly!

In my upcoming book I speak often of vacancy as being a calling for God. An opening, that only can be filled through ones willingness to surrender to the Power Greater than I. IT WORKS!!!

with great love,

Rev. Deb

www.deborahevanshogan.org

Expiration Date

If you have ever attended one of my groups, there is a good chance you know what this blog is about, if not, SURPRISE!

I am going to talk about death, or rather, the truth that it does not exist. Yes, our bodies do die, they have an expiration date – but, the True Identity of who we are does not. We live on, exist on in another realm. Due to my lifelong experiences of helping others to transition, soul to soul communicating and mediumship, this is my belief. I also do not use the term death, I call it transitioning. The True Identity leaves the body.

Flowers die, go to rest, at the end of summer, they come back the following year…..no, not annuals – but think of yourself like a perennial.

This is SO important to grasp my friends. If not, one lives in fear – fear of this or that – fear of dying – fear of trying new things – fear of eating the right food…..the list is as long as there are people. If you live like this, chances are you are not living either…or rather you live each day in some fear that something, anything, a person, a flu, something is going to kill you, yes, take your life. You are living in grief for those who have ‘died’ before you. Or, as many say, who “LEFT me”. You cry each time you think of them, rather than celebrate them. AND more importantly, rather than feel them around you, possibly see them, commune with them – many wallow in their absence.

Yes, this is a HUGE subject. AND you have my promise, that when one stops fearing death and believing in eternal life, the fear and sadness that is lifted cannot be described!

In my not yet published book I have one chapter titled; “Let Me Know You’ve Landed.” In this chapter I share stories of how Beloveds have let me know they have fully crossed between the veils and are ‘home’. My hope is in sharing these stories, others may soften to believe differently, and experience more ease, love and grace in their lives. Here is just one short story:

  “After several months of weekly visits to Nina’s home, it was time for her to transition. Sitting with her in hospice, planning her life celebration, I had the opportunity to ask her; please, let me know you have landed.  

       Driving to her memorial service, which I was officiating, I asked once again; please, Nina, give me that sign, let me know you are home. Within a half mile I had to stop for a gaggle of ducks, they were crossing the road coming from my right. I thought, I have driven this road hundreds of times, and have never seen ducks on it, a long way from water crossed my mind. Then, I looked up to my left, watching them clear the road and I saw it. The road sign at the intersection said; Nina Drive.  I could not count the times I had gone by this intersection and never had I ever noticed that well-worn street sign, ever.”

When we believe in death as a forever act,  it is deeply traumatic, painful and difficult because it is not true.  Anytime we believe in or act out or speak against Universal law, it does not feel good. Our bodies, each one of ours, have an expiration date. BUT, we thrive on. It really, really helps to make friends with his fact, so you can begin to live freely.

with great love, Deborah

http://www.amethystlight.org

Heart Hunger

I awoke at midnight and just had to get up. The thoughts of how we simply need to reach out to one another, for that connection we hunger for was stirring. I came into my sacred/quiet/office/space, in my groggy sleepy state, I checked my phone and had a message from a client – she is a photographer and from a group she is in, she shared with me three incredible photos she thought I would appreciate. She just knew I would love them. Let me tell you they are wow! Beyond orbs! But the take away is my heart opened because another person had thought of me and reached out. This has been a theme these past few days – the necessary heart connection we all NEED.

Then I opened FB to take a peak and the post was of my step sisters first great-grandchild had come home to visit with her clan (from Alaska to Cape Cod) so an amazing baby new soul with photos of her being adored by relatives, being welcomed, and her soaking up the love and spreading pure joy. How perfect as I awoke pondering this human connection ‘need’.

I wish we all realized how precious this human connection need is. It is a radical calling from our hearts I am labeling heart hunger. I am not speaking about love of the human form, but the caring of ‘inclusion’.

an invitation. a door held open. a smile. a hello. a sharing of food. an extension of patience. a card in the mail. a random phone call. leaving a voice message. sending a text. offer a cup of tea. simply sit with another. random assistance to a stranger. checking in on neighbors. how can we make another person feel cared for, thought of, remembered?

The other day I heard a story of a fourth grade boy who was helping his neighbor feel comfortable on the her first day of a new school, wanting to be sure she was ‘comforted and cared about’. Oh, my heart.

Caring is an underrated word. We use it too much, yet, the true vibration of it is under valued. Authentic caring. It stirs our hearts and brings tears to our eyes and tenderness to our existence.

To care is NOT about fixing anything. It is not about the ‘carer’ doing a good deed, but about the vibration of caring which is exchanged in kindness.

What can we each do to express more caring? It is the stories of caring that get us, every time. The caring of an animal, the caring for others, our love of the caregivers.

The energy of caring – the unselfish, authentic, simple acts of caring – what can we say it is ? – loving put into action? The tucking in of our broken pieces, of the rough edges, of the aches, wounds, emptiness…..I see this, let me care about you, not because I know you even, but simply because caring for another is a most natural act of our souls. Our souls know what it is to care. Not care with an agenda – not care because it is our obligation, or job, or even calling, not caring out of worry or concern – the simplest act of caring for another human no matter how slight, small or insignificant we may think, is a calling of our souls. Caring is how our soul speaks – and it is in very, very simple, small acts which in the radiance of the unselfish motivation itself, magnifies love in the purist sense possible.

How can you care today? Hearts are hungry, feed them – with authentic, unsolicited, radical giving of your soul through a simple, simple act.

with great love,

Deborah

www.amethystlight.org

The Tender Spots

Sometimes it is simply hard to know what to do with the tender spots. You know, those places that are not ours to resolve, yet by the way of being human we still are entangled in their existence? All those human places of sadness, depression, pain, the emotional warehouses of our hearts, that are not quite up to what we want them to be?

They are two different levels of sad, aren’t they? One’s personal stories that ramble through our minds and hearts, mostly upspoken because to share them seems an astronomical task, we can barely put words to them our selves. Then there are the helpless ones, the ones that are not ours personally, but as an effect of our love and caring of another human or even of the world, causes us to loose sleep, lie awake through the night with thoughts of what can we possibly do to help?

We all have them, these tender spots. Everyone. When we are in the midst of them, we can feel like this is the furthest from the truth, that no one else has ever felt this way, or no one else can possible know, or how could anyone else even want to listen to this? Something about the human ego likes to quarantine us off from the rest of the world in dire self importance during these moments, as an island of unique individualism, when the entire time, we are simply being human.

“Humaning” should be a verb. Use in a sentence, “No, I cannot come out and play today because I am humaning. And we feel, instantly, our hearts open for another, for we know, in that mono second of a vulnerability, what they mean; we get it. BEACAUSE, not one person alive has not felt a sense of some level of desperation.

Social media, like all of life, has its blessings and lack of. But, when I awake, as I did this morning, to photos of an old acquaintance whose husband died the week she became pregnant, with their son, and he is now entering college this week and the pride and love of them in the photo is radiant with joy I am tenderly reminded; we not only human, we rebound, we get through, we change, we grow, we heal, we love.

No need to human alone. Reach out to a friend, family member, mental health professional, clergy, or even a depression hotline number. Social media can only take us so far, another human can takes us further.

It is vital that we keep reminding ourselves through personal, community or world wide tender spots; that change happens. That we spend our lives “humaning”, and being here for one another is key. We don’t have to know the answer or even have suggestions of what to do or how to go about making anything better – but just being there – either in person, via social media, phone calls, letters, emails; just be present for one another in anyway that is possible. Toss out lifelines.

Due to this pandemic, many have learned the value of our selves as humans. The value of a hello, or a smile in store, or a birthday greeting via Face Book. The value of any recognition of our connection as humans, as souls, as people. It feels to me that we are desperately hungry for this. You remember spontaneity? That thing we do when we don’t have to worry or wonder or ask if something is safe? Social media has given us a place for spontaneity – not always used wisely, but just the same, a place for it.

So today, do not sit alone with your tender spot, share it somehow, find an open heart, and speak. Sharing always lightens the load.

with great love,

Deborah

www.amethystlight.org

The relapse and overdose rate has increased by 30% since March 2020. Mental health issues related to our lock down and the pandemic are especially hard for people with depression. NAMI, The National Alliance on Mental Health has a 24-hour helpline: 800-950-6264.

Do It for Love.

On August 1st I began my Sabbatical. Today is my fourth day of 37 when I will then sit and see where God guides me to be. In preparing to take this time, I shared with my Beloveds that finishing my book, taking rest, and simply being away from daily tasks felt important, and called me. For thirty years I have awaken (mostly) each day ( very early in morning or mid night time) and gone about, in any number of ways, reaching out to and for others. This included meditation & prayer time, journaling, distant healing work, praying for others, answering emails, texts, and messages, posting on multiple Facebook pages; then prepping for my day of clients. There was a time when it was church ministry that called me, hospice work, nursing home visits, all clergy duties. In between all this, I attempted and still do, to take care of a home, run errands, cook, be a wife, mother, sister, aunt, friend…..you know, be a human.

Well, as I said, its the fourth day of no routine and I feel like its been a year. At some point, perhaps one who is in a career which can be categorized as serving others, we must get real and ask; am I doing this for me? (And since we are ONE, does it matter?) It can get confusing. How can I help the world? How can I make an impact on humanity, on people? What do we want to be when we grow up?

I feel we do it all for love, or we should do it for love or at the very most, it makes a huge difference in our lives and the lives of others when we do it for love. Or perhaps it is a choice – we do our work for love and in that way it consumes us – or we do work for work/job sake – and then have hobbies to bring us joy. I have quickly realized, I do not do my work, healing, ministerial or otherwise for any other reason; but LOVE. I feel love when I work. I do not even like to call it work. Like making art, how I show up in the world brings me immense, deep joy and each day I am grateful for this. It literally feeds my soul, and in that, I am very selfish. I selfishly only want to do, every single day, what makes my heart sing. I am so grateful to interact with other souls every single day I am alive. Weather it is talking, praying, communing, simply being with – contact of the souls…soul contact. Perhaps this IS what it is – consciously or unconsciously we are crying out for soul contact and are drawn to careers that bring it to us.

Living a life for love is fulfilling. It has nothing at all to do with making money, at least for me, so far – a part of me wishes I was that person, that person who decided what to ‘be’ based on how much they would be paid. I know people who do that, it feels natural to them. I come from a family of what one may call very stable wage earners. I am the daughter of a banker – and I learned from the moment I was conceived, how to put monetary value on anything. Obviously, materialism did not stick.

My last client I saw before I began my sabbatical was concerned about security. They spoke of it in the context of staying in a job they were not totally happy with, for the sake of security. I realize, that doing things for love, IS my security. I truly expect my life is to be joy-filled. Such a concept.

My husband says I am much more of an artist than I give myself credit for. He sees my entire world as my canvas. It is true – be it our home, our yard, setting a piece of furniture just so, or painting, writing, preparing anything – he sees me creating; I see me doing everything; for love. Guru, artist, woman? Perhaps it is time for a self portrait. Now that could be very revealing.

This realization that what ever I do, I do for love is powerful. I am sixty-six years of age and on the fourth day of my first sabbatical in near 30 years I have reached this place of seeing that love is my motivator. This is not about needing love from others, this is about the feeling I get when I write, or speak or be with others – or do anything at all in my life, even clean the house – if I cannot do it with love, I do not do it at all. It is not that I will not do it, it is that I can’t. Literally.

This feels pretty big for four days. Can I go back to work now?

Of course the answer is no. I shared in my final FB post on July 31st that I wanted to know who I was way from the daily routine, from my Beloveds. So, here is to 33 more days.

with great love,

Rev. Deborah Evans Hogan

www.amethystlight.org

Empath, Intuitive, Indian Chief.

I am an empath and an H.S.P. ; highly sensitive person. These are today’s labels. I imagine they will be different in ten years. Perhaps in the 1700’s it was witch, healer in the woods or midwife. In the 1960’s maybe it was psychic, then we heard intuitive. I will throw in wise woman, Sage, Shaman, oracle, prophet and channeler. Yes indeed, each ten years or so, the collective shifts, language changes, meanings transform. All ways we communicate – ah, so many, many ways.

First off, this is all my perspective. I am not an expert on anything but myself. (Are any of us, and should we be?) If you are seeking expert advice, I offer you books by Judith Orloff, M.D.. https://drjudithorloff.com/ For me, her 365 daily for empaths is saving grace in tactile book form.

Being an empath, or whatever label you personally choose for one who see’s with feelings and energy, having no boundaries is a living hell. I have excellent boundaries. I have consciously worked on this for many years. Yet, there are times when it can be deeply challenging. Not in my work, in my work the professional edge is present and my boundaries are crystal clear. I do not carry my clients discomfort or challenges. In my personal life it can be very different.

I knew a psychic who one day ‘saw’ that her husband was having an affair. She threw all his belongings out in the driveway, waited amongst his things resting in a lounge chair, for him to come home. As he got out of his car she stood and looked at him and said; “Really? You thought I wouldn’t know?”

Yup, that is how it all is sometimes. Friends who do not share secrets that involve you, relatives who ‘hide’ having surgeries, who are separated, are getting a divorce……people you care about not sharing. These are people you have soul connections with, a substantial relationship, not every single person. This not sharing is not about me, I understand that. I do not take it personally. (Well, maybe a little bit cuz I think I can help them and wouldn’t it be nice for them to confess it??) Our relationship does not prevent me from ‘seeing’ it, because we do care and love one another there is an energetic opening, a tunnel if you will, connecting us. No, I do not look on purpose. In fact, looking is not the accurate way to define it. A feeling just drops into my mind, my head, I hear, or I have a knowing – I may text someone and they do not reply and I sit with it and ‘know’, ‘oh, they just had the surgery and do not want to share’. or I can think of someone we have not heard from and feel, ‘oh, they transitioned’…and find their obituary on line.

I carry some of these ‘knowing’s’ for YEARS. It is not my business to bring it up, it is theirs – yet, it does place a bit of a wall up…..ever so slight, but the longer it goes on without sharing or admittance; the heavier the feeling with in can be. The warm-fuzzy-family-good-friend-feeling becomes more professional. It has to.

Some get being emotionally attached confused with empathy and then confused with being an empath. Emotional attachment is a lack scenario seeing another through eyes of feeling sad for them, pitying them, feeling sorry for them. Usually with one’s close circle. Without healthy boundaries people think this is loving. It is not. Being empathetic one still can see how another, and it does not matter who it is, is experiencing their lives. Usually in negative manner, to again feel bad for them on top of taking on this feeling as their own. Being an empath with healthy boundaries we can see the joy and the grief, yet do not take on the feeling.

For years since my husband and I started living together he calls me the Princess and the Pea – remember that story? Laying upon hundreds of mattresses and she still felt the pea on the bottom? Yup, that is very accurate.

If you were brought here to read, may your day feel blessed & your journey filled with Light. Thank you for joining me, Deborah

www.amethystlight.org

‘The How is up to God’

Yesterday I had one of my ‘most amazing days’ and I want to share it with you. Yes, I often have them, but yesterday was an emotional grind of pouring out and being refilled.

Long story short, as with many of us, the changes this pandemic has caused in our lives, has been a challenge for me, in the fact that I had had a healing center in our home ( many called it Deborah’s Ashram) due to my husband being away 10- 13 hours each day – and now, and for the past three months, he works from home. We have managed to do what is physically possible to make adjustments, but there is only so much given the space. I love that he does not have to drive back and forth to work each day. I am deeply happy for him, and the ease and sanity he now can work from; our beautiful home. Yet, this changes MY personal world; completely. He is in MY space, every single day. Notably there are increased chores; food, cooking, errands, laundry, messy house etc; and the biggest one – I have no silence. There was, overnight, more of everything and less of what I wanted the most.

As a healer, minister, spiritual teacher and life long meditator, I require time alone. It is like the air I breathe. My designated rooms in our home are not enough. My sound machine is not enough. One day I had a most beautiful rhythm to my day – and then it was gone. Gone. The blackboard wiped clean.

Now, please know, to fully comprehend my heart and this story; I was not angry. I understand. I want this for my husband. I love my husband. We talk openly about this. AND it changed EVERYTHING that was my foundation of daily existence.

Yesterday I had my first ‘in house’ client since this began. Yes, I would see clients on weekends when my husband was home or when he every once and a while would work from home, but his presence, the daily energy once again I say; changed everything about this space being a center. He is working from our living room. It works for him – but not for what was a center for others to find solace in. (Including myself.) Yesterday also was his first ‘day off’ since this began. He was not working.

When I awoke in the morning to begin my day, I was over the top happy knowing clients were once again coming. (I had met with a few clients out side, and been doing many phone appointments.) Then it hit, the fact that the energies were so different, I cracked. I fell apart, wide open. My husband knows I am not angry with him, he sympathizes, but what can be done?

Within my heart I felt it was possible, but just cannot see the how. This has been my question for three months since my husband started working from home. It is an option that this working from home may continue past the summer too, and then there will be retirement in a few years – how the heck can this work? Where is my solitude???? How can I have a marriage and my ministry? I fell wide open in tears, ranting, heaving and loud vocals. I went into our bedroom and let myself feel it all.

Everything hit me. How different this was. My sacred rhythm was gone. I was exhausted from the shift, from all the extra work and energy daily life was taking for me. We have a large yard and that takes my daily time also. It had all reached a huge crescendo, a huge ugly cry – and huge, massive fall apart of ‘I cannot do this’. We talked. Rationally. What can we do? Two houses? Larger home if we could afford it! What do I give up? Is it time? Do I give up who I am? I want to write, to finish my book. How can I do that AND everything else?? I want to start seeing my clients again and have that flow in my life – but how the heck can I do all this? All the more of everything AND do this ministry? How do I have both?

“Give me up, he said. No. I do not want that.“

I asked God to show me. Do I continue my work? Do I finish my book? Can you show me, please, give me the path to continue? I know the value of my work – I am not ready to give that up, I want to continue. I want my marriage and my ministry. Do I hold on to this ministry? Can writing the book be the ministry? And just give up clients and all that that involves on a daily basis, including this blog. Can I not take texts? Emails? Phone calls? I knew from the beginning this was not easy to accomplish. In my circles all the ministers I knew are not married. They had to have their solitude. It feels like a split apart – yet, my husband is also a rock for me, and can be very helpful when he is not working.

My first client came and it was heaven to sit with her. Instantly, the rest of the world fall away as we entered sacred space and Spirit flowed through me. Nothing else mattered. Of course, much of our communion and what she brought to the session reflected my story – it was perfect. Her gratitude for our work together was pronounced – and I my heart was filled up again. How can I possibly consider NOT doing this? I was grateful for the sessions and still confused, HOW?

After clients I asked my husband to drive me to do a few errands. Many days I am just too non grounded to drive. And today I remained exhausted from my emotional outburst in the morning. Before we left I checked my email. I was waiting for a response from a client about an appointment. But there was: A Beloved of this ministry wanted to donate money and the format she once used I had taken from the website – she asked how to do it now. There was a God tinge of, ‘oh, a donation – someone is appreciating my work’…………..I was so thankful for her simply wanting to! I had had no monetary donations in a long while.

Our first stop was the post office. A box from my niece in law in California. In it; love notes galore, thank you and gifts. A drawing of an angel from one of my great nieces saying – I love you Great Aunt Debbie! A drawing of a dragon fly, and a physical gift of gold dragon fly and a vase with dragonflies!!! (One of my totems.) AND, as if I was not already bawling my eyes out from feeling SO loved, a most beautiful card from my fabulous niece in law of gratitude for my spiritual support in her life. Wow God, you are sure speaking to me!!!

Then I opened our state tax return. Oh goodie. Then I opened an unexpected donation of love from a long term client I had not seen in three months giving thanks – wow God! Two donations in one day! You are amazing. Then I opened a letter from a financial settlement I had received last year…and they sent MORE money because there was more to distribute. I was just feeling so well taken care of. Financially, as with others, this ministry has not been in the flow as it had been before the pandemic. The love that was in the box from my niece and her daughters was astronomical! The gratitude I was being indwelled with from donations coming through felt like answered direction. I wept some more.

We got home and I was emotionally raw, exhausted. I couldn’t even reach out in thanks to people, I had to wait till today. It is my deep hope all the people involved in my life who God used as answered prayer yesterday read this blog – and that many others read it to know; God always answers us.

Sure, I still am discombobulated, but I have breathing room. I am fully relaying on my faith. There is a way for this to work out – and I remind myself, each time in my life times are challenging, there is always better, more unexpected good on the other side of the experience. It has always been an ‘upgrade!’ And most importantly, the HOW is up to God.

The emotional ranting, breaking apart is often a breaking through. It feels like an act of surrendering. Like raising the white flag; I give up God. I will stop this inner battle and take it one day at a time and depend on You to support me, guide me and show me the way.

SO thankful! Still unfolding, but there has been relief.

Deborah

www.amethystlight.org

Dismantling; to find the Seed.

One of my consistent awareness’s to bring to a clients understanding is that 99.9 % of the time, the issue or the challenge before them is an effect of the true problem, the seed of the belief. The effect is a symptom if you will, of the underlying, real issue, the seed that is hidden beneath the reactions causing the acting out.

For example; people may divorce due to a spouse having an affair – but that is not the seed. The seed is why? What is behind that choice they made? What prompted them to go outside the commitment?

It is the same with our present racial uprisings in our country. Yes, we all have bias. Even if we say we don’t. I am not a prejudice soul, at all. Never have been, do not have it alive in my DNA. BUT, as open as I am to ALL, as consciously awake as I am, I would be lying if I did not say, a spark, a small, teeny tiny spark that I never act upon gets ever so faintly lit, sometimes. It feels like noting a ‘difference’.

Yesterday morning I did a FaceBook live on this global awakening expressing as racism in our country, that we are in the midst of. This live presentation was quite an experience for me, it came through the very depth of my heart. So of course, I attracted this: Later in the day I went to my local farm stand and in front of me was a young man purchasing just three peaches……his car was right behind me, I noted because he did not park in regular area, but took space up close to drive-up window. Waiting in line behind him, I noted his shaved head, stance, and glanced at his car. His car had Trump signs and other that told me he was aligned with white supremacy. As I turned back around he had turned around too and our eyes met, the air was a bit thick, he looked directly through me. I wished him a good day. But, I would-be lying if I did not note, I felt the difference. I did not act upon anything for there is nothing to act upon, only love comes through me – does this mean I am prejudice, or aware? And if I am not prejudice as I believe, would I even be aware?

I grew up in the 60’s and 70’s. I came into this world not understanding why my father’s work place was targeted and he was forced to hire a person of color. I simply couldn’t understand the fact that perhaps my dad had not hired anyone due to any kind of prejudice. As a tenacious child, I asked him, why? At that time Sen. Edward Brooks of Massachusetts, the first African-American to be elected to the U.S. senate, from 1967- 1979, was a smart, well spoken, making a difference politician. I was 13 when he was elected and I still can feel the impact. He came to my fathers office for a one on one meeting – and we spoke of it at dinner. My father, a privileged white male of some authority in his community, took emotional offense that Senator Brooks had come along to his office with his ‘men’, as my father called them. No doubt, I am assuming, body guards. (Of course! I think now.) But, my fathers narrow, small and entitled perspective caused him to think another persons action had to do with HIM personally, which lacks empathy, compassion & understanding.

Entitlement is an extremely narrow, biased, small, tight, rigid, ignorant site line. It sets one apart of the whole, seeing differences other than what holds us together as a community of humanity.

In order for healing of any kind to take place within ourselves and or with others, no matter a couple or of an entire country, we must rewire the infrastructure first. There is a Shaman Journey that I was taught and have participated with a few times: one goes into a meditative state, is led to a cauldron over a fire, dismantles ones self tossing it all into the fire, then takes back only what one wants to keep. Powerful!!!! The transformative power of fire. When brought back to present state, the effect is profound.

I wish this could take place with in the United States – and perhaps we are. Perhaps in all this anger, this fire energy we are seeing, IS the dismantling of a damaged, weak, unfair, lacking integrity infrastructure – and from the ashes the new will rise.

I think of a statement Will Smith made in his up & coming years about relationship. His said his dad was bricklayer, and he taught him to lay one brick at a time, making sure each was strong, firm, balanced…because if one brick is off in the very first row it throws off the entire wall. Relationships are the same. Another words, build from a strong seed; one of honesty, integrity and love.

The relationship the United States has with itself is obviously built on shaky ground – or is it? Are we ignoring the actually bricks it WAS built on? “All men created equal’ – we certainly have not lived that out.

As an empath & intuitive I have said, the United States represents the EGO center for the globe. I regret I was so accurate. And remember, EGO, the solar plexus, stands for ‘Edging God Out’.

The seed. Let’s get to the seed, the interior framework which has allowed this horrible, ignorant, fear based, entitled prejudice to corrupt our government, our society, our lives.

God is in the cauldron too. The fire is nature, and the waters of healing WILL take place, for that is the natural cycle. When the waters come through the tears of the mothers, the shame of the white entitled, the embarrassment of a nation – perhaps our individual & collective infrastructures will be re-birthed.

May we heal with grace.

Thank you, Deborah

www.revdeborahhogan.org

‘.

What To Do Now?

Too often we awake to finding out, hearing, reading or seeing life playing out in ways that are painful, challenging and make our hearts spin. We are human, after all.

And what is this ‘human’ excuse we hear so much about? We say it as if it holds automatic forgiveness or an excuse for ‘bad’ behavior. Some days I am simply appalled at ‘bad behavior’; and you? Yes, I am sure, you too. How can you not be? Unless you live at the top of a mountain in a cave, alone, with out world access. It is rampant in our politics, in our authority figures, in life. Why? Why do so many have such poor boundaries, live in so much fear, express through fiery anger? Why is it, that so many react, rather than express calmly? Why do we do what we do to one another? Why do mothers yell at children in grocery stores to the embarrassment of by passers and the deep lifelong humiliation of a child soul? Why do people engage in killing, in war or street crime? Why, in our ‘humanness’, do we see ourselves as less than? Less than our Divine selves? Less than being able. Less than knowing better? The entire thing makes one sick. Literally. People making horrible, horrible choices, being blatantly unfair, caring more about their own self ego than the betterment of humanity.

Why do we say we are ‘human after all’ – as if we are NOT Divine, not capable of more, better. As if we somehow, because we are human, we are outside of the perimeters of God? Well, we are not. We are not living in a duality – and that is exactly why intolerable and bad behavior bothers us so much. And, because we have forgotten, or we fail to remember love, we feel and live as separation from our Divinity.

And for all the ones who are hurting, and expressing what they feel in ways that can be found intolerable – there are others who are expressing lovingly, kindly and with tolerance. There are strangers helping strangers, people working food banks, people educating, teaching, healing and guiding others to remember their innate Divinity. The helpers exist. WE can choose to be a helper.

We have to keep talking. We have to teach and expose our children to the importance of sharing without fear, listening without judgement, respecting different. We have to come to a realization that there IS Yin and Yang in this reality. We are not a utopia. We live in a world of contrast in order to choose higher. BUT, if we do not learn this; that we have choice, we will react from fear for we will feel there is no basis to stand upon.

A young mother I personally know, love & adore asked the other day on FB, how to talk with her preteen daughters about racism. This question stirred me, it moved me, it bothered me. It bothered me deeply, that that subject was a conversation one HAD to have with young people. She expressed that she felt it was required, that one should not avoid the subject. I have given this much thought. The truth is, young blacks in this country of America have had to live in that conversation their entire lives. All because of someone else’s fear, they had to be brought up in fear, in being caution, in being on high alert.

Racism comes from fear, which is the absence of love. It is based in ignorance of understanding the scope of the meaning of humanity. Racism is the absence of integrity and an expression of ego. Racism of ANY kind is NOT, NEVER, EVER acceptable – if it is making fun of a person, avoiding them when walking because of their skin color, gender or age, or feeling in authority over another human, or being abusive…the list goes on and on, doesn’t it? Racism is an empty vast dark hole; which everyone but the privileged white, of which I am one, have had to live with.

So, what do we say to our children, children of any color ? What do we say to our children of any gender, any size, any background, any ethnicity?

Can we talk with our children about this melting pot known as America? A place where many from other countries were once welcomed, and we pray, one day agian will be. Can we talk with them about feeling good about who THEY are being, no matter what any one else thinks? Can we tell them that humanity is made up of a glorious symphony of colors, shapes, sizes, languages, cultures and expression? Can we tell them that every single persons is different, like snowflakes – and that different does not mean wrong, bad, right, good, less than or better than. Can we tell them that there are people in this world who think that just because they have white skin, they are automatically better than others; this, my darling, is wrong. This is fear talking. Can we tell them that the world is made up of many ways to express, and we must care about how WE are doing, for that matters. We must learn to recognize loving, kindness and understanding. Can we tell them that this thing that makes people act out in fear upon others is an expression of who THEY are, not who you are. Even when someone makes fun of another person, when bullying happens, this is an expression of that persons sadness. Their heart hurts and no one has listened before to them. Can we tell them that we live in a world of not only diversity of people, but also of feelings, thinking, beliefs, thoughts – and it is very important for us as individuals; for you, to grow up discovering what you believe in and how you want to express in order to help the world, to help those who are suffering. And, as your parent, I am here to help you to this, and to example for you, what living from love looks like.

Can we tell them anything like that? Can we tell them no matter the color of ones skin or ethnicity; there will be nice people and not nice people. It is ones actions that speak of their integrity, not their skin color. Can we tell them to find security in their own choices, and to know that this is a huge, big ole’ world, and there is much good here, much joy here, much love here for you. Look for that.

Thank you for reading.

with great love, Deborah

http://www.amethystlight.org

A Pandemic Take-Away

This is letter I sent out to my email list this morning. It was suggested I share as my blog, so here it is!

Good Morning……….how are you feeling today? Life is just so dang interesting, isn’t it?

So, have you come away with any life changing decisions from the past few weeks? I have heard of many people who have. My dermatologists decided to retire. Just like that. They must have liked their time off! A friend decided to close her healing center, after 16 years. Relationships have shifted. This pandemic experience has changed us, changed the way we see the world, the way we see one another and the way we know ourselves to be.

For me, my change has taken place as a result of yet another deep internal dive into my own heart. Which yes, is the only way any substantial change takes motion. Every single physical and emotional ‘obstacle’ always brings me back to the same thing; “my trust in God, in that which is greater than I, in that which I am part of and IT is part of me. In the WHOLENESS and ONENESS of this existence. My deep Trust and awareness of the laws of this grand design…….and my ability to apply them.”

Oh, and there HAVE been obstacles these past few weeks. My humanness showed up big time! Yet now, after 30 years of my commitment to this path, a part of me gets happy when this resistance shows up, because I KNOW, no matter how hard it all seems at any moment, I AM guaranteed a way through. AND I KNOW YOU ARE TOO!

I am coming through this pandemic experience, which for me has been based in dramatic daily life changes; with an even stronger faith, with a deeper respect for others, with a greater awareness of how I bring it all on through my thoughts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

An experience of being able to see oneself so clearly that blaming another is impossible is so, so, yucky and so, so great!!!  I laugh at myself, honestly. If we listen deeply, sometimes we can hear our own voices in our head; “I am so miserable, why are they so *&^&^% happy????”

So funny.

So, the creme de la creme of my pandmeic takeaway is this: “I only want to talk about God.” Seems simple to you? It is and it isn’t.  My life was turned over and over to my faith many years ago, and yet, it keeps increasing. There is always more. My faith in what I know, what I have taught, what I have preached about, how I see life and attempt to live it; has only increased. This IS what I AM and how I do this life. There is nothing else for me.

In the beginning of this waking up deal, in discovering Louise Hay and positive thought, I can now see myself driving to work in my little white car, from Haverhill to Andover, down 495, talking out loud in my car stating; “I love my career, I love my job, etc. etc.” This was over 30 years ago. I was determined to be HAPPY! I was going to apply all the books I was studying and get it done! You know what, I did………..and it keeps increasing.

Well, there IS nothing else for me but chatting, sharing and focusing upon the Love, the Oneness, the Wholeness and Light that is here for each of us, and to support others to see it also. ..if you wish – or else I will simply be basking in it all by myself – but when you join me, it is all so much fun! For aligning with your very best self!

with great love,

Deborah

http://www.amethystlight.org