Why do we tolerate being less than we know we can be?
Some days, every moment is a spiritual practice. A practice of being ‘good’. A practice of being the kind person we know we are able to be. A practice of being loving, to ourselves, and not falling short of the promises we have made to ourselves. Each day is another chance to show up as we truly see our potential to be, as we feel we are, as all we have become.
The adversaries are not wanting to hurt someone else’s feelings, not wanting to disagree with another, not being different in the crowd of same, having grown into different and being afraid to rock the boat of what has always been….and the sensitive ego does not want to feel wrong. So many ‘polite’ built in cords of fear based resistance to not being all we know or see ourselves to be. Why is it some days so darn hard to show up as our true selves……..even when we know what that is?
The preciousness of finding ones way in the world is not celebrated enough – and never will be if we are not the first ones to do so. Even a person who has worked deliberately to be who they struggled and like themselves to be, can be easily intimidated to not speak up when it may not be accepted fully. I am not talking about anything huge and life altering like perhaps gender difference, – i mean the interior-ness of what we believe, how we individually show up with our simple likes and dislikes, with being able to say no when we uncomfortably say yes.
Being brought up in homes where our voice was not accepted, even for the slightest idea or action, innocent or intentional – when the creative cord is crushed due to being the square peg in the round hole, which simply means our authority figures did not agree with our ideas – can be soul crushing. Until we do our individual work and choose differently.
We seem to more than not put another persons happiness and comfort beyond our own, many, many times. I wish we could simply celebrate who we are by being ourselves, all the time, without exception. Friends allow us this gift. But it is ultimately ourselves who allow us this choice. It is when we find our clan, our pods, our aligned souls that we find home and are able to live as we want. When we live who we honestly are, we draw to us those who we are aligned with. We have to show up for that possibility to happen. The depth of comfort in living as we wish has no words to describe the solitude, wholeness and joy it gives oneself.
Fundamentally, we are each seeking acceptance. The basic yet too often unapproachable requirement of self acceptance for a life lived well, happy & whole; is essential. The outside search will cease when we love ourselves. Personally, I believe we only find this through our personal relationship with God. Spending time in my awareness of Holy Spirit, of that which is greater than i, fills me with boundless, humble confidence. My day always goes better, and I am always stronger, fuller, happier when I talk with God first thing in the morning. Truth is, I have an ongoing dialogue with God, it happens to be how I live – yet, the proof of me not always listening as well i am able, shows up in any daily discomfort, no matter how minute. This discomfort happens when i go off the ‘rails’…..go against myself….do not stay true to who I know I am, do not speak my truth, even in the slightest of circumstances. It is a struggle against ones self………………. ……………………………………………………………..and a daily spiritual practice to continually have enough faith in God to be who we want to be, to show up the way we want to show up, to express ourselves without hesitation, or at the very least, to stop hiding.
Shared with love, Deborah