Why do we tolerate being less than we know we can be?

Some days, every moment is a spiritual practice. A practice of being ‘good’. A practice of being the kind person we know we are able to be. A practice of being loving, to ourselves, and not falling short of the promises we have made to ourselves. Each day is another chance to show up as we truly see our potential to be, as we feel we are, as all we have become.

The adversaries are not wanting to hurt someone else’s feelings, not wanting to disagree with another, not being different in the crowd of same,  having grown into different and being afraid to rock the boat of what has always been….and the sensitive ego does not want to feel wrong. So many ‘polite’ built in cords of fear based resistance to not being all we know or see ourselves to be. Why is it some days so darn hard to show up as our true selves……..even when we know what that is?

The preciousness of finding ones way in the world is not celebrated enough – and never will be if we are not the first ones to do so. Even a person who has worked deliberately to be who they struggled and like themselves to be, can be easily intimidated to not speak up when it may not be accepted fully. I am not talking about anything huge and life altering like perhaps gender difference,  – i mean the interior-ness of what we believe, how we individually show up with our simple likes and dislikes, with being able to say no when we uncomfortably say yes.

Being brought up in homes where our voice was not accepted, even for the slightest idea or action, innocent or intentional – when the creative cord is crushed due to being the square peg in the round hole, which simply means our authority figures did not agree with our ideas – can be soul crushing. Until we do our individual work and choose differently.

We seem to more than not put another persons happiness and comfort beyond our own, many, many times. I wish we could simply celebrate who we are by being ourselves, all the time, without exception. Friends allow us this gift. But it is ultimately ourselves who allow us this choice. It is when we find our clan, our pods, our aligned souls that we find home and are able to live as we want. When we live who we honestly are, we draw to us those who we are aligned with. We have to show up for that possibility to happen. The depth of comfort in living as we wish has no words to describe the solitude, wholeness and joy it gives oneself. 

Fundamentally, we are each seeking acceptance. The basic yet too often unapproachable requirement of self acceptance for a life lived well, happy & whole; is essential. The outside search will cease when we love ourselves. Personally, I believe we only find this through our personal relationship with God. Spending time in my awareness of Holy Spirit, of that which is greater than i, fills me with boundless, humble confidence. My day always goes better, and I am always stronger, fuller, happier when I talk with God first thing in the morning. Truth is, I have an ongoing dialogue with God, it happens to be how I live – yet, the proof of me not always listening as well i am able, shows up in any daily discomfort, no matter how minute. This discomfort happens when i go off the ‘rails’…..go against myself….do not stay true to who I know I am, do not speak my truth, even in the slightest of circumstances. It is a struggle against ones self………………. ……………………………………………………………..and a daily spiritual practice to continually have enough faith in God to be who we want to be, to show up the way we want to show up, to express ourselves without hesitation, or at the very least, to stop hiding.  

Shared with love, Deborah


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Suffering & Universal Law.

In response to my prior blog post, of choosing our thoughts, a beloved asked me, are we then suppose to ignore those who are suffering? ( If you have not read the previous blog, you may want to do so.)

This is a vital question, and common response when first learning about universal law of choice, and choosing and/or redirecting your thinking to that which feels better, due to we are creative beings. 

Our earth world is a smorgasbord of negative & positive. We choose. We choose from the human truth, that what may feel positive for one, does not feel positive for another; (given logical, healthy perspectives). In witnessing suffering in the world; hunger, lack of water, abuse, pain, illness – the horrors of what we do to one another – if you feel BETTER taking action to support those who are suffering, then do so. One may feel the need to go feed the hungry in a third world country, or walk for a medical label of illness, or take action to better human life in a some way – IF you feel drawn to do this from a space & perspective that creates a BETTER feeling within you; then do so. BUT, if you are reading news, looking at media, reading internet, talking about, engaging with anything that brings your vibration DOWN, causes you to FEEL bad, sad, horrible, devastated, etc; then turn in another direction. Bringing more fear based thinking to an already horrific experience does not help.

We are each the center of our own play. We are each create through our engagement with whatever we choose. We each know many who have chosen professions that another would never want to do, for it would cause them discomfort. I love sitting with those who are transitioning. I love hospice work. Many others would be afraid, fearful, uncomfortable with this experience. They should not do it. Those who are in fear of the dying process are the last ones who should be helping another leave their body. I know many who are activists and feel good about this kind of work and subject. I am the last person to march for any medical label. I prefer to bring attention to our health, my belief is  we feed what we engage with, so I engage with what feels good to me, as a positive. I worked in a soup kitchen once – yes, i did it with love, not pity, sorrow or fear – and it felt good to break bread and hot meals with others who were hungry.  Not a right or wrong, just what works as choice for how one feels in the midst of an experience. Once, I worked in geriatric care, I loved it. I know others who work with ing our life experiences sick children. Many people would not want to do either, or, could not do them except in fear. Choose whatever it is you are engaging with, from a loving perception, not fearful.

The saying is feed the hungry, then pray. Do not judge; aid, then pray. Do what you are able to, to help heal, calm, release those who are suffering, and according to universal law; do it from a perception of love, not fear. Bringing love to whatever it is, is what allows for ‘better’.

As we know, a problem cannot be solved at the same level of thinking which created it. In my life, as a minister, counselor & healer, if I saw you from the perception of sick, imperfect, ill, depressed…..i would only be offering the energy of fear. I see you as fabulous – a beautiful child of the creator who has the same Divine Potential as each living being. My choice is to not look at your lack, but to seek your potential.

I truly hope this sheds Light on this inquiry.

Shared with great love, Deborah


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CHOOSE what you think about. Sounds simple, doesn’t it?  Every single directive, offering and teaching i have in my spiritual tool bag stems from this free will Divine gift. Choose what you want to see, engage with, think about, believe……………..your mind is your greatest enemy and your closest friend. Every thought is a seed you are planting in your life; the more you feed it, the larger it grows. You CAN help what you think about. Yes, it takes practice to turn your cheek, head, eyes and heart to OTHER…and YES it is not only possible, but necessary for a happy, joyful, healthy, abundant existence.

There is ALWAYS another view point, another way to see anything, another vantage point. There is ALWAYS something to look at which will make you feel good, and ALWAYS something to ponder which can make you feel sad. 

Beloveds want to know, what do i do with this that is happening, or this label, or what they said, or what is going on in the world?  The earth world is a smorgasbord of dark & light. Choose wisely. YOU GET TO CHOOSE CONSCIOUSLY! If what you are thinking does not FEEL good, choose another something to look upon. WHATEVER you are looking at, YOU are engaging with and YOUR energy of intolerance, fear, concern, anger about it is helping it grow, building its momentum and making it more than it is at this very moment. Talking about it, reading about it, listening to others about it……..all feeding it like the very best manure possible!  This is universal creative truth/law about ANYTHING.

Each individual being is so much more than you know – you are an intricate part of the fabric of your existence, as well as at the center of your life. 

I send you love, Deborah

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Do you know your superpower? Are you aware yet, of your strengths through Gods Grace? Have you realized your Divine gifts which reflect your Faith in that which our human eyes cannot see?

What DO you think is our society’s obsession with super hero’s? From the first superman tv show aired in 1952. And today, well, obsessed. And in the land of movies, HUGE moneymakers. Is God reminding us that even the ordinary is extraordinary? 

I like to see our own Divinity as the source of our superpowers.

Kindness. The superpower of people like Mother Teresa & Ellen DeGeneres.  Kindness. It changes hearts, lives & minds.  

Positivism. I will always see the character, Sue Heck of the recent show The Middle, as having the superpower of Optimism; remaining positive, seeing the good, no matter the odds, history or what anyone else said. 

Humbleness. I love the ripple effects of one who has merged with the field of being humble. It requires surrender to be humble. Knowing that one does not know, that everyone is born of the creator spark, that one is not here to fix, but rather offer. Humble does not mean one understands, at all – it means that even though one may not understand, one allows others their choice. 

Knowing. I dare not chat about this, that i may water down its brilliance and magnitude to change ones life on a daily basis. 

These are a few to consider. A sword of kindness, a web of unconditional love, a crystal of Knowing, a saber of humbleness, a thunderbolt of Optimism. Just one soul; just one totally aware, absolutely devoted to, sacredly merged with a Divine gift will change the world and lives for good. 

May your day be blessed with love,


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I have written and spoken about this teaching numerous times – and yesterday it came up in a group healing event – so, the request for more information is being answered here. I have no doubt, because these stages are universal that psychologically and other, they are understood in different language – this understanding I write from is spoken from an energetic and spiritual perspective.

Along our road to awakening, (also known as enlightenment, ascension, the longest 18 inches from your head to your heart, wholeness, Oneness, Christ alignment) we each will experience these four levels of being; as a whole as well as, about individual concepts. Until one reaches the AS stage, this teaching falls on individual understandings, not the whole.

TO: is the victim stage of being. Life is done TO us, all happens outside of us, nothing is our fault, there is no comprehension of responsibility, we have no voice, no say, not one iota of the concept of empowerment. The language of them, to me, not my fault, I don’t know – is common ground at this level of perception of the world. As an adult we are still blaming our parents, as a person one is afraid of or vocally against authority figures. Think early religion, fear, ancient times. Ruled by emotions.

BY: At this stage one is beginning to open to the dark side of EGO, and yet it is still energetically healthier than the previous level of TO, for one has shifted from outside ones self to the interior mode. The BY stage is the where the individual believes THEY are fully & ONLY responsible for what they accomplished. I did this, I did that, I, I, I. This is all about ego.mind, without any concepts of Higher Power, being part of the whole, connection. This stage can be extremely defiant, in not wanting any outside support, not looking at any other ways, perceptions or opportunities, listening to ideas, recognition of innate relating/relationship, etc.  Everything is personal.

THROUGH: God is working THROUGH me. Prayer begins to enter, the idea of connection, I can do this FOR you. On the spiritual path, many stay in this space for lifetimes. This is the time one takes workshops, classes, schooling, and their book shelves are over-flowing. The ego can be very full of itself as one still sees them-self as separate, as fully human, as an individual. Reacting emotionally is less. We begin to practice CHOICE. Unconditional love is brought into the mind set.  Taking other peoples speech personally is less & less. 

AS: At this time, we are in full recognition that we were created of God energy, made in Its image and likeness, we are awake to our innate Divine connection as One – no matter any human characteristics. The ego has died, it is no longer resonate. Fear does not exist here. All stories have been healed. Divine Consciousness is Sourced. No longer is there a frequency of you & I; there is only God. At this point of understanding we are embodying all we have desired of Love. To embody is to MERGE in Oneness. Any perceptions of personal no longer exist. One is no longer responsible for anyone else’s emotions, reactions or choices. One knows another as they know Self.   One loves all. Grace is the flow. At this stage, when one is still in human form;joy is the way, faith is the nurturer, love is the only answer. One has experienced that Love is what allows, welcomes, creates space for God to be Present. One knows beyond a breath of doubt that surrender of the idea of I is the answer to life. 

Yes, so much more can be discussed, yet this, when contemplated, may be just enough.

Shared with love, Deborah

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a mothers day commentary

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A Facebook friend sent this to my personal page yesterday – and I deeply appreciate it. I know I am a day short for this commentary, but i was simply too filled up yesterday to write. There is a facet of me which takes offense to commercialized hallmark holidays, yet due to societies ingrained expectations, I too wait for my child’s phone call and/or Mothers Day recognition. My dislike of commercial holidays due to pretense, obligations and fake recognition’s – not to mention the living pain of strained relationships in each mirror of the successful, happy healthy ones – well, it can be overwhelming. I am a believer – make each day the best, remember loved ones each day, treat one another with divine recognition each day, recognize love each day, forgive each day. Hallmark or a calendar should not be ones (only) compass.

Yesterday I had continual heart-whiffs of folks who have strained, painful, sad, burdened relationships as a mother and/or as a child. My empathy radar goes on high gear, when FB, as a mirror of society is gleaming with positive holiday comments, nursing homes are over run with once a year visitors and restaurants are filled with reservations in order to wipe away guilt.  

We cannot ignore all of it. It is all part of the mix of human relationship. The mother / child who has a long term loving, healthy, respectful, sustained love through the ages, a caring relationship – as well as the adult child who was abused by their mother, still struggling to find a nurtured heart in the midst of such devastation. 

Personally, I do know that we are able to overcome, or rather move through, grow, forgive, and even appreciate the childhood we had with a mother who was less than Hallmark perfect.  A great facet of forgiving another is not agreeing or approving with their treatment, but to allow space for their humanness, off the podium & expectations they are ‘in title’ associated with; even mother. I know that from the outside it is easy to see my own parents imperfections, faults, etc. – yet each experience of being their daughter has made me who I am today – and for that I am deeply grateful. I like me. It really has been that simplified for me. In liking me I no longer harbor the space to carry the wounds of what one may call a dysfunctional upbringing. I only carry gratitude. My mothers lack perfection mothering skills taught me at a very young age that seeking outside validation in alcohol, prescription drugs or money was not an answer. Her own lack of self worth directed me to go within. Her own wounds were a selfless service to my empowerment and spiritual life. How much I am grateful, how much I am thankful, how deeply I love her now, is beyond measure.

Yesterday I felt my heart recognizing clients and even peers I know who were physically abused by their mothers. The nurturer did not nurture, the carer did not care, the one who was to embrace, protect, and be one’s greatest cheerleader could barely get up each day – due to their own pain, their own upbringing, their own family cycle of wounds. This is a journey of  being forced to learn outside validation is passing – interior, self love, self approval, faith in a higher power is the only path to healing such cracks of pain. 

My heart hurts for the mothers who truly did the very best they were able, and children who fail to see them. My heart aches for mothers who do not have the relationship they yearn for with their children, for the human mixture has forged a different road. My heartaches for those who love conditionally – and allow predetermined expectations to set the path for ones most intimate relationships.

We EACH must do our own work, seek our own healing path in order to not repeat family wounds constructed of history and un-forgiveness. The path of FAITH helps us to find ways to heal our own hearts before we can love without exceptions, love unconditionally and allow room for another person, no matter their relationship to us, their humanness. 

Mothering comes in many forms – and can come from those who are not our biological parent. Being a mother has been and is my greatest love in human form. As a woman, the love I feel for my son, an only child, is beyond humanness – it is the gift to be ones greatest cheerleader, to see his spark before he could share it with the world, to always know his heart, to want so, so, so very much good, joy & all that life has to offer for another human being it can make me burst with effort! I know I am blessed to be his mother, each day I express gratitude for being able to feel this depth of love and soul connection with another being. I also have been given the gift of mothering others, of guiding in a motherly fashion, of filling a void – and I know it is not the same, yet I also know from my own experience, it is deeply appreciated. 

Whatever your mothering story, may you each day find ways to celebrate & feel good about who YOU are in this life……and to allow forgiveness, integrity and unconditional love to be your compass. 

I send you love, Deborah

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My 6’4″, 39 year old son @ the age of two!



Eliese Daniels Marquette Evans  July 12, 1918 - April 13, 1997

My mother, Eliese, 1918 – 1997.   

1973 – Below, me reading my son his first book, home from hospital.

ben's first book

Co-Worker for GOD


As I was with clients yesterday I heard Jesus say to me: “Some saw me on the road to Damascus….and some did not.” 

As a healer, counselor, minister – it does weigh on my heart when I cannot find the connector for others to hear me, to feel the hands of healing on their bodies, to know in faith that God is here for them!  Sometimes I think of the one liner, “you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink.” Then, I often have heard commercially famous teachers expound on how not everyone is going to “get it”….and this past week I was at an Abraham-Hicks workshop when Esther/Abraham spoke of not everyone hearing, or getting it..(not exact words, but essence of). This thinking fires me up. 

I realize people have resistance – and I believe in and teach CHOICE……..BUT, I also believe that Gods POWER & PRESENCE is the ALL and that when the energy is pure, clear and present – no amount of resistance can battle it, all unlike it falls away in ITS Presence. I absolutely know the power & presence of God energy will heal anything. This may be through prayer, a healer, a moment when one hears just the right words for them to have the experience of all resistance, like a brick wall, crumble! 

Resistance is energy of ego/mind, staid and firm in its frequency of NO, I will NOT surrender! AND when one is fully aligned with pure unconditional love, in deep faith that all is possible with God – it has no power.

When I was a little girl I could not get enough of faith healers on the television. Should have been a clear sign, indeed, of my future journey ! 

We each have all these thoughts, which become ideas and beliefs which prevent us from surrender. It is our choice to believe them. It is our choice to be co workers for God, or not. For whatever reason, God needs us here – and the universe appears to be designed in such a way that unless we take up the sword to be an active co-worker of Gods, resistance remains.

We need each other, and we each need to surrender and know God, the ultimate power & presence of life. What does it look like to be a coworker for and of God? We are united in our faith in the higher power of creation. For me, it means no matter what anyone tells me about their story/resistance, I hold fast that God is at hand…and has the upper hand! This means to me, that I hold the vibration, the frequency of knowing God is healing you……even if my human mind cannot see it right now. It means a client can tell me lie after lie against their True Identity – and I will listen with an open heart grounded in faith, that their word has no power here in THIS room, where we are, in that moment. It means I am determined to hold the purest vibration possible, in order for YOU to let go, and let God. 

Thank you for reading, I needed to put these thoughts to paper!

I send you love, Deborah


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Change takes place with in your thinking first, then the idea bubbles into your mind and eventually after hours and effort of talking it, it will settle into your cells and you become the embodiment of the story.

One word can change your story. AND one word can change the story you see and share about others. Changing the wording applies tolerance, love & hope. Changing the wording shifts the entire energy of how you see, and perhaps how others are seen. The wording will shift how YOU FEEL about the person and or your self.

My uncle is a drunk.  –  (And yet, he has been clean and sober for 25 years and you are still telling that story. )

My uncle is a dry & sober alcoholic. He worked hard and has done well.


My wife left me. ( 20 years ago.)

My ex wife left me because she needed to search for her own happiness. I hope she found it.


My child struggles in school. 

My child has yet to find a place of being comfortable in school. I have faith they will. We stay informed with their teachers and support them to feel empowered and have confidence. It is not always a bad thing to be out of the box.



We cannot tell the story we DO NOT want and expect change. We keep the story alive and we give a story life by what we speak, pay attention to and engage with.

Choose consciously your words. Take the sacred pause and as my mother always said; ‘think before you speak’! Ask yourself, if I say that, what am I giving life to? 

I send you love, Deborah

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Deborah Evans Hogan@DeborahEvansHo4 – Twitter




Hello Again………………a while since I shared here.  Many have had a wild ride, attempting balance on the energetic waves coming from galactic weather, solar storms, astrological happenings, ascension turbulence, Spiritual DNA, Light Bodies, crystalline frequencies…….many names, definitions, explanations…..in the nameless understanding of love vs. ego, faith vs. emptiness, internal vs. external, head to heart, human vs. spiritual.

Everyone’s ride looks different, IS different. Every individuals ride to get from where they are to where they want to go is unique. It is when we attempt to generalize it, compartmentalize it, compare it, that confusion and human ego lack thinking enters. From that, the clinging increases, the judgements explode and fear has its way with you.  

Human eyes are always looking outside, externally for answers. In that moment, one is ignoring their beyond valuable, innate, God-given, interior knowing of all that is. This moment of choice is crucial. This precious moment of choosing to seek OUTSIDE oneself for comfort, an answer, authority or other. THIS moment, THIS is the grand split energy and hence begins the rabbit hole ride, deeper and deeper senseless, repetitive and eternally vacant ego ride. 

Our consciousness has been being gradually raised since the beginning of time. (Or since enough of us fell down the rabbit hole and caused the great split!) Every generation has had great thinkers, lovers, those who go ahead of the mainstream middle. Yes, it does certainly feel there are many who are more awake to non physical existence than before – and many who are struggling to let go, unclench and believe in what they cannot yet see. 

And what is enduring is that the those who think outside the box, those who present original, new & not yet seen by the majority ways of seeing – eventually, perhaps generations down the evolution path, are validated. Eventually. (off the top of my head, Einstein, Curie, Plato, Gandhi, King, Yogananda, New Thought leaders….) 

If we simplify; what is the quest? Faith? Faith in what we cannot yet see? Gut? Believing in our guts, what we FEEL vs. what the majority sees? Or is it all to simply realize we are Creator energy in form and each one of us is formidable beyond our small mindedness and we are all on a path to realizing our innate GREATNESS! 

I do believe we are each creating by what we choose to engage with. Without doubt, this is  my way of being. KNOW your innate ability to choose and hence create. Self realization for sure! Whatever you engage with grows. Your interest, speech, seeing, noting, repeating, paying attention; all sacred fertilizer. 

And what about the ride? Do not go against the waves which are naturally created as you expand and change. Welcome the shifts. Unclench your hands. Remain faithful. 

In Light & Harmony-

Lovingly, Deborah

The Amethyst Light Ministry

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for my beloveds

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The collective ego appears to be screaming recently. I am also seeing it raising its venom head through clients/beloveds personal stories and experiences. I witness how ones heart can be in such pain as it points outs another persons wrong doing – it is amazing to watch the ‘bigness’ of ignorance. The vastness of the ego simply floors me sometimes, how the ego upon ego answer,  only creates more friction; yet without awareness of  Holy Spirit, without acknowledgment of the atonement, it is all one has to bring to the dance.  This is so not pretty.

I know for a fact, when I feel the ego on automatic reaction mode, finding fault in another persons way; I feel miserable. The truth is, we each do. It will tear us open, gut us like a fish, to see another person, especially someone we love, as ‘wrong”. When we can only find fault with the ways of a person we care about, our insides wrench, our heart aches and we loose sight of loving. It is a rabbit hole of insanity.  This horrible dance will feed upon you and upon you until there is nothing left of you but a totally misguided lie that you know what is best. …and you will crumble into little pieces because you are standing upon absolutely nothing. 

We do not know what is best for another person, but God does.

The way of seeing fault in another persons actions, choices or expressions is, as ACIM teaches us, because ego sees only ego. I am going to attempt to put this in every day language. – When you know yourself to be God in form, when you know you are Source energy, when you accept your Oneness with God; you accept anothers’ also. And thereby, you accept your Oneness with them also.

(ACIM: Atonement – the Holy Spirit’s plan of correction to undo the ego and heal the belief in separation; came into being after the separation, and will be completed when every separated Son has fulfilled his part in the Atonement by total forgiveness; its principle is that the separation never occurred.)

I have to first forgive myself for the times, moments and expressions when I have forgotten, failed to remember, been in ignorance of who I AM. When another person mistreats themselves, they mistreat another: in that moment they have forgotten who they are.

Love will forgive and remind them. Ego will berate and blame them. 

How do we remind another who they are? We invite Holy Spirit into our minds and hearts. We invite Holy Spirit to speak through us, as we internally forgive another persons outward actions of forgetting, of failing to remember they are ONE with God. We gently love them, reminding them who they are, how we see them as knowing what is right here, we encourage them to have faith to choose differently,  we know that somewhere within them, somewhere deeply buried beneath shame and lies is their Truth – for it is the same as each of ours; we are One. 

I continually remind myself that they too, whoever they are; knows. They know Love. They know Holy Spirit. They know God. They know…………they have simply forgotten…….and the only reason I have even seen this in them, noticed it; is because I forgot too.   

Shared with enormous love, Deborah


A Course in Miracles has taught me that if I want peace, forgiveness is necessary. Whenever I am not at peace, I know I have interpreted a situation wrongly and must forgive...this piece of advice creates so many miracles for me!