Being Happy

A person I care deeply for wrote to me yesterday, ‘I just want to be happy’. I awoke with their words in my head and on my heart. Why has happy been so difficult for them to experience? They chase and chase and chase, this and that. And, when the this or that fails, so do they.

What is it, the elusive IT, that ‘makes’ us feel happiness?

How can this chase for happy be put into as few as words as possible? What it comes down to, is – it is all an inside job. (a tired, old true statement…) In all my plus 60 years on this planet as well as over 30 years of offering spiritual counsel to & with others; no one finds happiness looking outside themselves. Happy is NOT in the relationship that never was. Happy is NOT in the job you lost, or the house someone else bought, or the whatever it is you do not have that makes you angry, sad or feel less than when you think about it. Happy does not depend on another person’s validation of you, or how they receive or do not receive what you offer.

I want to simply say; be grateful. Find anything to be grateful for in your life, and sit with that. Be with it. Talk out loud about it. Write about it. Seek gratitude. Find anything to FEEL gratitude for, and the happy cells get ignited with you. Look at, think about, anything right now in your life you are thankful for; anything.

The happy feeling is all up to ourselves. Are you willing to be happy? Happy is our own responsibility – and as long as we believe it depends on ANYTHING outside of us, we will be sad seeking it. One moment we will feel it when others do as we want, and the next moment we will not because they failed our expectations of them.

The human mind/ego gets stuck on buying things, seeking something, gaining ownership of things, looking for this happy button in a relationship, new job, better shiny things; all outside of oneself and fleeting. Gratitude fills the heart, is a FEELING with ourselves. It is NOT a thing.

Gratitude changes everything in our lives. Gratitude for the tiniest item, for the most mundane thing, or even for the most massive thing !! – BUT the KEY is feeling GRATITUDE, being thankful. AND TO FOCUS ON THAT. People are unhappy when they are focusing on what they do not have, what is gone, what was, what left them, what went wrong, what another person said, did or thinks.

As we find anything at all to feel gratitude for, we feel better and universal law will bring more of that good feeling to us.

What can you feel gratitude for right now? What can you be grateful for?

The human ego/mind plays the woe is me tape, like a broken record vinyl record that goes around and around. Only you can stop that. It takes practice. AND it is possible. AND this DOES work. It does not matter what it is; a pair of shoes, a clean room, a piece of art, a song, ones faith, the laughter you had with a friend, your pet, the gratitude you feel for your new job (but not the job itself, the gratitude you FEEL)……… just find anything at all in your life to feel grateful for and focus on that.

STOP: Complaining, whining, wanting, needing.

Focus. What are you focusing on? What you focus on is how you feel. Are you focusing on gratitude about anything at all? If not, you may want to try it.

Gratitude is a miracle drug.

with great love & apprection for meeting me here,

Deborah

www.deborahevanshogan.org

Do You Like Yourself?

If you have read any self help, New Age or Spiritually focused book you know that since the path is inward, it is all about knowing oneself, then acceptance of ourselves certainly becomes the daily quest. As we begin to listen to our thoughts, discover what we truly are thinking about this or that, sit with how we are personally re-acting to life – we see ourselves in close up shots! Not always pretty – and then we dive deeper to know how we did such a thing, why we did that, what motivated us to go there.

I have been on a conscious ‘spiritual’/waking up path since my early 20’s. That is over 40 years. I know now, it has always been about me accepting me. Me wanting to like myself, to feel good about how I was showing up in any experience. It is quite amazing how that can become the focus. We may enter this path to find peace in life, to quell other voices, to ‘help others’, but it all comes down to self acceptance. We may enter it to find God, to manifest, to seek abundance, to even simply learn to meditate….but, it all turns out to be about how we can let go of what anybody else is doing, saying or showing up – and learn to be someone we can truly ‘like’. We stop blaming anyone anything. Astounding! One stops criticizing, stops seeking, stops attaching at all. Being with ones-self, truly being present to our own hidden motivations, hearing our words, tones, thoughts…being able to actually feel good about who and how we are in this world, in our daily life – yes, this is inward.

An emptiness is revealed. There is only peace. I have a theory that we avoid this place – we know the ego does – this space can feel lonely in this world that runs on validation. Who are we when we fall away from the world? How do we define ourselves when we stop comparing ourselves?

I think there are few who would not agree that the United States, where I live, is a bit much these days. Politics, social media, all it feeling like an ego focused illness. Now, the pandemic has made our worlds very small. We no longer gather. We no longer can see ourselves interacting. We no longer can be distracted. My world has been made extremely small. It has been an adjustment, I admit. Yet, in all of this, when all else falls away, what is left? Me. Just me.

When all the labels are gone, all the judgements, all comparisons who are we? When we untangle from ourselves, what is left?

The journey is known as an inner journey, an inner awakening to know God. Okay, I am awake, now what? Like myself. Perhaps this IS what is on the other side, the way through we talk about, to the end goal – to like who we are be-ing. Can we possibly really like how we be, how we treat ourselves when no one else is around? And once we do, then what?

Okay, enough ramblings. Should be enough to get some inner revelations flowing. Thank you for joining me here.

seek love, Deborah

www.deborahevanshogan.org

surprise help.

https://deborahevanshogan.blogspot.com/2014/

So, this morning I googled myself. Not a usual thing for me. Not sure if I ever have before. But, what I found was fun – the above link to my former blog. Surpise! (Lots more reading opportunities.)

Here is an excerpt from one of the posts. These words were given me from Spirit after I asked for help with an issue in 2014. It is the same help I was wanting this week. When I offer all I have and a client consistently continues to rally verbally for their lack awareness and insists on seeing things only their way, I have pangs that I have not done enough. I feel I have failed God. It is a miserable feeling. Yet, I am asking them to own their own feelings & emotions and not blame others for them, as God directs me to own my own too. Mirror, mirror.

from Spirit:

“”1. Do not feel guilt, shame or judgement about your feelings. They are just your feelings. Its okay, they are just what you feel. That’s it, they are for you, not for them. And their feelings are for them, not for you. You don’t have to do anything with their feelings and they are not responsible for doing anything with or for yours.

2. Do not blame anyone else for your feelings. No other person, nor their actions or responses, or non responses are responsible for your feelings.

3. Own your feelings. Stand with them. No shame, no judgement. They are simply what you feel. Its okay. There is no right or wrong, remember?  Share if the relationship requires it, or if you so want to; but share in standing with them as your own, without expectations the other person will change to make you feel better.””

Still wise words. Always wise words.

Shared with love,

Deborah

www.deborahevanshogan.org

Behaving vs. Believing

I wonder, is the path of spirituality less about what one believes, and more about how one behaves?

Dogma based religion is about what one believes, who one believes in, how to believe, worship, and often, many rules. Too often religious based options make/teach the human to be a victim in life without choice… as in; unless you do this or that. In this I ponder; where is personal integrity as simply a kind human being which affects how one choose to act? How we choose to be? How we choose to show up in our lives?

Caring about our own behavior – is this not the key to peace? To joy? To commitment? To tolerance? To communication? To relationships? To all the good that is here for us to responsibly & consciously CHOOSE?

The options that spirituality offer us are inward, not external. The paths are for us to KNOW ourselves better, to take responsibility for how we show up in the world, in this day, in this experience. The path is one that builds us up as child of God, the Universe, or even starlight – the what, or the label we prefer is not as important as how we apply the teachings and insight we gain in order to help create more good, more love, more peace in our world. In other words, how we behave.

If you know me, you know I am a woman of tremendous faith in God. I am an ordained interfaith minister, brought up in a conservative protestant household. In my heart & mind, I know Jesus. My faith lights my path – no doubts at all in a Higher Power of Creation. AND, I take full responsibility how I apply this in my everyday life through my behavior.

As I consider my belief in Karma, my knowing of Universal Law, my deep intuitive knowing & realizations of my own expression, which I would never have spent time with had it not been my calling to what is labeled spirituality – I easily see the strength, courage and resilience that taking responsibility for my words, tones, actions, thinking & beliefs make up each moment of my BEHAVIOR – and for this, I remain, eternally grateful.

Thank you for joining me here.

with great love, Deborah

www.deborahevanshogan.org