I am an empath and an H.S.P. ; highly sensitive person. These are today’s labels. I imagine they will be different in ten years. Perhaps in the 1700’s it was witch, healer in the woods or midwife. In the 1960’s maybe it was psychic, then we heard intuitive. I will throw in wise woman, Sage, Shaman, oracle, prophet and channeler. Yes indeed, each ten years or so, the collective shifts, language changes, meanings transform. All ways we communicate – ah, so many, many ways.
First off, this is all my perspective. I am not an expert on anything but myself. (Are any of us, and should we be?) If you are seeking expert advice, I offer you books by Judith Orloff, M.D.. https://drjudithorloff.com/ For me, her 365 daily for empaths is saving grace in tactile book form.
Being an empath, or whatever label you personally choose for one who see’s with feelings and energy, having no boundaries is a living hell. I have excellent boundaries. I have consciously worked on this for many years. Yet, there are times when it can be deeply challenging. Not in my work, in my work the professional edge is present and my boundaries are crystal clear. I do not carry my clients discomfort or challenges. In my personal life it can be very different.
I knew a psychic who one day ‘saw’ that her husband was having an affair. She threw all his belongings out in the driveway, waited amongst his things resting in a lounge chair, for him to come home. As he got out of his car she stood and looked at him and said; “Really? You thought I wouldn’t know?”
Yup, that is how it all is sometimes. Friends who do not share secrets that involve you, relatives who ‘hide’ having surgeries, who are separated, are getting a divorce……people you care about not sharing. These are people you have soul connections with, a substantial relationship, not every single person. This not sharing is not about me, I understand that. I do not take it personally. (Well, maybe a little bit cuz I think I can help them and wouldn’t it be nice for them to confess it??) Our relationship does not prevent me from ‘seeing’ it, because we do care and love one another there is an energetic opening, a tunnel if you will, connecting us. No, I do not look on purpose. In fact, looking is not the accurate way to define it. A feeling just drops into my mind, my head, I hear, or I have a knowing – I may text someone and they do not reply and I sit with it and ‘know’, ‘oh, they just had the surgery and do not want to share’. or I can think of someone we have not heard from and feel, ‘oh, they transitioned’…and find their obituary on line.
I carry some of these ‘knowing’s’ for YEARS. It is not my business to bring it up, it is theirs – yet, it does place a bit of a wall up…..ever so slight, but the longer it goes on without sharing or admittance; the heavier the feeling with in can be. The warm-fuzzy-family-good-friend-feeling becomes more professional. It has to.
Some get being emotionally attached confused with empathy and then confused with being an empath. Emotional attachment is a lack scenario seeing another through eyes of feeling sad for them, pitying them, feeling sorry for them. Usually with one’s close circle. Without healthy boundaries people think this is loving. It is not. Being empathetic one still can see how another, and it does not matter who it is, is experiencing their lives. Usually in negative manner, to again feel bad for them on top of taking on this feeling as their own. Being an empath with healthy boundaries we can see the joy and the grief, yet do not take on the feeling.
For years since my husband and I started living together he calls me the Princess and the Pea – remember that story? Laying upon hundreds of mattresses and she still felt the pea on the bottom? Yup, that is very accurate.
If you were brought here to read, may your day feel blessed & your journey filled with Light. Thank you for joining me, Deborah