aging, kindness & tolerance…..

(This post was originally shared May 2016. Perfectly, I rediscovered it this morning, after a few hours of internet searching for an ‘aging’ issue I am experiencing. This post, it feels worth repeating. What I get from it now is self care, self patience, and self humor, as I ride the waves of changes…and continually (my intention!)  come back to natural balance.)   

aging……………we each do it………………some to different ages than  others………..but these comments are about aging into 60’s, 70’s and beyond………..

in the grocery store the other day, a younger clerk (early 30’s) was helping an elder (80’s) shop. the elder was pushing her cart, with cane in cart, glaucoma shades on, her hair recently coifed and orthopedic shoes for balance. evidently on Wednesdays the elder transport bus picks up several souls and drops them off to food shop, then comes around again and takes them home. like many at that age, her hearing was weak and she constantly repeated and asked questions at the deli counter while waiting for her roasted chicken. questions that many found ‘absurd’, according to their faces and grins; how much does it weigh, why is it taking so long, are you cooking it? there was a lot of smirking. 

i was behind our elder friend at checkout. watching the assistant being frustrated, looking around for help, answering questions over and over, her face showing frustration over and over. even when this elder expressed how hard this is to do……more behind the scene smirks.

i was called to the next aisle. the young man (20s) waiting on me, made a head nod to the elder behind him and said, i am sorry for all the confusion over there. i stopped and looked directly at him, another woman in her 60’s behind me…..there is no need to apologize for anything, we are each aging, even you. one day this may be you, needing assistance with your shopping – there is nothing to apologize for. your store is showing her a kindness.

can you hear the silence?

can you hear the lady behind me give me a look of surprised thankfulness?

yes, it does take an enormous amount of patience to assist some elders – but this elder was actually very nice, accepting of the help, very appreciative. her concerns were waiting longer than needed; of course, her legs are probably exhausted. her concerns were how much does the roasted chicken weigh;  she is probably alone and does not want to waste food.

to think of others circumstances lends us to compassion, kindness & tolerance. aging is a real thing. even with how healthy i am and the strong, active life i have led; at 62 i am ‘feeling’ the aging thing.  movement is slower. i remind myself, my soul is ageless, but my (beautiful ,strong, amazing) body truly is temporary. it may take 2 days to mow the lawn, rather than all in one. (BIG lawn!) as i said to my acupuncturist yesterday, who is treating me for an ‘aging thing’……aging takes time. life catches up with you. there are more ‘things’ i have to do in order to continue to age well – whether my Nettie pot daily use, being sure to floss thoroughly every single day, wearing the right shoes or stretching much more often than ever before and even more important; being okay with this– respecting my body, going with what is, accepting change.  for me personally, the most important is to continue to live from my holistic, faith based perceptions. it truly is what has always been my intention – to walk my talk, live what i teach. i have felt the fears come up, a reaction here and there of what ‘may be’ when a joint is not as graceful as it use to be; it lasts a moment or a day; and then i surround myself with like minded practitioners (who empower and do not place words of fear in my mind) – and all is well.

be patient, its good for you.

be kind, its good for you.

stop pushing against anything, whether it be your own process or another persons. we are all in this together. 

Deborah Evans Hogan

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