Constructs, Fear & Love

So, we have an expression of choice which will once again tear a construct apart.

Or, is this a reflection of what was already broken?  I go with this one. 

Church, like money & politics, is a loaded word. Either of them will reveal immediate differences. Today, we take the word church. 

If you are seeking a personal relationship with God, know, you may not find it at your ‘church’.  We expect to, and there may lie the seed of an issue. A church is a building or  business which is founded, and run and led by a human being. Human beings are imperfect. What does that say? That church will be imperfect. 

Let us go to the nature of God; All-Loving. 

Does God have anything to do with church? Let us enlarge our net and include spiritual groups and communities. All begun, led and guided by a human. 

Unless a human has reached a level of unconditional living and being, chances are you will find judgement being raised. Even if one states, ‘you mean like Jesus was’… an interfaith, New Thought  minister having served for ten years in Church ministry, too many times I  witnessed what I perceived as judging. Judging which denounces, which wrongs, condemns, which makes other feel less than, which looks to another persons faults rather than their purity and innocence as a child of  ‘God”, of the Universe. 

I have a ministry. I am a human being.  Not everyone agrees with me. Okay. (a favorite quote, ” If everyone were in the same place there would only be one teacher.”)

We can be a part of a construct which denounces us and take it personally, or we can say, this is what life is…we and constructs get to choose, they make choices… will is about choice……and I obviously do not agree with their dogma, their attitudes, their guidelines. Thank you and goodbye.

My personal history with ‘church’ is this story happened over and over again until I made the conscious choice to listen, and walk away, to un-cling and truly live, that whatever this God word represents to me, it is WAY too big for one building and way too loving for the constructs. 

I failed over and over again to fit into the box a church board or a senior minister had designed through their choice. The congregations would love me…. it was always a love affair of joy, support, growth and inclusion. Most of the time, the boards and the senior ‘management’ were very complementary, pleased and appreciated of my presence – except, when I wanted to be their full time choice. Then, I was not aligned enough, certified enough or trained enough by their standards. It was critical due to the acceptance for three or more years of being a guest minister or on staff……and then, when it was that moment; I was literally shunned. The episodes could make a hallmark movie, one being my own mentor denied me to my face, telling me that the position I wanted was impossible for me to assume and the person I had mentored through ministerial school who had no church experience at all got the desired position. (They lasted only one year and the church has since closed.) Okay now, deep breath. Another is after three years of being an interim minister I applied for permanent and was denied the position due to lack of graduating from their specific arm of church education (although they let me teach it, preach it and serve it for many Sundays.) Now, what happened post this episode is interesting; first off, I was broken. Evidently I was shocked. My ego must have been inflated. I had felt so assured, so loved, each one always telling me how grateful they were I was there…..that when I walked out of that final meeting with their board I was in indescribable pain. Within a week I received several phone calls from congregants, each one angry, in dismay, upset. (Many who I am still, to this day, in touch with, 12-15 years past.) I remember the phone calls as if they were yesterday: holding my heart and head with one hand, breathing deeply into the phone, praying for right loving guidance to direct them – and I would say, ‘Your board did what they feel is best for you. They are your board, you need to speak with them. ‘ I had to encourage them to use what empowerment they had – for them, not me.  After this phone call I was told a meeting was held, the first of many, and even small children would stand up and ask for Rev Deb to come back. I am sure the board did not have an easy time holding onto their choices. They did, many left the church, they eventually found their  minister of choice. 

It wasn’t until I fully realized how I do not fit into any box that I was able to un-cling, let go and let God.  Now, my life is filled with an out of the box successful ministry of supporting others to engage with a personal relationship with Spirit, through the recognition of many varied offerings.  Some people like this, others like different. So be it. You get to choose.

This choice by the United Methodist Church is going to break it apart. But, AND; do NOT let it break YOU!  (Personally for me, anything that is still judging others for any gender related issue is going to crumble now. It cannot stand in the midst of our loving vibration. True colors will always be revealed in the Light of Love.)

We cannot let another human beings choices, stances, opinions break us. IF we do, then WE fail to remember how much God loves us! When we are NOT recognized, we must go where we are. 

In this earthly existence there will ALWAYS be differences. For many of us, this is the beautiful fabric of life – for others it is scary and boxes have to be erected in order to keep themselves safe from those who think differently than they do. Individuals do this and churches do this. Businesses do this. Constructs do this.  It is the way of the human, but not the way of a Loving God.

Shared with Great Love,

Rev. Deborah Evans Hogan

The Amethyst Light Ministry



How Did You?

At an intimate awakening group gathering yesterday an attendee asked me – ‘how did you get to where you are from that?’ As the essence of Divine Unity is upon us, groups and private clients are becoming more and more authentic, sharing in what was private to simply what is; minus the judgement. Another words, seeing and feeling from the highest point possible. Recently, as many have experienced, it has been a tumultuous time in our evolve-lutions, and in this small group gathering yesterday I was guided to share freely, telling the story of my own personal recent revelations which were effects of the changing times as well as personal astrological transits ‘hammering’ me – and how I came through this.   

No new memories had been revealed to me, yet I DID and am now seeing them through what I am stating is the highest presence of love possible. Forgiveness and therapy are in the past, it was not about that – it was an experience of heart centered empathy for what the child of my own heart, and everyone else involved, must have emotionally felt. Anger is and was not anywhere, yet the awareness of ‘horribleness’ for a nine year old was palpably experienced. Unconditional love. Empathy. 

This recent revelation of the seeds of my story, of the seeds which were planted in my life through four individual yet powerfully connected critical awareness’s uprooted my center, revealing a clearer understanding of myself and how I function, how I show up in the world in an entirely fresh, new, humbling, self – loving way.  

I also spoke about this journey being one of self realization – it is all about learning about ourselves, why we do what we do and how we can show up differently. We each are the stars of our own movie. 

As I shared,  including how I walked through this recent revelation with new (in)sight and made the choices I make, I was asked; how did I get to where I am from that ?

I answered, but now I feel it was incomplete. I shared about finding something positive one believes in – and this leads to conversations about the innate power of belief. And for me, the root is that I knew at a very young age, that what my family presented – (money, materialism, alcohol, illness, emotional dysfunction) did not work, so I looked in another direction. Others chimed in with suggestions. But, here is what I failed to express:

“As you all know, I teach 100 % responsibility for our lives, for how we show up in them. Since the first of the year, I asked God for WHOLENESS. This has been my prayer, my intention, my desire. And since 1/1 I have been, as many, on a roller coaster ride of life. We spoke about our spiritual tools bags today, what is in them, how we use them, how to fill them. But I tell you, if one does not know, understand and APPLY the Spiritual Laws of God, the Laws of Life, the codes upon which this world was divinely designed, nothing you do will bring you to the answers you are seeking. Nothing. Since the early 90’s I have attempted to live empowered, not a victim. I learned to honor that what I seek in another, I am seeking in myself. As above, so below. I learned that what we do to another, we do to ourselves. I applied the fact that when I am angry, I am the only one who feels terrible, so what a useless waste. I learned that when I would get triggered it had nothing to with another and everything to do with me and I lived that, I held myself to it.  I stopped blaming and looked for MY role in any experience. I began walking in integrity. It does not matter how many certificates you have or books you read or tapping or REIKI or meditation or other you do – if you are not living by Gods Codes. Anything else can be soothing, even helpful, and is temporary, will have to be redone at some point, another book bought ( do not take this personally, my library use to be enormous, it helped to get me here); UNTIL you understand the Laws of the Universe and live by them. (without love you are a clanging bell) Until you know thyself. As the evidence of the Laws is revealed more & more, that I AM a spark of God, a creative speck of Life – one depends more and more, lives as is more and more and would never, ever NOT apply the laws, NOT honor them, NOT live them. This is how I got to where I am today, through faithfulness in the magnificent design of the Divine Architect and living it.”

(On my website you can a find a suggested reading & video list. I  always recommend listening to Abraham Hicks no matter where you are on your journey.) 

with great love & appreciation for you,



What if…………….

The other day I came across a comment, found in an advertising executives blog, written from the perspective of high-tech, digital, etc. in the world of advertising, and this line stopped me in my tracks: “What if everything is listening?” (- T. Szewczyk, VP, Director Emerging Technology & Innovation @ Leo Burnett & Creator of Leovative &…my nieces husband)  

This leaves me breathless. My eyes, my mind, my perspective is not the technology  level of what is outside of us, but the created level of what is PART of everything – a deep dive into the core teaching of what is coming forward today through the joint knowledge of science and spirit, a deep dive into what many New Thought teachers of the late 1800’s and 1900’s stated, (Dr. Ernest Holmes, founder of Science of Mind, “Faith + Spirit = manifestation)” – a deep dive into words Jesus spoke of the power of our mind combined with our emotions, and a line that Gregg Braden may have wished he had written. Really! What if, everything is listening?

What if, our world, our universe WAS created as the first computer ( read – G.Braden, ‘The Spontaneous Healing of Belief’, Hay House, 2008). 

What if, and I offer this sincerely for I DO BELIEVE IT IS SO, that on the highest functioning level, EVERYTHING ‘HEARS’. Meaning, the idea of talking to flowers & plants is not foolish, but a reality. 

Years ago in holistic health school I brought up the topic that I do not believe in genetics or illnesses handed down through generations, I believe in the stories, words and social-ness of the family/community surrounding an individual, influencing  & much of it subliminally, a child. I proved this to myself . Growing up in an alcoholic home, a mother who had nine major surgeries in her life, used prescriptions drugs endlessly, cancer, bad backs, constant dieting for weight loss, skin diseases for generations, a home where the news was on morning and night, where emotional dysfunction was the norm – I can say, I believe in the power of my mind and faith which has created within me a healthy woman of (almost) 65. I worked at this, from the time I was 19, to know my life as healthy, my body as not requiring outside substances to heal (extreme cases; caesarean birth of son, tonsils at 6, gall bladder at 60) and no prescriptions. I told myself another story, and to this day, still live that truth. 

I do talk with everything. My son once said, ‘Mom, I enter a room where you are by yourself and yet you are talking out loud – to God, to angels, to  dead people, I have no idea. I am interrupting a conversation and no one is there!”

I hold conversations with all for I believe everything listens. Now, we must take our human head out of the linear concept of hearing with ears – and consider how our moods affects our days, how our self talk affects our emotions, how our liking anything makes it more beautiful. I believe that everything hears me, on a consciousness level, not only my pets, plants, flowers respond to my love, but so does our home, our land, my entire life. 

Let us go deeper. Our thoughts are going somewhere – they are mingling with consciousness. What about the idea that our hearts can feel what others say behind our backs? How else could karma work if consciousness was not listening and responding? 

Empaths know this. I am an empath.  Some may call it heightened intuition. I like to consider it , hearing with my heart center. (The largest electromagnetic center in the human body, with a range in miles.) I arrange life based on what feels good. I live in a town where there has been two recent devastating experiences; the energy of the town shifts. In deaths  it is heavy, somber. This is in the air, the field of awareness. It is palpable. This is how I do my work, communicating with the energy of a client, or a story or a beloved – feeling/reading the energy of anything at all – is this not what and how we live in the Divine Matrix, this God created Computer of Life – everything listening, everything responding, everything feeling. 

You know when you like something or not, right? How? A feeling.

You know when you feel unsafe, right? How? A feeling.

You know when you are in love, right? How? Feeling.

How do you think prayer works? Why do you think world-wide prayer has influenced peace in the middle east? (James Twyman)

The concept of acknowledging our feelings is 101. 102 is trusting them, owning that our feelings, how we see something, influences everything. There is no whispering behind anyones backs, this is impossible. (A huge burden for an intuitive empath, indeed.) There is no coverup, for all is seen. There is no hiding anything. We have been watching this come to fruition for several years. 

How you talk about your body, your family, your home, your children, your clothes, your life, strangers, others, friends………………..every little thing, every conscious & unconscious statements corresponding to YOU!

I am simply blown away with this relevant, incredibly awesome and courageous thought: “What if, everything is listening?”  

It is. Everything is consciousness, all is part of the Divine Matrix of Life, the God Mind, all is responding to all else.

with great love, Deborah

What Do You Like About Yourself?

Sounds like a simple six word question. Not. Perhaps one of the most difficult – and I know for many, it is. A quizzical face comes upon some when you ask them, this ‘simple’ six word question. So, what do you like about yourself?

Silence. Huh? What do you mean? Like. Tell me something about yourself that you like. Hmmmmmmm…………Wait a sec, I’ll get it. No, This is not a right or wrong answer, simply, please share with me one thing you like about yourself. 

Eventually, with most, except that one who is desperately in the darkest of places, there will be an excruciating answer. 

Tell me something you like about your spouse? There can be a list, without thought. We could even categorize it, for even more simple complexity! Tell me something about your body you like – or the way you do your job you like – or something you think you are good at, and why. Share something positive about you. 

You get my point. 

What if in a daily time of devotion, meditation, it was to build ourselves up. To truly seek something, a trait or other, about who we are and contemplate that. Give that a minute or two of our attention. What is it, why do we like it? Let me give you some ideas:

I like the way I pray.

I like my passion about my beliefs.

I like the way I observe people and can help them see another way, another solution. 

Yes, it can feel uncomfortable for many. Do it anyways. This is not about building up ones ego, it is about building up awareness of self.

What if, in our good night time with our children, we not only ask what was the best part of your day? But also, what did you like about yourself today – did you act kindly to another person? Did you help anyone? Did you listen well? Did you share something with another person? And then, what did you see another person doing that you liked, and why? 

I wonder, what this could possibly instill in our next generation? And even ourselves. 

with love & gratitude, Deborah

head shot looking down