This morning a FB acquaintance posted she was mistaken for the parking lot attendant at her condo building in Boston as she was waiting for HER private car to pick up she and her assistant. My acquaintance is a CEO, founder of her own company, bold, beautiful, formidable, beyond accomplished, and black. For any one who knows her, this is utter ridiculous-ness. And not.

After reading her post, I continued on with my thoughts. How many years ago in the early 90’s, one early morning in Haverhill, MA., i was dressed for my PR job, leaving my building early and a car drove up to me, put the window down and asked how much I charge.  Didn’t see the briefcase, did you? Yes indeed, i must be a well dressed prostitute at this hour of daylight. How last week in the grocery store i was asked by the YOUNG clerk, ‘do you “remember” your phone number’?  in a sick, sweet, ignorant voice. Yes, she is young, but no excuse. (we enter # in when we pay to use bonus points) The young man who knows me, bagging my groceries, looked at  me, smiled and smirked…..I immediately looked down at her, “Do I LOOK old enough to forget my phone number???!!!” (The rath of Deborah, as my husband calls it.) Assumptions of one with white hair and NOT looking at ones being. How this ignorance has nothing to do with just the color of ones skin, but the blindness of the one not seeing. How when we are NOT present, we DO NOT SEE ACCURATELY. How judgment, biased, assumptions, prejudice of anything is ALL about how one sees. Their own perception, ignorance, lack of BEING PRESENT.

Yes, there are folks who dislike only based on the color of ones skin, or the education, or family, or community one is from, as well as what one does for a living or the clothes they wear. We ASSUME. We CATEGORIZE. 

Yes, there are certain traits to clans. Yes, their are certain personality traits to those who this and those who are from there. BUT, we are talking about individuals. Open our eyes.

There is much prejudice which is subliminal also. Not known to the person. Really, be honest, when do you not feel safe? Once, when I had my art gallery and first healing center, a patron came in one day asking me to call the police about the ‘gang’ of young people down the street. I looked. Maybe 6, outside the coffee shop, smoking. I assured her I knew some of them from the alternative high school and they were simply smoking outside the coffee-house. She went on to share how unsafe she felt. They need to be broken up. Kids, in a group, not good. Assuming. Fear. Like a pack of dogs. Nothing she was feeling had anything to do with those teenagers. Nothing. Yet, they are blamed.

When one has not done their own work to reveal ones heart center, they will be coming from the ego/mind fear/defensive mode. 

Years ago I drove to Florida with my son. He had rented a townhouse and was moving for work. We were to meet a friend of his who would give us the key and lead us to the property, right off the interstate at a MacDonald’s. We walked in. We were the only white people in the restaurant, from employees to customers. All i could think was, ” Oh, this is what being the minority feels like.” I was safe, that was not an issue, but i was lovingly aware of the ‘difference’ and the gift i was receiving in this moment. This is what it feels like to be a black person in the room of white skin. This is what separation feels like. Somewhere within me, this is planted.

I once dated a beautiful black man from the Caribbean. Heavy, delightful accent. Once at my condo I ran out to get something at the corner store. I came back to this sweet man apologizing, he had answered the phone while I was gone for maybe ten minutes, it was my mother. I called her right back; ‘are you okay? are you hurt? who was that?????’, in full blown reactionary panic mode.

During my first marriage to a Sicilian man, my father actually said very casually one night, don’t all Italian men beat their wives? 

Good God, our lack of faith in human kind, our trained ignorance, our unknown beliefs. Our judgmental assumptions. Our fears. Defense mode!!! Yes, in our humanness we group together through interests, many times we group together through community. Everyone is seeking like community, whether it be our soul group or the best golf course. Yet, too many still live from fear, not yet realizing we are each a child of God, all created from the same energy, made in the image & likeness of the Supreme Beingness. We all have a heart.  And all too often, hearts are totally closed and assumptions are made without one having eyes wide open to see what is directly in front of them; a VERY well dressed black woman with an assistant waiting for her private car or a young professional going to work early. 

Shared with love, Deborah

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Why do we tolerate being less than we know we can be?

Some days, every moment is a spiritual practice. A practice of being ‘good’. A practice of being the kind person we know we are able to be. A practice of being loving, to ourselves, and not falling short of the promises we have made to ourselves. Each day is another chance to show up as we truly see our potential to be, as we feel we are, as all we have become.

The adversaries are not wanting to hurt someone else’s feelings, not wanting to disagree with another, not being different in the crowd of same,  having grown into different and being afraid to rock the boat of what has always been….and the sensitive ego does not want to feel wrong. So many ‘polite’ built in cords of fear based resistance to not being all we know or see ourselves to be. Why is it some days so darn hard to show up as our true selves……..even when we know what that is?

The preciousness of finding ones way in the world is not celebrated enough – and never will be if we are not the first ones to do so. Even a person who has worked deliberately to be who they struggled and like themselves to be, can be easily intimidated to not speak up when it may not be accepted fully. I am not talking about anything huge and life altering like perhaps gender difference,  – i mean the interior-ness of what we believe, how we individually show up with our simple likes and dislikes, with being able to say no when we uncomfortably say yes.

Being brought up in homes where our voice was not accepted, even for the slightest idea or action, innocent or intentional – when the creative cord is crushed due to being the square peg in the round hole, which simply means our authority figures did not agree with our ideas – can be soul crushing. Until we do our individual work and choose differently.

We seem to more than not put another persons happiness and comfort beyond our own, many, many times. I wish we could simply celebrate who we are by being ourselves, all the time, without exception. Friends allow us this gift. But it is ultimately ourselves who allow us this choice. It is when we find our clan, our pods, our aligned souls that we find home and are able to live as we want. When we live who we honestly are, we draw to us those who we are aligned with. We have to show up for that possibility to happen. The depth of comfort in living as we wish has no words to describe the solitude, wholeness and joy it gives oneself. 

Fundamentally, we are each seeking acceptance. The basic yet too often unapproachable requirement of self acceptance for a life lived well, happy & whole; is essential. The outside search will cease when we love ourselves. Personally, I believe we only find this through our personal relationship with God. Spending time in my awareness of Holy Spirit, of that which is greater than i, fills me with boundless, humble confidence. My day always goes better, and I am always stronger, fuller, happier when I talk with God first thing in the morning. Truth is, I have an ongoing dialogue with God, it happens to be how I live – yet, the proof of me not always listening as well i am able, shows up in any daily discomfort, no matter how minute. This discomfort happens when i go off the ‘rails’…..go against myself….do not stay true to who I know I am, do not speak my truth, even in the slightest of circumstances. It is a struggle against ones self………………. ……………………………………………………………..and a daily spiritual practice to continually have enough faith in God to be who we want to be, to show up the way we want to show up, to express ourselves without hesitation, or at the very least, to stop hiding.  

Shared with love, Deborah

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Suffering & Universal Law.

In response to my prior blog post, of choosing our thoughts, a beloved asked me, are we then suppose to ignore those who are suffering? ( If you have not read the previous blog, you may want to do so.)

This is a vital question, and common response when first learning about universal law of choice, and choosing and/or redirecting your thinking to that which feels better, due to we are creative beings. 

Our earth world is a smorgasbord of negative & positive. We choose. We choose from the human truth, that what may feel positive for one, does not feel positive for another; (given logical, healthy perspectives). In witnessing suffering in the world; hunger, lack of water, abuse, pain, illness – the horrors of what we do to one another – if you feel BETTER taking action to support those who are suffering, then do so. One may feel the need to go feed the hungry in a third world country, or walk for a medical label of illness, or take action to better human life in a some way – IF you feel drawn to do this from a space & perspective that creates a BETTER feeling within you; then do so. BUT, if you are reading news, looking at media, reading internet, talking about, engaging with anything that brings your vibration DOWN, causes you to FEEL bad, sad, horrible, devastated, etc; then turn in another direction. Bringing more fear based thinking to an already horrific experience does not help.

We are each the center of our own play. We are each create through our engagement with whatever we choose. We each know many who have chosen professions that another would never want to do, for it would cause them discomfort. I love sitting with those who are transitioning. I love hospice work. Many others would be afraid, fearful, uncomfortable with this experience. They should not do it. Those who are in fear of the dying process are the last ones who should be helping another leave their body. I know many who are activists and feel good about this kind of work and subject. I am the last person to march for any medical label. I prefer to bring attention to our health, my belief is  we feed what we engage with, so I engage with what feels good to me, as a positive. I worked in a soup kitchen once – yes, i did it with love, not pity, sorrow or fear – and it felt good to break bread and hot meals with others who were hungry.  Not a right or wrong, just what works as choice for how one feels in the midst of an experience. Once, I worked in geriatric care, I loved it. I know others who work with ing our life experiences sick children. Many people would not want to do either, or, could not do them except in fear. Choose whatever it is you are engaging with, from a loving perception, not fearful.

The saying is feed the hungry, then pray. Do not judge; aid, then pray. Do what you are able to, to help heal, calm, release those who are suffering, and according to universal law; do it from a perception of love, not fear. Bringing love to whatever it is, is what allows for ‘better’.

As we know, a problem cannot be solved at the same level of thinking which created it. In my life, as a minister, counselor & healer, if I saw you from the perception of sick, imperfect, ill, depressed…..i would only be offering the energy of fear. I see you as fabulous – a beautiful child of the creator who has the same Divine Potential as each living being. My choice is to not look at your lack, but to seek your potential.

I truly hope this sheds Light on this inquiry.

Shared with great love, Deborah

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CHOOSE what you think about. Sounds simple, doesn’t it?  Every single directive, offering and teaching i have in my spiritual tool bag stems from this free will Divine gift. Choose what you want to see, engage with, think about, believe……………..your mind is your greatest enemy and your closest friend. Every thought is a seed you are planting in your life; the more you feed it, the larger it grows. You CAN help what you think about. Yes, it takes practice to turn your cheek, head, eyes and heart to OTHER…and YES it is not only possible, but necessary for a happy, joyful, healthy, abundant existence.

There is ALWAYS another view point, another way to see anything, another vantage point. There is ALWAYS something to look at which will make you feel good, and ALWAYS something to ponder which can make you feel sad. 

Beloveds want to know, what do i do with this that is happening, or this label, or what they said, or what is going on in the world?  The earth world is a smorgasbord of dark & light. Choose wisely. YOU GET TO CHOOSE CONSCIOUSLY! If what you are thinking does not FEEL good, choose another something to look upon. WHATEVER you are looking at, YOU are engaging with and YOUR energy of intolerance, fear, concern, anger about it is helping it grow, building its momentum and making it more than it is at this very moment. Talking about it, reading about it, listening to others about it……..all feeding it like the very best manure possible!  This is universal creative truth/law about ANYTHING.

Each individual being is so much more than you know – you are an intricate part of the fabric of your existence, as well as at the center of your life. 

I send you love, Deborah

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Do you know your superpower? Are you aware yet, of your strengths through Gods Grace? Have you realized your Divine gifts which reflect your Faith in that which our human eyes cannot see?

What DO you think is our society’s obsession with super hero’s? From the first superman tv show aired in 1952. And today, well, obsessed. And in the land of movies, HUGE moneymakers. Is God reminding us that even the ordinary is extraordinary? 

I like to see our own Divinity as the source of our superpowers.

Kindness. The superpower of people like Mother Teresa & Ellen DeGeneres.  Kindness. It changes hearts, lives & minds.  

Positivism. I will always see the character, Sue Heck of the recent show The Middle, as having the superpower of Optimism; remaining positive, seeing the good, no matter the odds, history or what anyone else said. 

Humbleness. I love the ripple effects of one who has merged with the field of being humble. It requires surrender to be humble. Knowing that one does not know, that everyone is born of the creator spark, that one is not here to fix, but rather offer. Humble does not mean one understands, at all – it means that even though one may not understand, one allows others their choice. 

Knowing. I dare not chat about this, that i may water down its brilliance and magnitude to change ones life on a daily basis. 

These are a few to consider. A sword of kindness, a web of unconditional love, a crystal of Knowing, a saber of humbleness, a thunderbolt of Optimism. Just one soul; just one totally aware, absolutely devoted to, sacredly merged with a Divine gift will change the world and lives for good. 

May your day be blessed with love,


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