I have written and spoken about this teaching numerous times – and yesterday it came up in a group healing event – so, the request for more information is being answered here. I have no doubt, because these stages are universal that psychologically and other, they are understood in different language – this understanding I write from is spoken from an energetic and spiritual perspective.

Along our road to awakening, (also known as enlightenment, ascension, the longest 18 inches from your head to your heart, wholeness, Oneness, Christ alignment) we each will experience these four levels of being; as a whole as well as, about individual concepts. Until one reaches the AS stage, this teaching falls on individual understandings, not the whole.

TO: is the victim stage of being. Life is done TO us, all happens outside of us, nothing is our fault, there is no comprehension of responsibility, we have no voice, no say, not one iota of the concept of empowerment. The language of them, to me, not my fault, I don’t know – is common ground at this level of perception of the world. As an adult we are still blaming our parents, as a person one is afraid of or vocally against authority figures. Think early religion, fear, ancient times. Ruled by emotions.

BY: At this stage one is beginning to open to the dark side of EGO, and yet it is still energetically healthier than the previous level of TO, for one has shifted from outside ones self to the interior mode. The BY stage is the where the individual believes THEY are fully & ONLY responsible for what they accomplished. I did this, I did that, I, I, I. This is all about ego.mind, without any concepts of Higher Power, being part of the whole, connection. This stage can be extremely defiant, in not wanting any outside support, not looking at any other ways, perceptions or opportunities, listening to ideas, recognition of innate relating/relationship, etc.  Everything is personal.

THROUGH: God is working THROUGH me. Prayer begins to enter, the idea of connection, I can do this FOR you. On the spiritual path, many stay in this space for lifetimes. This is the time one takes workshops, classes, schooling, and their book shelves are over-flowing. The ego can be very full of itself as one still sees them-self as separate, as fully human, as an individual. Reacting emotionally is less. We begin to practice CHOICE. Unconditional love is brought into the mind set.  Taking other peoples speech personally is less & less. 

AS: At this time, we are in full recognition that we were created of God energy, made in Its image and likeness, we are awake to our innate Divine connection as One – no matter any human characteristics. The ego has died, it is no longer resonate. Fear does not exist here. All stories have been healed. Divine Consciousness is Sourced. No longer is there a frequency of you & I; there is only God. At this point of understanding we are embodying all we have desired of Love. To embody is to MERGE in Oneness. Any perceptions of personal no longer exist. One is no longer responsible for anyone else’s emotions, reactions or choices. One knows another as they know Self.   One loves all. Grace is the flow. At this stage, when one is still in human form;joy is the way, faith is the nurturer, love is the only answer. One has experienced that Love is what allows, welcomes, creates space for God to be Present. One knows beyond a breath of doubt that surrender of the idea of I is the answer to life. 

Yes, so much more can be discussed, yet this, when contemplated, may be just enough.

Shared with love, Deborah

head shot looking down

a mothers day commentary


A Facebook friend sent this to my personal page yesterday – and I deeply appreciate it. I know I am a day short for this commentary, but i was simply too filled up yesterday to write. There is a facet of me which takes offense to commercialized hallmark holidays, yet due to societies ingrained expectations, I too wait for my child’s phone call and/or Mothers Day recognition. My dislike of commercial holidays due to pretense, obligations and fake recognition’s – not to mention the living pain of strained relationships in each mirror of the successful, happy healthy ones – well, it can be overwhelming. I am a believer – make each day the best, remember loved ones each day, treat one another with divine recognition each day, recognize love each day, forgive each day. Hallmark or a calendar should not be ones (only) compass.

Yesterday I had continual heart-whiffs of folks who have strained, painful, sad, burdened relationships as a mother and/or as a child. My empathy radar goes on high gear, when FB, as a mirror of society is gleaming with positive holiday comments, nursing homes are over run with once a year visitors and restaurants are filled with reservations in order to wipe away guilt.  

We cannot ignore all of it. It is all part of the mix of human relationship. The mother / child who has a long term loving, healthy, respectful, sustained love through the ages, a caring relationship – as well as the adult child who was abused by their mother, still struggling to find a nurtured heart in the midst of such devastation. 

Personally, I do know that we are able to overcome, or rather move through, grow, forgive, and even appreciate the childhood we had with a mother who was less than Hallmark perfect.  A great facet of forgiving another is not agreeing or approving with their treatment, but to allow space for their humanness, off the podium & expectations they are ‘in title’ associated with; even mother. I know that from the outside it is easy to see my own parents imperfections, faults, etc. – yet each experience of being their daughter has made me who I am today – and for that I am deeply grateful. I like me. It really has been that simplified for me. In liking me I no longer harbor the space to carry the wounds of what one may call a dysfunctional upbringing. I only carry gratitude. My mothers lack perfection mothering skills taught me at a very young age that seeking outside validation in alcohol, prescription drugs or money was not an answer. Her own lack of self worth directed me to go within. Her own wounds were a selfless service to my empowerment and spiritual life. How much I am grateful, how much I am thankful, how deeply I love her now, is beyond measure.

Yesterday I felt my heart recognizing clients and even peers I know who were physically abused by their mothers. The nurturer did not nurture, the carer did not care, the one who was to embrace, protect, and be one’s greatest cheerleader could barely get up each day – due to their own pain, their own upbringing, their own family cycle of wounds. This is a journey of  being forced to learn outside validation is passing – interior, self love, self approval, faith in a higher power is the only path to healing such cracks of pain. 

My heart hurts for the mothers who truly did the very best they were able, and children who fail to see them. My heart aches for mothers who do not have the relationship they yearn for with their children, for the human mixture has forged a different road. My heartaches for those who love conditionally – and allow predetermined expectations to set the path for ones most intimate relationships.

We EACH must do our own work, seek our own healing path in order to not repeat family wounds constructed of history and un-forgiveness. The path of FAITH helps us to find ways to heal our own hearts before we can love without exceptions, love unconditionally and allow room for another person, no matter their relationship to us, their humanness. 

Mothering comes in many forms – and can come from those who are not our biological parent. Being a mother has been and is my greatest love in human form. As a woman, the love I feel for my son, an only child, is beyond humanness – it is the gift to be ones greatest cheerleader, to see his spark before he could share it with the world, to always know his heart, to want so, so, so very much good, joy & all that life has to offer for another human being it can make me burst with effort! I know I am blessed to be his mother, each day I express gratitude for being able to feel this depth of love and soul connection with another being. I also have been given the gift of mothering others, of guiding in a motherly fashion, of filling a void – and I know it is not the same, yet I also know from my own experience, it is deeply appreciated. 

Whatever your mothering story, may you each day find ways to celebrate & feel good about who YOU are in this life……and to allow forgiveness, integrity and unconditional love to be your compass. 

I send you love, Deborah
Ben @ 2

My 6’4″, 41 year old son @ the age of two!




Eliese Daniels Marquette Evans  July 12, 1918 - April 13, 1997

My mother, Eliese, 1918 – 1997.   

1973 – Below, me reading my son his first book, home from hospital.

ben's first book

Co-Worker for GOD


As I was with clients yesterday I heard Jesus say to me: “Some saw me on the road to Damascus….and some did not.” 

As a healer, counselor, minister – it does weigh on my heart when I cannot find the connector for others to hear me, to feel the hands of healing on their bodies, to know in faith that God is here for them!  Sometimes I think of the one liner, “you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink.” Then, I often have heard commercially famous teachers expound on how not everyone is going to “get it”….and this past week I was at an Abraham-Hicks workshop when Esther/Abraham spoke of not everyone hearing, or getting it..(not exact words, but essence of). This thinking fires me up. 

I realize people have resistance – and I believe in and teach CHOICE……..BUT, I also believe that Gods POWER & PRESENCE is the ALL and that when the energy is pure, clear and present – no amount of resistance can battle it, all unlike it falls away in ITS Presence. I absolutely know the power & presence of God energy will heal anything. This may be through prayer, a healer, a moment when one hears just the right words for them to have the experience of all resistance, like a brick wall, crumble! 

Resistance is energy of ego/mind, staid and firm in its frequency of NO, I will NOT surrender! AND when one is fully aligned with pure unconditional love, in deep faith that all is possible with God – it has no power.

When I was a little girl I could not get enough of faith healers on the television. Should have been a clear sign, indeed, of my future journey ! 

We each have all these thoughts, which become ideas and beliefs which prevent us from surrender. It is our choice to believe them. It is our choice to be co workers for God, or not. For whatever reason, God needs us here – and the universe appears to be designed in such a way that unless we take up the sword to be an active co-worker of Gods, resistance remains.

We need each other, and we each need to surrender and know God, the ultimate power & presence of life. What does it look like to be a coworker for and of God? We are united in our faith in the higher power of creation. For me, it means no matter what anyone tells me about their story/resistance, I hold fast that God is at hand…and has the upper hand! This means to me, that I hold the vibration, the frequency of knowing God is healing you……even if my human mind cannot see it right now. It means a client can tell me lie after lie against their True Identity – and I will listen with an open heart grounded in faith, that their word has no power here in THIS room, where we are, in that moment. It means I am determined to hold the purest vibration possible, in order for YOU to let go, and let God. 

Thank you for reading, I needed to put these thoughts to paper!

I send you love, Deborah

head shot looking down