TURNING AROUND

I love that I know when I am off track. I know this by how I feel. When I feel sad, yucky, ill…….I know I  can change that. 

Yesterday, I allowed myself to get distracted. I talk a lot about distractions with my beloveds. And yesterday, I got the opportunity to turn that teaching on myself, in a significant and conscious way.

I fell onto the gerbil wheel (with great speed I may admit!) with a news event. I do not watch nor listen to news, but, FB does offer us highlights now and then…and all I had was one sentence placed in front of me, I read it…..and down the rabbit hole I went. It gained momentum faster than ones mind can imagine. I mean truly, I was on the wheel…….and my thoughts and comments and writing about it too …….built it up, built up and built it up! 

So, what the wisdom of my True Identity did for me, was I felt sick. I felt tired. I had no energy. I started eating, stuffing these emotions which I had circulating about the stories attached to this ONE SENTENCE. 

Finally, my smart genes sparked up (Thank God) and I thought, why do I suddenly feel lousy? I never feel lousy…what have I created within my energy field that is causing me to FEEL this way? Where did I go? 

Oh, yup….that. I wrote a blog about it. I reacted to other FB comments about it. I mentioned it to my husband. OOOOOpppps. Against all that I know I AM.

I deleted the post. I felt my vibration instantly raise. My emotions were happier, better, increased to that which I know.

How great to have a moment to absolutely know what I preach about works. I know my beliefs & teachings work when we want to manifest anything in our lives. I know that, I see it constantly. And now, I know, our ability to pause, to think why, to shift direction no matter how terrible we are feeling about something we see…………………yes, it works.

Thank you God.

with love, Rev Deb

If this interests you, be sure to turn to Abraham Hicks on youtube and LISTEN. 

 

 

 

I deleted this post. I felt quite ill since i wrote it and realized I was engaging with just what I do not want. More to come another day. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WHAT TICKLES YOUR FANCY?

This phrase from the 1700’s entered my mind a few weeks ago – and is still mulling around.  At this time of so much seriousness, (I mean this…..a lot, a lot of deep, wide, thick, dense seriousness) – so much extreme concern going on weather you are part of day to day 3d linear living or attempting to get your head wrapped around the path of ascension & meditate each day; most of us are in ‘serious mode’. The energy is heavy.  People are generally worried, afraid, concerned. The idea of ‘lightness’ has gone astray.

As I considered what I see as a cannot be ignored foreboding state of seriousness, I heard, “Deborah, what tickles your fancy” ? First I wondered, has any other person even heard this term? Am I truly a dinosaur on this planet? (I still use cloth napkins and have been kidded about that!)  As a phrase, it is quite ‘old fashioned’ – and with words which loose their place in society being removed from updated dictionary’s daily – I wondered; can this term even be discussed? As I offered it to clients/students I realized, I first had to define it for them. (The reactionary quizzical, concerned, deeply serious expression on their faces was the give away.)

So, what tickles your fancy, do you do anything which tickles your fancy?

Huh?

We seem to have reached a time in our civilization that when we do anything, we do it only for the sake of an outcome.  And, not just ANY outcome – but one which will benefit humanity, or get our one year old in the very best pre-school,  or make us more beautiful, or prevent disease, or put green in our colon, or help pass a bill, or impeach a politician, or raise money for this or that, or free this or that, or prevent dissolution of this or that, or help benefit the world in some very real and sincere manner – either our individual lives, our families or globally. There is also the meditating, certifications, schooling, self improvement, yoga, retreating, massaging….. Lots and lots and lots of ways for new & improved us. Let us not forget all the testing to see how smart we are and how far we can go and what our aptitudes are and how great we can be or what missing pieces need work. Then of course we can march against something, or for something or raise money for something; if we have a day off, while we are working three jobs, 16 hour days in order to pay for all the stuff we think we require or the one week vacation we might end up being too tired to enjoy.  Yes, mostly, each an understandable and easy to make it sound an immensely valuable and respectable topic. Yes, mostly very important linear stuff.

For me, I truly believe, doing something just to tickle ones fancy has gotten lost in the fanfare of reacting to life – and like Mr. Timberlake, I want to bring it back…..no, not sexy, (there is way too much of that)…but tickling ones fancy. Doing something for absolutely NO reason at all except it gives you heart felt pleasure, a feeling of preciousness, a moment of blatant non reactionary ‘just cuz’.

The funny thing about seeking the tickling of ones fancy is that it is not done because it will bring us ANYTHING –  and it can bring us everything.

This is NOT going out to dinner because one is tired, or getting a massage because it feels good, or meditating to quell ones mind, or ANYTHING with ANY intention other than; it tickles ones fancy. 

Why did you do that? I like it. The end.

It is not earth shattering.

The other afternoon I invited my husband to go for a drive. I wanted to get to a favorite spot of mine. It’s a view. Just a view. As we drove up to it, the hills came into our sight, i slowed down; we looked. We did not stop, we did not get out, we did not take pictures, we did not DO anything about it; except for a moment, I welcomed and allowed that moment in my day, seeing the hills, a distant mountain range, the light of dusk, fields of dried corn, a turned over pumpkin patch to tickle my fancy. For perhaps ten or fifteen seconds my being-ness felt extremely full and fed and internally alive. And then we drove down the hill and came home.

I love doing things simply because they tickle my fancy. I go to a specific store because it feels better than going to the one closer to me because being in it or the owner or the options or the desk clerk; tickles my fancy.

I stand outside and stop, feel the wind in my face, on my skin; because it tickles my fancy.

Why did you buy that? What is its purpose?

None, except it tickles my fancy.

 

Let’s face it, we are each very driven with doing something for the betterment of something else. We place great value on improving ourselves, the world or others.

So, to re-cap: What is does it mean, to tickle your fancy?

• doing something that has absolutely no obvious value or means to improve any linear situation except that for an almost unmentionable moment in time – it feels good to you. 

 

And in doing so, it changes everything, lightens everything, ‘alives’ everything; for you.

And, as we know, that does help to shift the dense energy of humanity – one tickle at a time.

with love, Rev Deb

 

 

a life of thanks & giving

I wish people treated each day like it was Thanksgiving. Think of it; finding things to be in gratitude for, cooking for others, spending time with family & friends, feeding the hungry, going to parades, anticipation of Christmas…and my personal favorite; strangers being nice, thoughtful & pleasant to one another in public……letting people go ahead of you inline, allowing others to cut in front of you on the street, stopping with a wave for others to cross walk in front of your car, chatting it up in the line at the post office…..  and those random conversations over the squash in the grocery store, (LOVE those), the hello to your neighbor you have not spoken with in months when you run into them waiting in line for pies, wine or gluten free anything for your sons new girlfriend. All really good stuff for the healing of humanity.

I wish people opened their hearts each day to to others. I wish we all would seek reasons to be kind, rather than short fused. I wish we recognized strangers each day, as easily as we do during the ‘holidays’. I wish we would allow ourselves to STOP, without having to have a national holiday to give us the excuse to. 

What would it take for everyone to realize our precious lives are sacred, that every single day is a day to give thanks? What would it take for folks to stop the crazy, self absorbed mentality and look out for one another all the time?

I appreciate the holidays because they do bring out our best and give us many opportunities to share; materially & emotionally & spiritually. 

We are at our best when we nurture each other, no doubt about it. We are at our best when we share our good stuff. We are at our best when we recognize we are here together, not against. 

Give each day your best. Whatever that is, how ever it looks; an ear to listen, an overdue phone call, a hello, stopping your car and letting the other guy go first, offering a meal when you know another is alone. We always feel better when we get out of our own way – and offer another a way through.

with love & thanks,

Rev Deb

www.amethystlight.org

 

This was my pop up from 2015 that appeared on my FB page this morning, thought i would share on another venue.

Every single day I discover more and more how I do not know – and how I honestly do NOT understand anything. Nothing at all. (a very freeing concept!) Then I meet another heart who has the same perspective I do, and i no longer feel crazed or physically alone. Life; along the way we egotistically think we discover answers as a whole – but we simply reveal what feels good, right and freeing for own individual selves. ….and we may offer it to another with an over flowing, true heart – but it simply may not be so for another. This does not make it wrong, or bad. It is. In the past few years i have come to see …or what i feel is for me; clarity. Clarity of how each and every single heart HAS to find their own way home to themselves, and that when that is done; we live from THAT place, THAT spot, in all we do, in every single, every day, small, teeny, tiny, huge and in the middle action, thought or word we share……..and mostly in our being. When i came to realize i cannot possibly understand you, for ALL is relative (TY Einstein.), i was then able to let go of trying. When we let go of trying the ego is dissolved from lack of feeding. It is a scrumptious, difficult, incredible cycle of release. When we are then able to be in a state of emptiness, we open to all that is – all exists, but ones banquet table of choice is only filled with love and an open heart…….so much can come through an empty container, think of it. (as in voices which sing like the heavens, art which makes you cry upon the sight of it, when you witness one who channels such purity of spirit….your senses are on fire, when a color brings you to your joy, when one perfect line is delivered……)…….these, these only make sense to me. BUT, things i will never understand – well, now i laugh at the thought of them, or smirk when i hear them, or silently bless the heart which speaks of them………i still find myself wanting to make comments in a grandiose style……but that idea instantly makes my belly nauseous – a very good sign to not. Life can be struggling, with all the different energies of all that is existing, and now with the crystalline energies taking front and center – ALWAYS,(from my perspective) it has historically been true that the brighter the Light, the more dark and louder the fears become; the more open the heart – the more painful it is for the one shut off from their own center – these times, (and there will be more) – ask us to know what is true for our selves, and hold on to that. What are you going to choose to hold onto? I choose to hold onto love and loving, and (my) faith that we each are finding our way home to Love, that there DOES exist a grand plan by the Divine Architect / Creator , and that in every moment/response I get to choose my next moment/response……..which leads me to another, and another, and another. I choose to live that we/I am never alone, that life is eternal, that love works. I love you. May the Light which is Love fill all broken hearts and mend each wounded soul.

What Do You Know?

In my daily listening & learning & connecting with Abraham-Hicks via YouTube, this line was spoken: “You cannot interact beyond the belief systems you already hold.”

Yup.

I had ended yesterday & begun the day in the midst of frustrating conversation with my beloved husband. Communication was not smooth, nor in my eyes, being reached. How can we have been together all these years and still……..head vs. heart, linear vs. spacial exists. Uncomfortable for us both. Rightly so.

Then, this line sunk into my brain……and then my heart. So, in this frustration, I asked, what are my beliefs around this situation? Is it possible for me to shift; in any way shape or thought? Can we bridge this cavern of  disconnection? Then, I went directly to the beast; different belief systems. That is true for us.

My next thought was what do I? What do I/we not know? What can I ask? What else can be discovered in this jumble of decision-making?

The belief system was intuition vs. facts. The decision has to do with manual labor to our physical home; but, I have done a lot of this, this redoing of home, gutting houses, this hiring of contractors…….and I know one thing for absolutely sure – I know when I know. So, this tells me, my ambivalence lets me know; I do not know yet. I am not yet aligned with what we thought was our decision.

I found a way to relate this to my patient husband. I will gather more information and get back to him. Okay.

I could blame all this on the 11/11 gateway – or my planets, but it was more grounded than that – and as I asked how can this cavern between us be fixed? , I was given an answer. After this above sentence of varied beliefs was stated by Abraham, Esther went on to talk about how when one is really, really close to being aligned with their vortex….(as I have felt and have seen daily effects of, which made this conflict with my husband even MORE blatant)……..very often resistance with our closest person will raise its head Abraham stated (BINGO!)……..simply responding to the Law. Okay then.

I really, really love that when we ask AND IT IS given! ( So fast these days!)

This brilliant one sentence teaching says SO many things; one has to shift ones belief for communion to take place between two different minds and hearts. If one is a counselor, teacher or other; it is easy for us experience ones to immediately see……no, this heart is not yet quite ready to let go of what he thinks he/she knows. So important to our healing of all large &  minute specks of ‘somethingness’s’……. are you ready to let go of all you think you know ? Could it be a possibility to even consider thinking about that strong belief you hold in a different way? Are you willing to consider it? Not, to make you wrong…..but to help you simply FEEL better.

The ego / mind loves holding  on and being ‘right’, proving a ‘fact’.  The heart wants communion & connection.

“You cannot interact beyond the belief systems you already hold.” – Abraham-Hicks.

Shared with love-

Deborah

www.amethystlight.org

 

 

 

ARE YOU PUTTING SPIRIT FIRST?

I consider myself a spiritual simpleton. When speaking with piers who are much more intellectual than I about our journeys, and they grow quiet after several minutes of intense verbal banter about what is happening in our world, considering if it is ending, or how the darkness is this or that, and whatever other ideas and mind thoughts that are placed in our world to stimulate our heads to consider another convoluted yet logical attempt at understanding ascension, awakening, madness, insanity or self realization; I am the one with the needle and I pop the bubble………….”I believe it is all the same thing, we are just going from the head to the heart, from ego to love.”  And my brilliant thinking friend with a mind that rarely stops lets out her loud, big, gregarious beautiful laugh – I am not sure at me or herself, but it sounds wonderful.  

I see that no matter who we are, no matter what is happening in our personal lives, or as a collective in these United States or this northern Hemisphere or as part of this Global society or as a minute  speck of this infinite universe; all that matters in ANY now moment is; are YOU being kind and unconditionally loving. Are you putting Spirit first? 

Okay Deborah, sounds good, what does that look like? 

Simply put, God is Good. REAL Good. Really nice, really kind, really tolerant, really loving, really unconditional, absolutely non judging, and some days, I think the best sense of humor in the universe, and why not, the Creator created humor!  God created us. Our True Identity is of the Creator.  (Do you have facts to support that premise Deborah. Why yes, I do, my own and my clients experiences.) There are SO many beliefs, so many ways and avenues to justify our lives, we each seek to find sense in what may appear as a senseless world. We do this through religion, study, chosen communities, careers, think tanks, life styles; we do this through our choices. Free will. 

And then, our minds begin to go on overload, working overtime, and our human ego begins to think it knows what is wrong, what is right, what is needed. We think we have to find a concrete external answer. The mind loves this. The ego mind thrives on thinking, on concrete answers, on finding out why, how and what to do.  

How do you show up differently if the only question you ever contemplate is: what would love do here? How do I be and express in a loving manner right now, in this very moment in time, in this situation? 

In my simplicity, my focus is not what anyone else is doing, but how can I show up here? How can I show up in this day, in this conversation, in this moment? How do I express my True Identity, right now? My faith has shown me, that as I look with in, as I realize my True Identity; I feel the loving options available to me, in any moment. 

The gerbil wheel is the original fun house ride. The practice is ignoring the mind, turning it off, not feeding it, not engaging; and choose to express in all that I am able to in that one breath, and then the next and the next. 

How does this look? It looks quiet, it looks like one who does not engage in most conversations and many days none. It looks like one who is always seeking what is rumored to be the highest perspective. It looks like one who refuses to engage in negative thought, thinking and conversation.  In a recent social setting someone responded to my response of  ‘good is here too, i have to maintain that a blessing will be seen in this situation’ ; to me and said; ‘oh, you are a glass is half full type of person.’

Okay. 

I get lost in labels. Just the mention of a box puts my belly in a twist. But, I understand the mind needs them to attempt to make sense. Yet, I do not speak that language. It makes for very little dialogue, the need for examples, for boxes, for explanations.  That is how it looks.

It also looks peaceful, calm, loving, kind, joyous, tolerant, strong, and to those who need the box, very airy fairy and out of this world; but then, those are only labels. 

Spirit has no label. Even God is a label for the undeniable yet palpable presence we seek. 

So, in asking if you put Spirit first, am i really asking, are putting no label first? hmmmmmm…………interesting.

 

Shared in love,

Rev. Deborah Evans Hogan

www.amethystlight.org

 

RELATIONSHIP SHIFTING

Many people are stating concerns and amazement at all the relationship changing in their lives. On our human level it can be quite painful, holding on with attachment and the need to fix or make better, not to mention the emotions of avoidance, grief, shame, guilt, less than, and too many others to list. On a spiritual level; one is able to let go, bless, love and leave it be. Yet in any relationship shift, in order to move forward, to gracefully allow all cords to sever through ease, there has to be a clear intentional point of; let go and let God.

Why so many? Why have so many people ‘lost’ so many friendships recently, had family members ignore them, need to walk away from long term friendships, experience unexpected goodbyes, awkward and out of the blue arguments and those weird and humanly unexplained verbal ‘attacks’ from loved ones?

Energy.

As you grow, evolve and change your beliefs – your energy shifts, you let go of old ways, your presence changes, even if you have not cut a hair on your head and wear the same clothes every day – your ENERGY changes with each new thought & belief. When your energy changes you are perceived differently and you SEE differently. When you have contemplated new ideas, meditate more, mature; your energy changes – old thoughts no longer exist, new ideas are filling you up; your ENERGY changes. This causes shifts on every single level of your being.  This causes shifts on how others relate to you and how you relate to others.

People who lack faith and/or do not like change will find this experience every uncomfortable.

Perhaps you have been one way your entire life; then, you have a spiritual awakening. Instead of being in fear, you are now seeing from pure love. How can you expect things NOT to change? You are, as I say, changing the rules in the middle of the game (relationship)…..and each person you are in relationship with is not going to go along with the new rules…..and why should they, they are YOUR new ways of being, not theirs.

During this time of such great relationship changing, I often remember a scene from the movie “My Name is Bill W.” This movie is about the founder of Alcoholics Anonymous; Bill Wilson. As he gets sober, his wife and he have a scene of how she does not like who he has become, she does not know how to relate to him anymore. She is furious, afraid and does not want him to get sober. It is an all out fight. Excellent scene. So, so, so true.

Think of this; you and your childhood friend grow apart in going to different colleges, you each go in opposite directions. One day you meet on the street and your friend is now a nun, or a priest or homeless or a politician. You will wonder how to relate, and  ponder even if you want to.

The exterior changes are easier to handle, make sense of,  than the internal changes we are experiencing now. It is an expected facet of our human lives to see our friends change; as they marry, study varied interests, divorce, move from the city to the country, become single, have children. There is a part of us that can be happy for them. Internal changes express differently. Some folks can have all the human changes but remain the same internal person. Others, can have no external changes; but internally are made new. Energy. (Yes, eventually external changes will come from the internal shifts.)

During the journey of going from the head to the heart, from the ego to love, what one sometimes calls the ascension process; our internal awareness of Spirit changes EVERYTHING. We will no longer tolerate certain attitudes, lack of integrity, lying, deceit, fear, addictions….we will be able to hold boundaries in a brand new way.  This does not mean one will no longer love another, but it does mean, one will consciously choose who we wish to share time with, choose conversations, choose how we engage with the world.

This process is not easy. This journey can be humanly lonely. This experience gifts us with the knowledge of letting go without blame; simply, “it is”.  As we practice coming from a deeper understanding of nothing is wrong, each person can choose how they wish to show up, ‘I care more about how I am feeling than paying attention to negative and lack expressions’;  relationships will definitely change.

The same is true from the other perspective;  relating is two way.  We may find, as we shift into realizing what we engage with in conversation becomes a part of our energy field, we choose to no longer talk or feed about certain subjects in the same way we once did – BUT our family is use to the old us!  That is painful and confusing for the ones who count on the old you. One expression of this is a previous loved one CANNOT SEE YOU. There perception of life has not changed, so they are literately unable to SEE YOU. I have come to find this humorous. My brother was talking about his new female friend and he told her I was an artist. She had asked what I did. I do paint, but I make my living as a healer, a minister, a spiritual guide & teacher. He does not see that. Nothing is wrong, just is. 

I consciously (unconsciously 1973) began my spiritual path & awakening in 1992. The first five years were filled with many different teachers and experiences. Beginning in 1997, I started making intentional (and tough) choices about how I wanted to show up in this life, how I wanted to be, what I believed in and I was determined to walk my talk. Boy, ‘relationships changed’ is an understatement.

To this day, in 2017, my relationships continue to shift. People have let go of me, and I of them. For me, I still deeply love them. I still hold them in my heart, want only happiness for them. I still care about them. BUT, our energies have shifted to such a degree that the cords which once bonded us no longer exist. There is nothing to fix. There is  nothing wrong. I am very fortunate to have two friends with whom this has happened, who were evolved enough to be part of the unwinding without cruelty. I still miss having them in my life, BUT we are no longer energetically connected. Let go and let God.

Like many others I have heard from, I was once verbally attacked by a family member.  It was radically unexpected, with such fierce, loud and brutal language; I was totally caught off guard; BUT, I was able to not retaliate, to remove myself in a loving manner from the room and leave their home. I was certainly shaken, and at the same time, I felt confidant in my chosen response. And, the attack changed everything. 

We did not speak for quite a while, a few months, and a letter came from them accusing me of being in a sensitive position that day and wondering why I came to their home in such a way. It was just too interesting. We saw two entirely different stories. He had gone on and on about illness, I made one comment about how we differ in our viewpoints about health and he lit into me about not wanting to talk about Jesus. (Even though I am minister, Jesus had never been a conversation for us.) It was if something else got hold of him and all his rage he ever felt in his entire life poured onto me into the smallness of his kitchen. I came to the point that this was not my business. We spoke on the phone several months latter, and the vast crevice of who we each are has been made more palpable. I love him, I miss us, and we have very little to share. Conversations are rare, for I am not political, I believe in abundance, I love love. We are different, that is it. No one right, wrong, better or more good. But, different. 

I have learned that our family are relatives, not necessarily family. Birth/blood family guarantees opportunities for growth, and not necessarily friendships. For me personally, I thank Spirit for each of my blood family, for they have given me so many opportunities to show up in more love and integrity than I ever knew I had in me. They have taught me patience and how to love unconditionally, how to walk away, how to be unattached, how to hold to space, how to seek where I do belong, where I do feel good about myself. Again, not easy. We are not part of each others holidays, I am not welcomed, I am not included; this is as much about my choices as theirs. Nothing is wrong.  Just different.  It is spiritually logical, and it is lonely.  

As we change our internal energy, our compass, our substance we stand upon changes. We find ourselves outside the former circle. Nothing is wrong.

What I can tell you is, finally, I am clear enough to be finding and meeting more of my soul group. More authentic, kind, loving, fearless and honest souls. Thank you God. And, because I am able to see through veils and communicate with the life force in all things, my friends and loved ones are now more than people and many are in non 3d form; yet, I feel and know I am loved beyond measure and now, I am never alone.

Shared with love,

    Deborah Evans Hogan

www.amethystlight.org