death; from my perception
death & dying, one of my favorite subjects to share about. i find there is no more intimate space & time in our humanness than to be with another, when they are leaving their body and going home. in the midst of when many are fearful, i am most at home, with my heart wide open, over flowing with love and my joy for another at its height. let me tell you why.
- combining all my experiences i have had in this realm and others concerning dying, i know their is none. the body does turn to ash, but our being-ness, our souls, our isness; is eternal.
- i have witnessed souls leave their physical containers. for me, they appear as a grey mass of energy.
- i have witnessed the final breath of many, taken AFTER the soul exits the body, as it is the final mechanical bodily response.
- i have sat with bodies post ‘death’, and when you do this, you KNOW the person who you knew is no longer present, even though their body is.
- i know from my own experience, there is an ‘other side’, an ‘other realm’, a ‘heaven’.
- i have had and continue to have conversations, sightings and messages from those who have ‘died’. for me, this can be part of my everyday – their is no veil between realities.
one of my most joyful sharing moments is to help to educate others, so the fear stigma of a loved one dying is removed from their belief system as well as what i call – ‘dying etiquette’.
on the top of my dying etiquette list is, when you are visiting a loved one who is leaving their body, making their transition, PLEASE know, they can hear every word you say in their presence.
- do not speak as if they are not in the room.
- do not use harsh language or tell negative stories.
- do not ignore them.
- do not speak loudly.
- do not argue.
- do not whisper secretly in the corner of their room.
- be the most respectful you have ever been in your entire life.
i believe being with a loved one at the time of their transition is a sacred and holy event. if you are fortunate enough to be part of ones inner circle, know this is for THEM. your relationship has eternally connected you together and you are here to support them in the purest love possible.
no fear in the room, the house or other. do not bring your fear. our souls know no fear. how many times have you heard; ‘she died the one hour i left to go home to shower! i had been their every night & day for a week, and i MISSED it!’ No, you did not miss it, it was however, the only time the soul had that was a present and most loving state in the room so it could exit the body.
the dying process is the soul separating from the ego. the ego loves fear. when one is with another who is leaving their body, and the guest is afraid for them, or does not want them to die, or thinks this experience is a bad thing, or going on and on in a morbid way about how much they will miss them; these emotions and feelings make it easier for the ego to stay and most difficult for the soul to detach.
dying, leaving ones body, is a very similar experience for the soul as being born is. as the human gestation period is nine months, there also can be a gestation period for one to make their transition to the other realm. very often we will see this in the elderly, or one with a lengthy illness, or one under hospice care. a pregnant woman will know when their baby’s soul is present, they FEEL it…then one day, they do not feel anything at all. when one does not feel a connection to their child, the soul is traveling, going home, then it drops back in the human form developing…..’getting use to things’. the same is true when we ‘die’. our souls leave for while, we may sleep for many hours, or be in a non communicative state – our soul, that which we are, is traveling home, then, it will come back and literally drop in. have you ever sat with a ‘dying’ beloved and witnessed the jerking awakening? the soul literally drops back in. the slow long deaths which those who are left behind here on earth may call painful and terrible to see; are actually very nice for the soul. it gives our true essence time to get use to the transition from being in human form.
that being said, when there is a sudden death, or self inflicted death, or arduous dying process or we have lived a very angry and unloving (unable to give or receive) life; we first spend time in what i call a hospital for the soul, before making our complete transition home. at this time, we are surrounded by our non-physical beloveds, who support our full healing process to remembering our innate divinity.
you will also see, if you are able to witness, one transitions home as they lived here on earth:
- i have witnessed the man who only wanted to help others, who lived a life out of joy of loving life, not out of fear, who appeared in perfect health, have a surprise aneurysm on his front porch one morning. one moment here, one moment home.
- i have witnessed many fearful people have difficulty leaving their bodies. understandable, with no comprehension of what is next, the letting go and letting God concept is foreign to them.
- i have witnessed a very fearful elderly person take years of different illnesses, in and out of hospitals. we finally had the chance to talk about his fears, he left shortly afterwards.
- i have witnessed people who lived lives of abuse of others, die in what many would call a tragic death.
- i have witnessed very controlling people have challenging processes, not able to let go.
at a point, the soul wants to leave the body. but this is never out of fear – it is always out of love.
it is very important to have open talks with your spouses or loved ones concerning your wishes.
it is best to not have too many people around. if dying at home, a home filled with love and ordinary day to day action, but not too many people in the room at one time.
create an atmosphere of peace. perhaps music they loved. no tv, like too many people in the room, it is distracting and confusing. remember, during a dying process a person is hypersensitive. you will find touching them may be uncomfortable for them. (very often the soul is trying to leave and one holds a hand and it pulls the soul back in) do not feel like someone has to be with them every moment. it is okay. they have hard work to do, dying takes a lot of energy.
their animals will want to be with them.
i was with a beloved at her dying process. her son sat on one side of her bed, i the other. i asked her why she still had her glasses still on, “Deborah, i don’t want to miss anything.”
it is my most loving intention this writing will reach those who can feel supported by these words.
i love you, RevDeb
Healer, Master Energy Practitioner, Teacher & Member of the Clergy
Youtube: Deborah Evans Hogan of the ALM
The Amethyst Light Ministry can be found on FB too.