the inactive action
growth is an underlying constant. it is at all times in motion; either emotionally, physically or spiritually and usually, all at once. our bodies are always changing – letting go of old cells, increasing or decreasing in height, weight, muscle mass, fat, hair, aging, maturing, organs shifting, blood moving, breath breathing & pulsing us. for most of us, our emotions are consistently shifting from happy to sad, from fear to feeling safe, from highs to lows, from anger to loving, from this to that. spiritually, we are consistently evolving through our physical and emotional experiences; either consciously or not. another words, we are at all times allowing and welcoming love to change us or we are putting up road blocks to accepting love. in any case – change happens.
as we increase our spiritual muscle, we begin to observe our own external offerings; how we speak to others, how it sounds, what we actually said (sometimes an incredible shocker) – basically, how we present. this increases to being not a consciously intentionally observed practice, into an unexpected experience, as if God says; here, watch this movie ….see, can you hear the words you spoke……when honored, can be humanly humiliating, in a most raw and honest sense. one is hearing the words they spoke to another person, hearing them as they were actually stated, feeling them as they were received. this is said to be part of the life review when we pass from our physical instruments, yet it is possible, given ones spiritual awareness, to experience it in body as well.
being present to ones own expression just may be the most humbling teaching i have ever experienced; yet. self love, patience and most of all, kindness is demanded to get through it. and silence. silence of the mouth, the inactive action, as one sits with the comments which caused them to see their own wounds, evidently STILL pressing internal buttons, and causing one to speak thoughts which carry wounded overtones. at this stage, may have been hardly noticed to anyone else outside your very own internal Isness.
at this time of awareness, one not only is watching themselves, but hearing and feeling the words, the choice to speak them and the core reason why they spoke them. they may appear perfectly loving, they may, on the surface, seem even appropriate; but our reason for speaking them is the awakening piece; did it come from (my) unconditional love for the Divine or from my humanhood? – we learn to be with this humbling contemplation, broken open in places we never knew existed, forcing ourselves to surrender all of it. in silence. the unspoken action. do not dilute. be with it. do not discuss. bring to pure consciousness and allow all that can happen to dissolve the human construct of judgement, criticism and ill at ease; dissolve into Love.
the epitome of self care. (for now)