e-mergence (- is a phenomenon whereby larger entities arise through interactions among smaller or simpler entities such that the larger entities exhibit properties the smaller/simpler entities do not exhibit.)

Namaste;

merging. this is the theme, this is what we have been working up to. this is what we have been experiencing, energetically, at our cellular level. the effects of the merging are what we have been feeling mentally, emotionally and physically. this has taken many to feel anguish, displaying illnesses which have no medical explanation, loss of old ways of being, appearing so deeply changed families are distraught with fear, as well as, many loving, light filled beings have chosen to go home through suicide – for the staying here was simply too painful, too harsh, too exhausting. many souls have gone into caves of there own creating in order to walk through this metamorphosis; not unlike a butterfly coming from their own (self created) cocoon.

it requires an inexhaustible amount of faith in God, in good, to stay through this profound time in our existence. i truly can see, and i believe, everyone is doing the best they believe they can.

some may see this journey, as the Christ has been emerging through individuals to offer love as the collective energy.

you can describe this transformation in many different ways, in words which align with your present vibration: merging head with heart, merging higher self with lower, merging the Light with the lack, divine feminine & divine masculine, merging intellect with knowing or educated mind with intuition. no matter the description which is aligned with your own being-ness in order to gain an understanding, the outcome is the same; no more separation, duality be gone; Oneness.

presently we are in the strongest, most viable space of being vibration-ally aware that we have ever been. we are seeking full union with one another. we are requiring full disclosures and equanimity due to knowing we are equal, we are each a spark of creation. we are ‘fighting’ to live the truth; what is good for you is good for me, what harms you, harms me. we are now in a space of absolute unconditional love. being in this space means, the overlay of the universe supports this – that as we evolved, so did the cosmic overlay of the planet; it is a joint venture, one cannot do it without the other. symbiotic.

symbiotic is a necessary tool, in our individual expansion as well as the planet. communities, individuals, families, countries, civilizations; there is eternally these symbiotic relationships between expressions of light & dark. one does not become fearless and fabulous, strong and courageous, at home with self and peaceful; without being pushed, made uncomfortable, squeezed. one is not birthed without going thru a very tight and dis-pleasurable tunnel!

in our visions of Oneness, each experience is as highly appreciated as the other. each relationship is deeply appreciated for being part of the fabric of our existence. each moment is consciously appreciated. we now are able to see from, through & as our heart centers……and we have to, for nothing else feels good.

i love you – may your day be filled with peace, awareness & kindness,

deborah

 

chaos & clarity

In the midst of chaos lies our deepest and most authentic desire for clarity. We are here.

Since 1992 i have consciously let, asked and allowed my heart to direct me on this open, bumpy, curvy, transforming, blissful and agonizing path of self realization. Out of pain, fear and lack; i dedicated my heart to knowing God. It would be interesting to place every book, every teacher, retreat, church, workshop, i have turned to, each experience which helped to wake me up; all in one room, in order to be observed, witnessed and seen as a whole. I think the room would be busting at its seams! Like visiting the museum of Deborah’s soul. Kinda of fun. Yes, it may appear like a fun house of the heart; like many, many others, like yours; just varied paths and experiences; all getting us to FEEL and know. The one same thing that all those moments of awakening had in common, was a preliminary  encounter of chaos.  Physical, emotional or spiritual; but chaos, the interior awareness that this does not feel good.

Right now, in this time and space of our evolution as a whole, yet deeply and daily being undeniably reflected through my clients stories – we are most certainly at a (w)holy precipice.

There are too many places to run for support. Since December 2012, many have been aware of this ride, this journey some call of ‘ascension’.  Others have been entangled in the Mayan philosophies, or what our astrology and the stars and star guides can tell us. Others turn to popular speakers, teachers, Gurus to help them make sense of these moments which feel truly unreal, unearthly; palpable, yet have no language. I am offering you one more perception.

In my early years of connection with a UNITY Church, a simple & POWERFUL teaching was offered which i have never forgotten and turn to often. TO-BY-THROUGH-AS.

TO: Life, things, stuff is done TO me. Victim-hood. I can do nothing. I am a baby, I am helpless, no one hears me. (chaos, chaos, chaos)

BY: Life, things, experiences are done BY me. i am responsible. The ego is living large at this point, taking ALL the credit with no awareness of CREATOR. (chaos, chaos)

THROUGH: As we begin to wake up and curiosity of our Oneness with Source is enlivened, we first believe God moves through us, it is done through us, if i am this way or that way, then manifestations are seen. Yet, we are still being in a belief of separation. (chaos) In this season of awareness, we DO have the realization, we do not do this alone, yet the me has not crossed the bridge to full surrender.

AS: God as me. Me as God. God in form. Total, complete and whole Oneness.

Right now, i feel this teaching, this offering is the path we each walk; individually and collectively. I feel the seams of my being-ness popping with excitement, how this paradigm is reflected in all of life! THIS, is that walk, that long and arduous walk from the head to the heart.

We can take our human growth from birth to adulthood and lay this spiritual architectural paradigm upon it. TO – conception till 5/6 years.  BY – 5/6 till  13/15.  THROUGH – 13/15 till  40’sh. AS – 40’s onward. Now, this is the ordained perfected pathway of opportunity. Most of us get stuck along the way.  This is why we find ourselves willing to DO our individual work post 40, the calling and energy is perfected for us to receive this awakening of Oneness, of no separation. Think of all the chaos we can be presented in our 40’s; marriage, divorce, children, parents dying, job loss…etc. Earth bound life experiences. Holy Chaos.

We can look upon our societal evolution, our faith based growth and see how this path is true to each facet of lives. In the beginning, man had many Gods, one for all things, and man was a victim to their yea or nays. (TO) Then, the idea that man may have more power, more voice and the idea that the Gods would  work with us or were part of our society was introduced. The ego was very loud here, man is a God. (BY) We settled into THROUGH for a long time. Prayer became the go to  for anyone wanting God to work through their lives to manifest good, ease and grace. Churches on each corner. Sunday at its best. Visits to mediums, psychics, and others who could tell us what was happening. Through holds the energy of outside of ourselves first, and through us second.

At each of these seasons of evolution, the cosmic-ness of life energized our planet with just the perfect energies, as is our human growth energized, giving us opportunities to experience these for the exact purpose of growth, conscious development, and waking up. Chaos has always played a necessary role for those higher vibrations we want to reach, to be desired,  seen and touched.

And right now; AS. Personally, my awareness of ‘as God’ – God and i are ONE, has been a great internal challenge.  Just last fall (2016) i was critically aware of my heart yearning for no more separation, (also at this same time seeing the United States and world carrying same energies, realizing this is where we are universally) yet those i heard who stated they knew of ‘God as me’, i saw as being egoistic. ..and for me, that is where i jump ship – i cannot tolerate anyone or anything of ego. The epitome of not realizing God. My stomach churns, my heart weeps, my empathic radar is on high alert for lack of one truly and humbly being awake to Divinity.  But, yet and even more…this is my chaos and it forces me to be in silence with my knowing that i am LITERALLY no-thing without this Divine Cosmic Isness we called God. I do not exist. And I do not exist until i realize this; then i exist fully, unencumbered and in flowing grace of the I AM.

How beautiful is this life? How perfect is this dance we do? How magnificent a set up the Divine Architect created for each of his/her children to dance along this earth plane, weaving in and out, playing a game of sacred hide and seek with Love…….and then,  and now, the Cosmic Energies, ALL OF IT; from the waves of solar flames, to political disgust, to many in pain walking an ascension path to their own hearts….and EACH of us being given the perfect moments to acknowledge the Creator, the power & presence greater than i! Oh, my. Tears of joy.

The chaos right now is the Divine, as it always is saying, wake up!!!! Right now, the support we have, to go within ourselves, to seek self inquiry, to know the Divinity which we are is at the highest point of our evolution; it is the time for Divine involution. To seek our Presence which is reside at our depths and is eternal – to define what this means to us, to know the power of this presence and to say yes to IT with all of ourselves, knowing and believing and living that this Power is greater than any lack.

And this, is why myself and many others are here, to support as many souls as we are able in this journey of going from the head to the heart, from chaos to grace, from fear to love, from ego to on our knees humbleness – to know, you’ve always had the power.

Lightness aside, this is such a powerful teaching – and offers everything to say about it, to see it in everything.

Great love to you. Namaste,    Deborah

right here, right now

Within our physical bodies is all that we require. We arrive here in wholeness – yet the gifts continually unwrap as we grow along.

“All you need is already within you, only you must approach yourself with reverence and love. Self-condemnation and self-distrust are grievous errors. Your constant flight from pain and search for pleasure is a sign of love you bear for yourself, all I plead with you is this: make love of yourself perfect. Deny yourself nothing — glue yourself infinity and eternity and discover that you do not need them; you are beyond.” Nisargadatta Maharaj

We can see and feel this wholeness right now – not after we read one more book, or attain more certifications, or studies, labels, degrees or mind knowledge – but right now. This magnificent Isness called Life, this power and presence of existence many call God, this cosmic sea we each are a drop of, were created from, in the likeness of…..growing along is nothing more than becoming aware of – do not wait one more moment. Now.

Love your self free of any false claims. You are not your mind; you are precious and magnificent consciousness, residing in this vehicle of a body, experiencing life. Consciousness…….love. Love which is aligned with and carries the energies of wisdom, intelligence, zeal, joy, discernment, imagination, faith. There is a holy order to this universe, to all of it.Love is that which all good emanates from.
Many of us have witnessed the harm not feeling loved does. It truly is the only wound we witness. When one does not know they are loved, they will act out in any of hundreds of unawake manners – crying out to feel love. Abuse of all kinds, harming another or self, judging, ridiculing, yelling, shutting down, addictions, running away from life in any way shape or form in order to live the lie; i am not loved.
Precious love. Magnificent, powerful love in the most unconditional form; God. You were loved before you were born and you will be love after you leave your physical body. Look into eyes, feel the interior life of a being, love upon yourself, sit and feel the presence and power which is your true eternal self – now – and that feeling, that knowledge, that awareness of love exponentially radiates to all around you; in kindness, integrity, caring, compassion and  the understanding that; we are consciousness in this form, revealing love on earth.
with great love, deborah

Fear Blindness

Truly, fear shuts out opportunity. Our perception is fixed on seeing the world or an experience one way, a situation one way, a specific something – and all else in Gods Kingdom is outside that boundary; we miss so much. In fear we are blind to Gods abundance, love & Grace.

When we allow our minds to lead us, when we think we KNOW….how can anything else enter? We are only holding one door open, one window, a one way street – when there are thousands of other ways – but we will miss them. We are taught to think, to learn, to gain knowledge…in this society, to figure things out, to set up what we want and hold our intentions to that – is that not egoistic? Are we setting ourselves up to miss what God may have for us?

What does it take to walk openly and be with God, to see from our hearts, not our minds?

It takes practice. This is why we meditate, sit in silence, develop our personal relationship with the Supreme Beingness and Isness called Life. We are building our faith through a personal awareness of Spirit, the Consciousness which I AM. We learn to trust.

One of my favorite guideposts to offer folks who are seeking to let go of control in their lives is to clear their day, get in their car and drive. No set tasks, none at all, to no where. Go on roads you have never been. Do not ask a friend, do not meet anyone, stop to eat at a new place, get out and walk. Sit by a river – a place which is new, not familiar. No PLANS, just get in your car and drive. No GPS. No specific time you have to be home, make plans for family members; YOU – go.

To see life from ones heart, in Trust with that which is greater than i – all which you already are is revealed.

It gets more and more difficult for it to be acceptable to be present. Technology allows people to be acceptably (if not rudely) distracted.

You need to do nothing else but be in silence for a bit each day, commune with self and Self; and stay. No distraction area! All one needs one already has, one needs to simply step into it, shutting the door on the distractions; and be. Life will change from THAT space.

I promise.

with great Love, Deborah

In the Silence

Years ago i officiated a wedding in the midst of what was once a convent. The outdoor chapel, surrounded by stones placed just so and willowed arches allowed the birds voices front and center, even above the vows. Along with interior great halls of this hundred year old building, celebrated in fine mahogany woods, deep and wide walk into fireplaces and glorious still shining floors that told stories; I was deeply and divinely fed.  As the post ceremony celebration began, my heart sang as i alone stood against the winding stone wall surrounding the massive out door flagstone patio – overlooking a duck pond, sloping terrain and trees as old as my soul; hence, New England at its very best. I was imagining how i must have once lived here, in one of my previous lives as a nun, being in service, opening hearts and wounds to Gods love, sustaining the energies of grace for the community – along with 50 or so of my fellow devotees. We would have lived in silence, scrubbing the hand laid floors, preparing meals from the gardens, praying, being, singing, guiding. I was gloriously in joy of my private dreams ……..as the six foot four inch towering father of the bride appeared beside me, in his boisterous and very Irish voice; “My God, this quiet would drive me nuts, i can’t stand it…….what about you?”

Dennis Patrick Slattery, in Grace in the Desert,  touches on and then dives with humble abandonment  with all senses; into ones quest for freedom from imprisonment of our wounds. He shares his own quest, seeking silence to stop the gerbil wheel of a too busy and constantly moving lifestyle. What truly happened was his relationship with his own wounds were discovered, revealed, unearthed…..in the midst of the silence of the woods and monasteries.

He eloquently shares page after page of his heart journey. In one monastery library, where silence was prevailing, a man entered who held a transistor radio to his ear the entire time. Even in the midst of free will to enter the quiet, one  will protect ones heart with outer noise.

I have a pet peeve. Folks who say they are on retreat, but posts selfies, text and use phones and other social media gadgets to commune with the outside world.  These gadgets should not be with you; period. Leave phones in the car or back pack; available for required emergency use if you are stranded, but not to call home and create exterior connections.(Good, i have said it, i feel better!)

Until we have met our own wounds, silence is not our friend. And yet, we must be in the silence to hear them clearly, to meet them, to forgive, to love them free, to let go of the hold we allow them to grip us with. It is in the silence where we meet ourselves, our hearts, our stories, our self. It is also in the silence where we meet God, the Supreme Beingness.

I highly recommend Grace in the Desert. https://www.amazon.com/Grace-Desert-Awakening-Gifts-Monastic/dp/0787971049  Incredibly profound, written as a mystic, especially good for men, written as a memoir, awesome for those brought up in an alcoholic homes, beneficial for any devout seeker. Each sentence a quote, each page illuminating.

shared with great love,

Deborah Evans Hogan

 

 

House of Mirrors

Some moments i can see we live in a house of mirrors. Yes, like a fun house, (am i dating myself? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Funhouse  ) where each step and each turn we keep seeing  ourselves – not always presented in ways we like or appreciate, many times causing us to feel uncomfortable in our own skin.

Life is that fun house. Each day we come up ‘against’ ourselves. Each relationship, each experience, each conversation; if we seek, we can see ourselves. If we have the courage, the curiosity, the faith; we look. When we are honest, we truly see.

Many times the reflection is distorted, like around that corner where we look 400 pounds…that mirror. The reflection is rarely perfect. Perhaps we only see a tiny bit of ourselves in another, or perhaps their anger is an old facet which is still healing, or maybe the other person is reflecting our deepest fears to us, or if we are open to love; perhaps they are reflecting our heart to us?

Some days we have our dreams reflected back to us, our kindness, our caring. Some days we have our distrust, our rigidness, our lack of empathy reflected back to us.

Life is the grand house of mirrors (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_mirrors). To change the reflection, change your self.

with great love, Deborah

receptive or resistant ?

‘Your life is tailored made for your awakening…but personal perceptions of view misses the beauty….’  — Mooji Baba

‘Nothing is an obstacle but our own thinking, our own arrogance and our own stubbornness with identity…’ — and once again, dear Mooji Baba

Freedom is truly what we seek. Everyone is seeking freedom – when i have that, or this goes away, or i am in love, or that job or this is painful i want to go home……………..or out of this traffic, or away from them or whatever it is; from the mind/ego/personal view – escape-ism is the dream. This causes resistance.

In resistance we are in pain, discomfort, weariness, depression, anxious, sad, troubled. In a state of resistance we are believing the temporary to be the All.

In receptiveness we are centered in the literal Allness of life which has no boundaries and is changeless. In receptiveness we are only in the presence with no thought or view of past or future; for the present fills us with absolute joy which is changeless and absolute.

The joy the Jesus, Buddha, Yogananda and other givers of Truth have shared transcends religion; the Truth is for humanity.

The paradox for the seeker is the path of seeking begins outside of oneself, for the mind is leading…………..to others, to workshops, to books, to certificates, to classes, to knowledge – and eventually leads one back to Oneself, to the absolute & changeless interior knowing of Love – and thereby; in reception.

Which came first? The knowing or the reception? Do all remnants of identity have to be vanished in order to reach knowing? OR do we reach knowing and all aspects of identity vanish?

Ah, for the love of the journey!

mad or distant?

a quote came across my FB page this morning; ‘when i get mad, i get distant’. and this hit right in the midst of my heart. truth. palpable. truth.

there is no mad with me, or with other intuits, empaths, sensitives i know; there is only DISTANT. it is the natural way for when an alignment is energetically disconnected. the cords which held one with another being are severed; not because it was wanted, or wished or prayed for; not because there was anger; but because the connection was no longer. and perhaps discord happened to cause this, but energetically speaking,  the chicken or the egg; which comes first; the discord or the distance?  the separation or the distant-ness?

if one is mad, they are still connected. there is no distance. the ego is still talking.

recently i had this happen with a loved one. their words upon me and actions caused cords to be severed and from then on; i am distant. or rather, there is a distance, that is more accurate. i still love them, i have forgiven them – but the warmth is gone, the loving connections have been dissolved. my partner thinks i am angry, i am not. i am crucially aware of the distance – for one would not have taken those actions or spoken those words if they were heart centered.

being an empath the energy you offer me is what i commune with. it can be a comment a FB post which comes from ego and WHAM, i am no longer in connection. i am only able to connect with another through ones heart. this does not make life easy, but it does reveal life having value, preciousness and worth.

this distance is not a conscious choice. it is an awareness of, not an action taken. it does not need healing nor does it need to be resolved. it is. it needs to be honored. it wants to be respected, not washed away and forced to be anything but what it is.

much love to you this day, Deborah