Is Unity possible in the land of Diversity?

Yesterday my favorite radio station posed a question – what do you do in your life to grow unity?

In these time’s of what appears as severe separation on so many levels, I actually saw it as a brave conversation start up. But then, as listeners shared, I once again found myself as the horse of a different color, the one with a different perspective.

People answered from a personal perspective, mostly about family time. Beautiful answers, just not mine. It was perfect, as all is, for I was on a roll yesterday in what I may call my ‘unity’ outreach. My answers are simple, at least for me. Little things which come down to, I share my happy with strangers. Yup, that is my unity mission; share my happy.

When I am at the drive thru line at Dunkin’s for a hit of caffeine; I pay for the person behind me. I ask the drive up barista to please tell them to have a blessed day. I laugh with the Universe, cuz’ it is never just a coffee! One time it must have been for their entire office and thankfully I had just enough cash on me! What I love about this is I like to imagine it makes a difference in their day and their hearts. It is never about who they are, or how they appear to me. I don’t care if they cut me off in traffic at the turn into the lot – I just pay for the folks order who are behind me. I wonder and obviously imagine that perhaps, just perhaps, it felt like an act of random kindness to them and they know that there are simply nice people in the world and they needed to hear that at just that time.

I also interact with people. Strangers in the grocery store, at the ice cream stand. Complementing beautiful families, laughing with a six year old, saying good morning to an elder, wishing someone a blessed day. I participate in life with those around me. We are all people, all in the same spot, a store, a line at the same time. Yesterday when I came out of Staples I could not help but be drawn in by these two beautiful women laughing by their car and we noticed one another and began a quick communion. Women laughing. I told them I had been pulled in by their joy and radiance! What a sweet exchange we had. All of 60 seconds. Made my day!

The world is certainly in a crisis of separation. It is, unfortunately, too easy to observe an enormous crevice between 3D linear perspectives and multidimensional ones. It is truly amazing how we may be speaking English, but what is heard is totally different than what was said. Our vibrations are worlds apart. Different language. I see this each day. Families, siblings, adult children disconnecting from their parents. People believing that if we think differently, we cannot connect. (I speak from a personal experience about this as well.) My way is not YOUR way, so there is not a way, is the theme. Dang, it is so harsh to my heart. How, how do we find connection if we do not seek it? And then we seek it, and it cannot be found – and separation takes place.

Does the idea of unity, as in mankind, mean we have to agree? Can there be a heartfelt connection that goes beyond linear choices? If one being comes from fearful thinking and the other from love – can they find connection?

It appears to me, that the false belief in separation is at hand. This belief that we are separate from God, separate from the Creator, separate from our maker. I find exhaustion in seeing how politics, gender roles, religion, skin color – labels; separate us. Do we like or not like based on linear choices? Are we not each searching for our pod? For those we have a deeper connection with? We do, it is natural. We praise diversity, then we make choices that divide us. Is it dividing or is it setting another person on their way, releasing them to find their own pod? Go forth and find those who you can feel connection with. But, is fear seeking connection? Is it the old; misery likes company?

Different human perspectives. Our attachment to right/wrong ways of being causing so much pain. Seeing or hearing what another said in a different way than they mean it. It has been said that LOVE makes the world go around but, does it? Love certainly heals, but can it be that diversity makes the world move, connect, disconnect, come together, come apart, and back together again. Diversity certainly gets hearts and mind moving!

I do not believe that full unity can exist here on this earth plane. I do not see us being here for that. So many souls, so many stories, so many choices, so many beliefs to choose from! All these labels I do not like do give us ways to feel validated as well as feeling not alone. Who are we when we strip away all that? When we strip away all the choices of what we individually see as the right way, or the wrong way, as the good or the bad, as this or that – what is left?

I believe a Light Being. A soul who has on their human costume for a while, living this incarnation thru a mix of intentions, contracts, past lives, interests and karma. We are each a big ole’ mix of what we have been, and what we imagine ourselves to be – and mostly, what we are – a soul, a speck of the Divine. And to those who do not agree with me, I am totally whacked.

I needed to vent here and I thank you for reading. A person most dear to me, a member of my family, sees me as whacked, says they have been deeply hurt by things I have said and see’s no way for us to have a relationship. I want their happiness above all else even if I am not part of it – yet not being part of it is crushing. How can we be so far apart? I am baffled and I get it, because we are. As close as we are relatively, it is true, we are VERY different people – but, are we very different souls? To me, that is the answer and the connection. Love never stops, even on different paths.

Many blessings to you.

Deborah Evans Hogan

www.amethystlight.org

What One is Not Like the Others?

The top image, a lone purple bearded ready to bloom forth iris in a sea of soon to be orange day lilies. Can you see it? So proud that it has forged its way through the lily patch. For the past eight seasons, as long as we have lived at our current home, ONLY orange day lilies have blossomed here, in this spot. I saw other leaves, but never a bloom. Then last fall, (see second photo below) I dug up some bearded iris that somehow found their way to blossoming each summer on the sandy side of our 100 year old sand and dirt driveway through a pile of winter plowed rocks. I transplanted them on the corner of this garden plot, to the side of the lilies, about a foot away. They are ripe with blooms! Then, now, THIS happened. Do you get it? “Oh…something that looks like me, now I can stand up straight and be proud. NOW, I can bloom. NOW, I can forge my way through all the difference….its okay…I am not alone.”

So much like us people folk, like all of nature. My dear friend adopted a little girl from Cambodia many years ago. The first Sunday she brought her to church, at the age of four, her daughter locked eyes with another little girl, newly adopted from China. “Oh, someone looks like me, more so than this sea of white, blue eyed people.” They ran down the aisle for each other and hugged. Best friends.

All any of us really want is to feel we belong. Why? Is it because we need that validation of approval? Why when we are different is it so hard to allow our difference to shine? Remember the game, what one is not like the other ones? The one circle in a picture of five blocks? Were we taught to celebrate that difference or remove it because it was not like the others? Truly, what ideas are we planting?

The musician in a family of money analysts? Or the artist in a house full of bankers. Or the six year old financial genius with rock star parents. We all love to feel like we belong. As a very young mother I had a friend who was highly intellectual, and her husband a physician. Their first born was a daughter who was a musical prodigy. Their second child, a boy, was a true football player at two years of age. If it went fast, if he could climb it, if he could jump off of it – he was there from time he could walk. And all I can remember is the mother always complained, always wanted him to be different, to settle down.

It is difficult to feel courage when we are the only one standing. But, if we can love simply for loving and not for conditional reasons, like what one looks like, their political preferences, or the color of skin, or the type of flower, or the idea we all have to be interested in the same thing – then we can encourage our diversity, not run away from it because we are afraid.

with great love, Deborah

www.amethystlight.org

GOOD MORNING

Good Morning. How are you?

For those of you who feel you are an empath, or an HSP, or an old soul, or an introvert – listen up. Recently, in between adding up receipts for taxes (which I dislike more than I can find words to express) and replying to my editor’s final tweaks on my book (which also puts me into an emotional frenzy where my hands sweat and my head spins at the idea that this kind of pickiness is actually helpful – which intellectually I know – and even necessary – which somewhere deep down I understand although grammar gives me the heebee jeebeis) —–so, back to recently……….I have been reading as much as I can on being an empath, an HSP, an old soul and an introvert. This combination is brutal. Yes, a gift, and yes, brutal. I seek and read articles not because I do not understand these labels, I do – but because it is like finding an old friend who adores and loves you. Reading articles about myself feels calming to my soul and gives me validation to help me get off what may feel like the crazy train.

I came across wonderful articles on the web – google empath burnout and see what you find. Empath burnout. A thing. Even though I have lived aware of it daily for many years, the past two months it rolled into a huge ball and I am still there. It is interesting to be in a dark hole AND be aware.

In a life where one feels everything – and most linear things people take for granted we find offensive to our soul – let’s just say life feels exhausting at times. I know when I am really off my path, meaning when I am not honoring my soul – and yet I simply keep going till I crash and burn. Right now I am burning. It’s okay. One day, maybe even today, I will get back fully on my path. Meaning, I will honor my mind, body and spirit through the right foods and other nurturance. I know I will, I always do. But, for right now, I am in empath burnout. Or, compassion exhaustion; it is a thing.

An empath feels everything in the room. All the emotions said and unsaid. All that has been spoken, done and experienced – in one room. There are different types of empaths, and then there is the one kind that is an empath to everything – even structures, and people, and animals, and plants. Everything is different than the linear world states it should be accomplished. Have you ever house shopped? You know the question, how many bedrooms, bathrooms, etc. would you like? I freeze. This question makes me sweat. How do I know? I need to feel the house. Just let me in the houses I see I like and then I will know if it works for me. Once I had a friend from church who was a realtor. He was the best! He took me to ANY house I wanted, no matter its criteria. I always know my house when I see it on the web or on paper. But then, there are others I need to go to and he brought me! We did great work that time together; clearing houses of old trauma. I would feel and perhaps see the issue and be able to help those souls who were left behind from the trauma – a house with a fire was one of them. A soul was still there who had not yet crossed, so the house was not selling. It was all an act of service, under the guise of real estate! I love that!

Compassionate burnout is not only when we have witnessed many others stories for healing, (all caregivers, clergy, therapists, etc.) but also from inauthentic people. Inauthentic people, and people who give more power to their deficits than the Truth, and people who hide from themselves. Empath high alert. It is interesting what a trigger this is for us, and also when we are not being true to ourselves as empaths, HSP’s, old souls, introverts; we trigger ourselves!

Because being highly sensitive is not easy in this world, at least for me, I know exactly when I fall off my path. My thing is I turn to food my body does not like. And I hide. I hide in my room. This is my gerbil wheel. And, I spin. I spin until I am so dang tired I fall off.

It is clear to see how many people shut down in order to not feel. I fully understand that. It is a form of protection. Someone very dear to me has done this. They have yet to realize they are a gifted intuitive/empath and have emotionally shut down from the feeling world via their work life which is highly successful in the linear world of finance. One day it, for many of us, the feeling world simply feels like too much, and some choose protection mode.

And an awake Empath, who is also an HSP, an Old Soul and an Introvert knows better than to run away. Our being in this world IS a gift and CAN help others. BUT, we MUST, we absolutely MUST take care of ourselves, for no one else can do that for us.

Please, take excellent care of yourself. Take breaks from work. Take breaks from life, as in a vacation. Talk to someone. Reach out to a friend…someone who really gets you. If you are NOT an introvert, online groups may work for you. You may have to find ways to simplify your life so you can LIVE your life. (A smaller home, hiring help to do tasks that drain you, moving to where you have always felt drawn.) The most helpful thing for me, is speaking with an authentic person who gets me fully, one who we are aligned with one another in our sensitivities. It may only take a phone call. Going to make that right now…….

with great love to you, Deborah

www.deborahevanshogan.org

Forgiveness, go for it.

I am awake in the middle of the night buying books online and feeling grateful for Amazon. Before you verbally accuse me; yes, I buy from small shops too. But not at 1 in the morning. I realize Jeff Bezos is a conglomerate – I get it. AND I am grateful for my computer and buying power when I cannot sleep.

I awoke thinking about forgiveness. So many of us hold onto old stories, misinterpretations, and grudges, hurts and blaming others for not living up to our expectations of them – and it hurts us! Not them. This victim mentality of blaming others for our own unhappiness is violently against unconditional love, Gods love, Universal Love – it is deeply, deeply harsh, sad and horrible. This kind of holding on hurts your body, your health, your life. This holding on affects every single aspect of your life! My empathic heart aches for those who share with me this disease. The disease of lack of forgiveness.

We must learn to forgive. Learn it through the bible, through A Course in Miracles, through reading Colin Tipping’s books – through a counselor, a member of the clergy, a therapist – just go for it! Go for forgiving others.

Stop being a victim to other peoples ignorance, stop blaming your parents, step into the power of love, the power of YOU. Know that whatever anyone said about you is a reflection of them, not you. Whatever horrible, lack, unloving, unkind, yucky thing they said to you – has nothing to do with you.

AND forgive yourself. Don’t you get tired of your children blaming you? Don’t you get tired of you blaming your family for what they did or didn’t do?

FORGIVE, and move on. STOP letting that conversation from ten years ago be your go to for your failures. STOP verbally hanging your past best friend out to dry for the time they cheated on you with your spouse. STOP letting your parents choices of bad behavior be your emotional jumping off point.

Grievances cause illness in our bodies. Carrying a grievance towards another person of any kind will make you sick.

It is amazing how we blame others for not being what we think they should be. Think about that. Even our families, relatives. There was a time I blamed my mother for my life. She was an alcoholic. She was the picture of lack of self confidence. She was addicted to prescription drugs. Really…I’m going to blame her for being sad, feeling unloved and not being the parent I wanted? Well, I stopped that many years ago. Through love, the chains of blame were cut loose and it changed me COMPLETELY.

Perhaps you blame your childhood, or your children are blaming you for not being the parent or person they think you should be. (A lot of that going around.) A persons opinion (relatives included) says everything about them and has nothing to do with you.

I realize forgiveness does not come easily to many. Some hold onto having to see the person change. Some hold onto needing the person to take the fault, make amends, do the right thing. In some cases, what could possibly be enough?

I am telling you, forgiveness works. It is the answer to unhappiness, failed relationships, career challenges – all of it. Learn to forgive and your entire life changes for good.

with great love, Rev Deb

www.amethystlightministry.org

So, so, so Tired of ……………

Being an empath at this time in our evolution is quite exhausting. Glancing into the outer world is proving deeply challenging. For me, it is not a matter of protection, but a matter of carefully and cautiously choosing any engagement at all – no matter how short, slight, who it may involve or if it is only a glance, a moment of hearing a sentence, or simply feeling one person’s silent response.

We are so far from living our worth, our loving selves. And for this empath it is excruciating. This is not about asking for help, or suggestions; I know what to do. I have lived this way for many, many years. But truly, right now it is a swirling tub of dark mud. Holding my inner balance, raising my heart to meet my highest self is possible – and then there are the egos that simply are turning away, and acting out from an accumulation of unhealed lies and wounds that they are blaming the most open loving heart they can find. It’s like having a bullseye on my forehead.

(Speaking of forehead, I will say wearing a cap over my crown and third eye has been MOST helpful.)

It is hard to imagine that the ego, especially in male bodies, could possibly ever get any louder, more wounded, sensitive or down right mean. I am nauseous as I write this – it is incredible! The actions I have witnessed of wounded male ego’s this past month is beyond anything I could have ever imagined. I am so, so, so tired of ego’s aggressiveness, lack of empathy, self centeredness. I am SO, so, so tired of sensitive egos. So, so, tired of people not doing their own work, blaming others, not taking responsibility for their actions. I am so tired of ignorance. I am so tired of killings, mayhem and tragedy. I am so tired of white privilege, of humans judging others by color, ancestry, of people wondering where a person was really born and how they got to the states! I am so, so, tired of the relentless ways people protect wrong doing. I am so tired of lies. Lies are a terribly, horrific disease. One who lies under the misconceptions that it protects others from hurt, carries these lies with them and those lies will kill their bodies, cause illness and eventually leave them all alone, by themselves, for hiding makes one a very lonely person. When the ego carries lies, it prevents one from true authentic human heart connection. All an empath wants is true authentic heart connection – and the ego is sure to run from that.

Are you an empath, and/or H.S.P. who has people falling out of your life? Yes, that. Yup, lots of it. Deep breaths. Yes, even family.

I thank God each day of my faith and knowledge of life. I know we thrive on, this earth life is temporary, at the holy center of each of us is love and all this shall pass. I thank God it is spring where I live and I can be in my yard, in dirt, with seeds, blossoms and compost – where I can feel aligned and renewed. I thank God I have a loving, supportive life partner who lets me know each day how much he loves me.

Thank you for reading my rant. May your day know blessings of unconditional love.

Deborah

www.amethystlight.org

Building Blocks

Every single choice we make, either supports our foundation to be strong – or weak. At each crossroads, we are either pushing love away, or receiving it – we are either welcoming God into our life, or pushing Spirit away. This belief is an immense facet of my personal existence. This belief affects every single aspect of my life no matter where I am, what I am doing or who I am speaking with. Am I being the very best version of myself, right now? Am I open to love, right now? Am I as kind as possible, right now? Am I being accepting, right now? Every single action we choose to take, every single way we interact with others, every single tone we offer in conversation, emails, posts; matters.

Building blocks of integrity, honesty, and authenticity or lying, shame, guilt, and manipulation will create either weak blocks or strong ones in each relationship we have; with yourself and others. Each choice we make builds a secure foundation, or a weak one. A foundation can hold us up or cause us to fall.

One of the greatest lies told in a relationship is, “what they don’t know won’t hurt them.” Keeping secrets is an illness, a disease that can filter through families and generations. Some people think if they don’t tell, it doesn’t exist. That is the big lie. A lie gnaws at us. Others may not hear the truth, but they know something is off. The Universe knows you are not being honest, because being honest is part of our innate preprogramming. I have witnessed lies corrupt a family, and cause immense pain, even when not spoken out loud.

Build your own foundation from positive aspects of life you respect, that make you feel good about yourself, and someone YOU would want to be around. This makes for a strong foundation in your relationship with yourself. And, as we all know, all other relationships we have in life flow from that one.

Know what you stand upon, block by block.

Bless your day,

Deborah

www.deborahevanshogan.org

Peace Be Still.

I am really into stillness. I may get more out of being still than anything else I do. My moments of stillness balance me, they allow for all of me to not only quiet, but to feel calmly renewed. Stillness. Mind, body, cells, thoughts, breath – all of it. STILL.

Let me begin by stating what is NOT stillness. Doing anything with a purpose or goal, is NOT stillness. This includes more than the obvious, such as reading, napping, listening to music. Stillness is not doing yoga either. It is not meditating. (WHAT???!!) It is not hiking in the woods. I mean it – doing nothing. STILLNESS. No intentional purpose what so ever. It is NOT sitting and petting your cat, or dog or other. The moment you have an intention your mind is engaged to fulfill a purpose – you are off to the human races. When many people sit to meditate they have a purpose. (Mind link.) When I lead meditations it is about ONLY listening to and following your breathing. I have found this can lead people to a place of stillness without trying.

As you practice STILLNESS you become aware of it at any moment you wish from deep within your center. You will instantly become aware of your breath. You will know it is within – and ready for you when you are. STILLNESS – being without connecting, with no attachment within or without.

Why? If you have ever observed yourself, you will see how your mind is so busy, how you may be ‘trying’ to ‘accomplish’ things, ‘fix’ things, make something happen. How whatever you do, you are doing with an intention in order to achieve something by energetically engaging with an object, person or thought. Deborah, aren’t you doing this through wanting to achieve stillness? In a way, but stillness takes nothing – nothing at all. Stillness is not about achieving, it is about being. It is a letting go of, rather than an attachment with.

I spoke with a new client the other day during our first phone session. She is a wreck, going through massive shifts, experiencing high anxiety. After a bit she says – oh, I do meditate, everyday. Okay, tell me about your meditating. Well, I sit, breathe and observe all my thoughts, all that is going on around me, if outside I become aware of the cars, the kids in the park.…..Well, meditating should bring you to place where you would not be suffering so, right? Oh, I guess so.

In the 70’s there was a teaching that we would observe our thoughts and imagine a leaf and just gently push the thought’s aside. Still; engaging, paying attention to.

STILLNESS is being fully present, but not engaged. No energetic cords of attaching to surroundings either within or without are coming from you. You are seeing, but not looking.

What happens when you sit and gaze? Gaze without ANY attachment. You can sit in any room. And gaze. Sit outdoors and gaze. NO ENGAGING. No thoughts or internal comments about what you see. That is engaging, associating, connecting. Do not associate with anything you see through liking it, or disliking it, or silent commenting. Let your eyes gaze, but do not let your mind follow.

Immensely rewarding!

with great love, Deborah

www.deborahevanshogan.org

My Recent Healing Journey.

I have been a ‘healer’ since 1992. This has meant different things at different times along my journey. I became involved, interested in holistic medicine in college. Mostly it was food driven, what I wanted to put in my body. I soon realized that food was a medicine. At this time I became an on again off again non meat eater. Mostly off. Newly married in 1973, soon after I healed a reoccurring skin aliment of childhood eczema through nutrition. As my first marriage dissolved into divorce I learned the role emotions play in our health and wellness. Through this journey of awareness into the 80’s I became a serious student of energy medicine. Along came New Thought, power of the word, and confidence. In the early 90’s came the certifications, classes, schooling, precancer, my first healing center, falling in love with my husband. In the later 90’s my personal relationship with God blossomed, terms like multidimensional, spiritual and innate landed, more study and I became an ordained interfaith minister in 1997. I feel I am a minster first, always. No matter what I am doing, I am ministering to others through my faith in God.

This paragraph is an excerpt from my upcoming book:

“I detest labels. Growing up in a home where labels were worshipped, I realized at an early age that their only purpose was to divide, never to unite. I have been called an empath, healer, intuitive, artist, channeler, transition doula, a Shaman, weird, clairvoyant, clairaudient, claircognizant, a medium, a Reiki Master, counselor, guru, teacher, an H.S.P. (Highly sensitive person), multi-dimensional, a master energy practitioner, psychic, and I imagine even others after I have left the room.  My blessings are also my curse. I dislike the term sensitive. And, I say it often to describe myself, for many times words fail a cosmic association.  In our humanness I feel it is associated with downfall, weak and a negative connotation. Once a loved one thought I must be very anxious, for they felt it went along with being sensitive. This is not true. Being open, being sensitive to the energy of people, things, experiences is a blessing, for it makes me very good at my work – yet its nature is I require equal downtime, rest and renewal.”

This introduction brings me to today. In my life I have had a few (major) physical healing journeys, the most recent is in the present. I think of each of them as an immense gift. (Migraines, Pre cervical-cancer, frozen shoulder, severe cut on tendon and joint of finger, digestive issues.) I call them healing journeys, for I went against the mainstream norm and took the inner path and chose holistic support instead. I refused suggested surgeries or allopathic medications. They each healed.

The present issue has been digestive issues. There was pain, ache, discomfort, what is called GERD, acidic belly. One day all my covid emotional eating caught up with me (Please know I eat well anyways, so my covid eating does not look too destructive, but being highly sensitive, a little affects me greatly.) Overnight, literally one morning after I had had pain in my upper belly, bowel discomfort for a week, and acidic taste in mouth – I went on a high alkaline diet. I stopped, all at once; coffee, any caffeine, alcohol, *processed foods, breads, cheese, (I ate WAY too much cheese), dairy, meat and only ate (everything cooked very soft) vegetables, maybe an apple or banana, and white rice, white potatoes and sweet potatoes. (*And sometimes saltines for the crunch. I love a good crunch and raw food was not working well for me.) I went to my chiropractor, had / are having weekly acupuncture, my healer and asked for prayer. I am 98 % better. I recently had my yearly physical with the medical world and shared all my symptoms and was told to continue doing what I was doing. No need for tests. All my blood labs are good, BP excellent. Nothing out of order was found.

For my husband and son it is going to a doctor or over the counter med when an issue arrives, and this works for them. For me, I believe our bodies are Divine and can and DO come back to balance when we pay attention to its wisdom and listen. I stopped listening through this past year. I learned I felt sorry for myself, through this covid experience. My work & home life changed drastically. I thought I had faced it, talked about it, honored it when it happened, but I have learned that I was carrying resentment. My body was carrying it. I clearly saw how I was emotionally eating, and through this not really listening, or I refused to listen to the signs because food was joy – and I felt joy had been taken from me – and I was obviously going to get it where I could.

At this time when my symptoms peaked and I became scared enough to make changes, I had JUST two weeks before completed my first book manuscript, sent it to the editor and my son, who had just moved to the west coast was experiencing severe symptoms and under going testing. I was also very full each morning (one to three hours) doing distant healing work on people, payer work and tears for my child.

When I had stopped to go within, I discovered that most of my pain was in an inflamed spleen. Chinese medicine is my choice, and I learned all about the spleen and the spleen meridian which answered every single one of my symptoms, including post nasal drip, dry mouth and mouth tingling! I also learned that the spleen houses the ‘YI’, which relates to thinking, studying, directness, mental focus, determination, drive, concentration. All these attributes pretty much sums me up. And with my book and healing work load, my acupuncturist and I agree; I wore my spleen out. Depleted.

I also was being totally a covid sludge. No movement at all. That has changed too. I am a big yard and gardener, so I know that will shift as warmth comes to New England, but I HAD to find ways to move now.

My diet continues to be ‘rigid’. Plant based. I have added celery juice with half an apple, parsley and ginger in the AM. I drink ONLY herbal tea and high alkaline water. I take a gut lining renewal aid. My stomach gets full VERY quickly and I eat maybe a 1/4 of what I use to. I only eat halve banana, not a whole. I have added legumes. (God bless the perfect lentil.) All food warmed except my morning celery juice. My goal is to enjoy a glass of wine, raw foods, salad and eat fish. But for now, my spleen still chats every now and then. It is no longer inflamed, but it knocks slightly to let me know it is there and still needs special love.

This kind of eating is not new to or for me. BUT, with feeling sorry for myself, eating what I know is not good for me, working intensely for my clients, pushing to get my book done, and lack of any exercise – I failed my body.

At almost 67 I am not on any medications and I do feel very good about that. This experience, when these self healing experiences happen, the God sent reminder is I know what I know, what I teach others, do for others, WORKS. What I BELIEVE works. We know this on an intellectual level, I stand firmly in my faith, but to be in the position of SEEING and feeling it all work, that the truths I live by are awesome – magnifies my faith and instills in me more confidence and gratitude. For this I have the deepest appreciation.

with great love,

Deborah

www.deborahevanshogan.org

Why do we try so hard…to be good?

Psychology Today says: “Trying too hard usually stems from a childhood where your efforts were either not rewarded or were not regarded as ever good enough, where you perceived yourself to be undervalued or unappreciated.”

So according to the above quote, I know a lot of people who were not rewarded for their efforts when they were young – including myself. Everywhere we look we see spiritual this, spiritual that, how to improve your life, how to get rid of bad habits, how to have a better life. Some people think it is finding God, others think matching kitchen appliances do it. Look around you, everyone tries so hard, so much, so often. I just wrote a book about it – developing faith in order to see God work in your life…what for? So, (drumroll please) you’ll have a better life! It would really be a kick in my pants if I am over the book before it even gets published, huh? (I think that is one of my themes – as a conscious artist of life, I am often over something right at its peak – like business cards – I have learned to order the smallest amount possible because as much as I HAD to have them loved them thought they were marvelous; within a few months I want new ones. Really, I must have had over 100 different cards. We really do get over things.)

In our human hood of personal attachment we latch on to that which is fleeting. Temporary. And unfortunately, the ego not only latches, but build altars to the finite as well. It is one thing to humbly enjoy ‘things’, and another to raise them above love.

Dang, everyone is trying to prove something, to themselves and others. I have met a few pure souls, my husband for one. He never tries to prove a damn thing to anyone, not to me, not even to himself. No doubt why I fell in love with him. What happens for me is every time I have what I call an epiphany – like, oh, yeah…I get it! I see Gods hand in it. And for me, it is usually after I have made a public display of myself, which means my beliefs. – Oh, man….. then – oh, yeah, that thing Deborah – ah, nope, no more.

People try hard to prove themselves, to get ahead in their field, to become ‘an expert’. People work hard at meditating, being seen as spiritual, looking successful. People work so hard for things. And more things. Perhaps insecurity breeds hard work; at anything.

I can feel when I am trying hard; finally. Years ago I was just a bulldozer ready to plow over anyone in my path. Then I became aware and felt the requirement to share any way I could, because I felt I knew something worth sharing. Now, my hope is I share because I love the act of sharing and if no one hearts, likes or follows me; I still thrive. That is one of the greatest gifts of aging – we know we don’t know everything, we know that what works for me may not work for you, we know no one owns the rights on wisdom, we know we can ONLY do what we can and the rest is up to you.

Perhaps what we refer to as Mastery is simply living your life the best way you want to, with no matter to anyone else. They can too. Purely unattached. Not trying to make any impression or hear yourself be a talking head. Your mantra becomes….“Okay, if you think so.”

What is not fleeting? My faith in God, not fleeting. My relationship with Jesus; not fleeting. My love for my husband. My love for my son. For me, when your foundation is faith in God, (Divine Intelligence, The Universal Presence, Creator, etc.) anything that is temporary becomes unimportant. (Even matching appliances.) We stop trying so hard.

with great love, Deborah

www.deborahevanshogan.org

Get Off the Gerbil Wheel, or Put the Monkeys to Bed.

Language. Words. They can get in our way or get us to where we want to be; depending on how we choose them.

Take the phrase; God Bless Our Home – or God Bless You. How ever we use this prayer; on a plaque, verbally, or a wooden sign from Esty – say it out loud. Note how it feels.

Now, say this instead: God Blesses Our Home, God Blesses You.

Did you feel the sublime shift from asking to affirming? If not, try it again. Listen and feel the words.

It is radically amazing how the shift from asking for to affirming presently changes our mindset, and hence, our lives.

In stead of a begging/asking/beseeching wording, we can choose to affirm. Perhaps affirming health feels too far fetched when one is ill or in pain. BUT, affirming that health is a possibility, is available feels comforting.

Everything we need is here, in affirming this are bodies relax, being reminded of this Truth. Even if we do not see it yet, this prayer/exercise can place us in a space of feeling the possibility of.

When our mind falls down a rabbit hole, gets on a gerbil wheel of fear ……..(you know what I mean) – I LOVE affirming out loud;

“Love is here too. Courage is here, strength, peace…are here too. Answers are here, health is here, the Light is here, knowing is here, healing is here, Divine perfection is here, calm is here”…..over and over again………..

May these few words support you.

In Gods Light,

Deborah

www.deborahevanshogan.org