Empath, Intuitive, Indian Chief.

Image result for wise woman

I am an empath and an H.S.P. ; highly sensitive person. These are today’s labels. I imagine they will be different in ten years. Perhaps in the 1700’s it was witch, healer in the woods or midwife. In the 1960’s maybe it was psychic, then we heard intuitive. I will throw in wise woman, Sage, Shaman, oracle, prophet and channeler. Yes indeed, each ten years or so, the collective shifts, language changes, meanings transform. All ways we communicate – ah, so many, many ways.

First off, this is all my perspective. I am not an expert on anything but myself. (Are any of us, and should we be?) If you are seeking expert advice, I offer you books by Judith Orloff, M.D.. https://drjudithorloff.com/ For me, her 365 daily for empaths is saving grace in tactile book form.

Being an empath, or whatever label you personally choose for one who see’s with feelings and energy, having no boundaries is a living hell. I have excellent boundaries. I have consciously worked on this for many years. Yet, there are times when it can be deeply challenging. Not in my work, in my work the professional edge is present and my boundaries are crystal clear. I do not carry my clients discomfort or challenges. In my personal life it can be very different.

I knew a psychic who one day ‘saw’ that her husband was having an affair. She threw all his belongings out in the driveway, waited amongst his things resting in a lounge chair, for him to come home. As he got out of his car she stood and looked at him and said; “Really? You thought I wouldn’t know?”

Yup, that is how it all is sometimes. Friends who do not share secrets that involve you, relatives who ‘hide’ having surgeries, who are separated, are getting a divorce……people you care about not sharing. These are people you have soul connections with, a substantial relationship, not every single person. This not sharing is not about me, I understand that. I do not take it personally. (Well, maybe a little bit cuz I think I can help them and wouldn’t it be nice for them to confess it??) Our relationship does not prevent me from ‘seeing’ it, because we do care and love one another there is an energetic opening, a tunnel if you will, connecting us. No, I do not look on purpose. In fact, looking is not the accurate way to define it. A feeling just drops into my mind, my head, I hear, or I have a knowing – I may text someone and they do not reply and I sit with it and ‘know’, ‘oh, they just had the surgery and do not want to share’. or I can think of someone we have not heard from and feel, ‘oh, they transitioned’…and find their obituary on line.

I carry some of these ‘knowing’s’ for YEARS. It is not my business to bring it up, it is theirs – yet, it does place a bit of a wall up…..ever so slight, but the longer it goes on without sharing or admittance; the heavier the feeling with in can be. The warm-fuzzy-family-good-friend-feeling becomes more professional. It has to.

Some get being emotionally attached confused with empathy and then confused with being an empath. Emotional attachment is a lack scenario seeing another through eyes of feeling sad for them, pitying them, feeling sorry for them. Usually with one’s close circle. Without healthy boundaries people think this is loving. It is not. Being empathetic one still can see how another, and it does not matter who it is, is experiencing their lives. Usually in negative manner, to again feel bad for them on top of taking on this feeling as their own. Being an empath with healthy boundaries we can see the joy and the grief, yet do not take on the feeling.

For years since my husband and I started living together he calls me the Princess and the Pea – remember that story? Laying upon hundreds of mattresses and she still felt the pea on the bottom? Yup, that is very accurate.

If you were brought here to read, may your day feel blessed & your journey filled with Light. Thank you for joining me, Deborah

www.amethystlight.org

‘The How is up to God’

Yesterday I had one of my ‘most amazing days’ and I want to share it with you. Yes, I often have them, but yesterday was an emotional grind of pouring out and being refilled.

Long story short, as with many of us, the changes this pandemic has caused in our lives, has been a challenge for me, in the fact that I had had a healing center in our home ( many called it Deborah’s Ashram) due to my husband being away 10- 13 hours each day – and now, and for the past three months, he works from home. We have managed to do what is physically possible to make adjustments, but there is only so much given the space. I love that he does not have to drive back and forth to work each day. I am deeply happy for him, and the ease and sanity he now can work from; our beautiful home. Yet, this changes MY personal world; completely. He is in MY space, every single day. Notably there are increased chores; food, cooking, errands, laundry, messy house etc; and the biggest one – I have no silence. There was, overnight, more of everything and less of what I wanted the most.

As a healer, minister, spiritual teacher and life long meditator, I require time alone. It is like the air I breathe. My designated rooms in our home are not enough. My sound machine is not enough. One day I had a most beautiful rhythm to my day – and then it was gone. Gone. The blackboard wiped clean.

Now, please know, to fully comprehend my heart and this story; I was not angry. I understand. I want this for my husband. I love my husband. We talk openly about this. AND it changed EVERYTHING that was my foundation of daily existence.

Yesterday I had my first ‘in house’ client since this began. Yes, I would see clients on weekends when my husband was home or when he every once and a while would work from home, but his presence, the daily energy once again I say; changed everything about this space being a center. He is working from our living room. It works for him – but not for what was a center for others to find solace in. (Including myself.) Yesterday also was his first ‘day off’ since this began. He was not working.

When I awoke in the morning to begin my day, I was over the top happy knowing clients were once again coming. (I had met with a few clients out side, and been doing many phone appointments.) Then it hit, the fact that the energies were so different, I cracked. I fell apart, wide open. My husband knows I am not angry with him, he sympathizes, but what can be done?

Within my heart I felt it was possible, but just cannot see the how. This has been my question for three months since my husband started working from home. It is an option that this working from home may continue past the summer too, and then there will be retirement in a few years – how the heck can this work? Where is my solitude???? How can I have a marriage and my ministry? I fell wide open in tears, ranting, heaving and loud vocals. I went into our bedroom and let myself feel it all.

Everything hit me. How different this was. My sacred rhythm was gone. I was exhausted from the shift, from all the extra work and energy daily life was taking for me. We have a large yard and that takes my daily time also. It had all reached a huge crescendo, a huge ugly cry – and huge, massive fall apart of ‘I cannot do this’. We talked. Rationally. What can we do? Two houses? Larger home if we could afford it! What do I give up? Is it time? Do I give up who I am? I want to write, to finish my book. How can I do that AND everything else?? I want to start seeing my clients again and have that flow in my life – but how the heck can I do all this? All the more of everything AND do this ministry? How do I have both?

Give me up, he said. No. I do not want that.

I asked God to show me. Do I continue my work? Do I finish my book? Can you show me, please, give me the path to continue? I know the value of my work – I am not ready to give that up, I want to continue. I want my marriage and my ministry. Do I hold on to this ministry? Can writing the book be the ministry? And just give up clients and all that that involves on a daily basis, including this blog. Can I not take texts? Emails? Phone calls? I knew from the beginning this was not easy to accomplish. In my circles all the ministers I knew are not married. They had to have their solitude. It feels like a split apart – yet, my husband is also a rock for me, and can be very helpful when he is not working.

My first client came and it was heaven to sit with her. Instantly, the rest of the world fall away as we entered sacred space and Spirit flowed through me. Nothing else mattered. Of course, much of our communion and what she brought to the session reflected my story – it was perfect. Her gratitude for our work together was pronounced – and I my heart was filled up again. How can I possibly consider NOT doing this? I was grateful for the sessions and still confused, HOW?

After clients I asked my husband to drive me to do a few errands. Many days I am just too non grounded to drive. And today I remained exhausted from my emotional outburst in the morning. Before we left I checked my email. I was waiting for a response from a client about an appointment. But there was: A Beloved of this ministry wanted to donate money and the format she once used I had taken from the website – she asked how to do it now. There was a God tinge of, ‘oh, a donation – someone is appreciating my work’…………..I was so thankful for her simply wanting to! I had had no monetary donations in a long while.

Our first stop was the post office. A box from my niece in law in California. In it; love notes galore, thank you and gifts. A drawing of an angel from one of my great nieces saying – I love you Great Aunt Debbie! A drawing of a dragon fly, and a physical gift of gold dragon fly and a vase with dragonflies!!! (One of my totems.) AND, as if I was not already bawling my eyes out from feeling SO loved, a most beautiful card from my fabulous niece in law of gratitude for my spiritual support in her life. Wow God, you are sure speaking to me!!!

Then I opened our state tax return. Oh goodie. Then I opened an unexpected donation of love from a long term client I had not seen in three months giving thanks – wow God! Two donations in one day! You are amazing. Then I opened a letter from a financial settlement I had received last year…and they sent MORE money because there was more to distribute. I was just feeling so well taken care of. Financially, as with others, this ministry has not been in the flow as it had been before the pandemic. The love that was in the box from my niece and her daughters was astronomical! The gratitude I was being indwelled with from donations coming through felt like answered direction. I wept some more.

We got home and I was emotionally raw, exhausted. I couldn’t even reach out in thanks to people, I had to wait till today. It is my deep hope all the people involved in my life who God used as answered prayer yesterday read this blog – and that many others read it to know; God always answers us.

Sure, I still am discombobulated, but I have breathing room. I am fully relaying on my faith. There is a way for this to work out – and I remind myself, each time in my life times are challenging, there is always better, more unexpected good on the other side of the experience. It has always been an ‘upgrade!’ And most importantly, the HOW is up to God.

The emotional ranting, breaking apart is often a breaking through. It feels like an act of surrendering. Like raising the white flag; I give up God. I will stop this inner battle and take it one day at a time and depend on You to support me, guide me and show me the way.

SO thankful! Still unfolding, but there has been relief.

Deborah

www.amethystlight.org

Dismantling; to find the Seed.

One of my consistent awareness’s to bring to a clients understanding is that 99.9 % of the time, the issue or the challenge before them is an effect of the true problem, the seed of the belief. The effect is a symptom if you will, of the underlying, real issue, the seed that is hidden beneath the reactions causing the acting out.

For example; people may divorce due to a spouse having an affair – but that is not the seed. The seed is why? What is behind that choice they made? What prompted them to go outside the commitment?

It is the same with our present racial uprisings in our country. Yes, we all have bias. Even if we say we don’t. I am not a prejudice soul, at all. Never have been, do not have it alive in my DNA. BUT, as open as I am to ALL, as consciously awake as I am, I would be lying if I did not say, a spark, a small, teeny tiny spark that I never act upon gets ever so faintly lit, sometimes. It feels like noting a ‘difference’.

Yesterday morning I did a FaceBook live on this global awakening expressing as racism in our country, that we are in the midst of. This live presentation was quite an experience for me, it came through the very depth of my heart. So of course, I attracted this: Later in the day I went to my local farm stand and in front of me was a young man purchasing just three peaches……his car was right behind me, I noted because he did not park in regular area, but took space up close to drive-up window. Waiting in line behind him, I noted his shaved head, stance, and glanced at his car. His car had Trump signs and other that told me he was aligned with white supremacy. As I turned back around he had turned around too and our eyes met, the air was a bit thick, he looked directly through me. I wished him a good day. But, I would-be lying if I did not note, I felt the difference. I did not act upon anything for there is nothing to act upon, only love comes through me – does this mean I am prejudice, or aware? And if I am not prejudice as I believe, would I even be aware?

I grew up in the 60’s and 70’s. I came into this world not understanding why my father’s work place was targeted and he was forced to hire a person of color. I simply couldn’t understand the fact that perhaps my dad had not hired anyone due to any kind of prejudice. As a tenacious child, I asked him, why? At that time Sen. Edward Brooks of Massachusetts, the first African-American to be elected to the U.S. senate, from 1967- 1979, was a smart, well spoken, making a difference politician. I was 13 when he was elected and I still can feel the impact. He came to my fathers office for a one on one meeting – and we spoke of it at dinner. My father, a privileged white male of some authority in his community, took emotional offense that Senator Brooks had come along to his office with his ‘men’, as my father called them. No doubt, I am assuming, body guards. (Of course! I think now.) But, my fathers narrow, small and entitled perspective caused him to think another persons action had to do with HIM personally, which lacks empathy, compassion & understanding.

Entitlement is an extremely narrow, biased, small, tight, rigid, ignorant site line. It sets one apart of the whole, seeing differences other than what holds us together as a community of humanity.

In order for healing of any kind to take place within ourselves and or with others, no matter a couple or of an entire country, we must rewire the infrastructure first. There is a Shaman Journey that I was taught and have participated with a few times: one goes into a meditative state, is led to a cauldron over a fire, dismantles ones self tossing it all into the fire, then takes back only what one wants to keep. Powerful!!!! The transformative power of fire. When brought back to present state, the effect is profound.

I wish this could take place with in the United States – and perhaps we are. Perhaps in all this anger, this fire energy we are seeing, IS the dismantling of a damaged, weak, unfair, lacking integrity infrastructure – and from the ashes the new will rise.

I think of a statement Will Smith made in his up & coming years about relationship. His said his dad was bricklayer, and he taught him to lay one brick at a time, making sure each was strong, firm, balanced…because if one brick is off in the very first row it throws off the entire wall. Relationships are the same. Another words, build from a strong seed; one of honesty, integrity and love.

The relationship the United States has with itself is obviously built on shaky ground – or is it? Are we ignoring the actually bricks it WAS built on? “All men created equal’ – we certainly have not lived that out.

As an empath & intuitive I have said, the United States represents the EGO center for the globe. I regret I was so accurate. And remember, EGO, the solar plexus, stands for ‘Edging God Out’.

The seed. Let’s get to the seed, the interior framework which has allowed this horrible, ignorant, fear based, entitled prejudice to corrupt our government, our society, our lives.

God is in the cauldron too. The fire is nature, and the waters of healing WILL take place, for that is the natural cycle. When the waters come through the tears of the mothers, the shame of the white entitled, the embarrassment of a nation – perhaps our individual & collective infrastructures will be re-birthed.

May we heal with grace.

Thank you, Deborah

www.revdeborahhogan.org

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What To Do Now?

Too often we awake to finding out, hearing, reading or seeing life playing out in ways that are painful, challenging and make our hearts spin. We are human, after all.

And what is this ‘human’ excuse we hear so much about? We say it as if it holds automatic forgiveness or an excuse for ‘bad’ behavior. Some days I am simply appalled at ‘bad behavior’; and you? Yes, I am sure, you too. How can you not be? Unless you live at the top of a mountain in a cave, alone, with out world access. It is rampant in our politics, in our authority figures, in life. Why? Why do so many have such poor boundaries, live in so much fear, express through fiery anger? Why is it, that so many react, rather than express calmly? Why do we do what we do to one another? Why do mothers yell at children in grocery stores to the embarrassment of by passers and the deep lifelong humiliation of a child soul? Why do people engage in killing, in war or street crime? Why, in our ‘humanness’, do we see ourselves as less than? Less than our Divine selves? Less than being able. Less than knowing better? The entire thing makes one sick. Literally. People making horrible, horrible choices, being blatantly unfair, caring more about their own self ego than the betterment of humanity.

Why do we say we are ‘human after all’ – as if we are NOT Divine, not capable of more, better. As if we somehow, because we are human, we are outside of the perimeters of God? Well, we are not. We are not living in a duality – and that is exactly why intolerable and bad behavior bothers us so much. And, because we have forgotten, or we fail to remember love, we feel and live as separation from our Divinity.

And for all the ones who are hurting, and expressing what they feel in ways that can be found intolerable – there are others who are expressing lovingly, kindly and with tolerance. There are strangers helping strangers, people working food banks, people educating, teaching, healing and guiding others to remember their innate Divinity. The helpers exist. WE can choose to be a helper.

We have to keep talking. We have to teach and expose our children to the importance of sharing without fear, listening without judgement, respecting different. We have to come to a realization that there IS Yin and Yang in this reality. We are not a utopia. We live in a world of contrast in order to choose higher. BUT, if we do not learn this; that we have choice, we will react from fear for we will feel there is no basis to stand upon.

A young mother I personally know, love & adore asked the other day on FB, how to talk with her preteen daughters about racism. This question stirred me, it moved me, it bothered me. It bothered me deeply, that that subject was a conversation one HAD to have with young people. She expressed that she felt it was required, that one should not avoid the subject. I have given this much thought. The truth is, young blacks in this country of America have had to live in that conversation their entire lives. All because of someone else’s fear, they had to be brought up in fear, in being caution, in being on high alert.

Racism comes from fear, which is the absence of love. It is based in ignorance of understanding the scope of the meaning of humanity. Racism is the absence of integrity and an expression of ego. Racism of ANY kind is NOT, NEVER, EVER acceptable – if it is making fun of a person, avoiding them when walking because of their skin color, gender or age, or feeling in authority over another human, or being abusive…the list goes on and on, doesn’t it? Racism is an empty vast dark hole; which everyone but the privileged white, of which I am one, have had to live with.

So, what do we say to our children, children of any color ? What do we say to our children of any gender, any size, any background, any ethnicity?

Can we talk with our children about this melting pot known as America? A place where many from other countries were once welcomed, and we pray, one day agian will be. Can we talk with them about feeling good about who THEY are being, no matter what any one else thinks? Can we tell them that humanity is made up of a glorious symphony of colors, shapes, sizes, languages, cultures and expression? Can we tell them that every single persons is different, like snowflakes – and that different does not mean wrong, bad, right, good, less than or better than. Can we tell them that there are people in this world who think that just because they have white skin, they are automatically better than others; this, my darling, is wrong. This is fear talking. Can we tell them that the world is made up of many ways to express, and we must care about how WE are doing, for that matters. We must learn to recognize loving, kindness and understanding. Can we tell them that this thing that makes people act out in fear upon others is an expression of who THEY are, not who you are. Even when someone makes fun of another person, when bullying happens, this is an expression of that persons sadness. Their heart hurts and no one has listened before to them. Can we tell them that we live in a world of not only diversity of people, but also of feelings, thinking, beliefs, thoughts – and it is very important for us as individuals; for you, to grow up discovering what you believe in and how you want to express in order to help the world, to help those who are suffering. And, as your parent, I am here to help you to this, and to example for you, what living from love looks like.

Can we tell them anything like that? Can we tell them no matter the color of ones skin or ethnicity; there will be nice people and not nice people. It is ones actions that speak of their integrity, not their skin color. Can we tell them to find security in their own choices, and to know that this is a huge, big ole’ world, and there is much good here, much joy here, much love here for you. Look for that.

Thank you for reading.

with great love, Deborah

http://www.amethystlight.org

A Pandemic Take-Away

This is letter I sent out to my email list this morning. It was suggested I share as my blog, so here it is!
Good Morning……….how are you feeling today? Life is just so dang interesting, isn’t it?
So, have you come away with any life changing decisions from the past few weeks? I have heard of many people who have. My dermatologists decided to retire. Just like that. They must have liked their time off! A friend decided to close her healing center, after 16 years. Relationships have shifted. This pandemic experience has changed us, changed the way we see the world, the way we see one another and the way we know ourselves to be.
For me, my change has taken place as a result of yet another deep internal dive into my own heart. Which yes, is the only way any substantial change takes motion. Every single physical and emotional ‘obstacle’ always brings me back to the same thing; “my trust in God, in that which is greater than I, in that which I am part of and IT is part of me. In the WHOLENESS and ONENESS of this existence. My deep Trust and awareness of the laws of this grand design…….and my ability to apply them.”
Oh, and there HAVE been obstacles these past few weeks. My humanness showed up big time! Yet now, after 30 years of my commitment to this path, a part of me gets happy when this resistance shows up, because I KNOW, no matter how hard it all seems at any moment, I AM guaranteed a way through. AND I KNOW YOU ARE TOO!
I am coming through this pandemic experience, which for me has been based in dramatic daily life changes; with an even stronger faith, with a deeper respect for others, with a greater awareness of how I bring it all on through my thoughts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
An experience of being able to see oneself so clearly that blaming another is impossible is so, so, yucky and so, so great!!!  I laugh at myself, honestly. If we listen deeply, sometimes we can hear our own voices in our head; “I am so miserable, why are they so *&^&^% happy????”
So funny.
So, the creme de la creme of my pandmeic takeaway is this: “I only want to talk about God.” Seems simple to you? It is and it isn’t.  My life was turned over and over to my faith many years ago, and yet, it keeps increasing. There is always more. My faith in what I know, what I have taught, what I have preached about, how I see life and attempt to live it; has only increased. This IS what I AM and how I do this life. There is nothing else for me.
In the beginning of this waking up deal, in discovering Louise Hay and positive thought, I can now see myself driving to work in my little white car, from Haverhill to Andover, down 495, talking out loud in my car stating; “I love my career, I love my job, etc. etc.” This was over 30 years ago. I was determined to be HAPPY! I was going to apply all the books I was studying and get it done! You know what, I did………..and it keeps increasing.
Well, there IS nothing else for me but chatting, sharing and focusing upon the Love, the Oneness, the Wholeness and Light that is here for each of us, and to support others to see it also. ..if you wish – or else I will simply be basking in it all by myself – but when you join me, it is all so much fun! For aligning with your very best self!
with great love,
Deborah

 

Mothers Day Heart Ache

Mothers Day is not filled with joy for everyone.  For some, it is a day that reminds them they wish they had done better, different. Through all the joyful commercialism, they are instantly reminded their unhealed wounds caused a cycle to continue, their addictions, dysfunction, ignorance, immaturity, pain — has hurt their own child. These mothers feel like they failed. This is a devastating emotion.

For others, they feel they did all they could; they loved well, they were always present, they were warm, loving, nurturing, they were honest, kind, mothering – yet, it appears it was not enough and their child is or was not happy. Some mothers have children who do not communicate with them, who choose to shut them out of their lives. For a mother, this is un-imaginable.

Some mothers have children in jail, some mothers have children who have made choices that are beyond their own understanding, their comprehension.

Some mothers have children who blame them for their own adult issues, some mothers have children who died at birth, who committed suicide, who had horrific accidents, experiences. Some women always wanted to be mother, and never were. The ache remains.

My heart goes to these mothers – and I say to you; you did the best you were able to with what you had; what you had emotionally, physically and spiritually.

I say to you, each soul has their own karma, their own stories; even the ones who come through our own bodies. We do not come into this life as blank slate, we come in with tangled histories, with past lives that call upon us to seek.

I believe we choose our parents, as souls, we choose our families, in order to live out our karma, our desires, our souls journeys. There can be great peace in this belief – and also can lie great empowerment – to know that no matter what has happened, this too is a path that was needed somehow for this soul to experience.

I also want to humbly share, I came from a childhood home that I could be living from/ blaming right now for any number of past lack experiences – but I consciously chose a different path; to CHOOSE differently, not by default of my upbringing.  I believe, I know; anyone can do this. Choosing differently is always possible. 

I send you all love this day. My heart is wide open for you. May prayers of unconditional love, forgiveness and showing up the best we are able be ours today. May our children know we love them, and may we know how much we love them; unconditionally. Be in peace.

with great love, empathy, compassion & understanding,

Deborah

http://www.amethystlight.org

The Untangling of Ourselves

Nice title, yes? Catchy, huh? This is where I went this morning, into this concept of ‘untangling’. I love it. I made some notes I will be sharing with you in bit. But first, to give credit for this lightbulb moment:

In the midst of this non work time,  two weeks ago I grabbed the one book off the shelf that represents a major turning point in my life; An UnknownWoman, by Alice Koller, 1981. I can still remember the day, as a young  mother, unhappy in my marriage and lost of ones own agenda, I walked into Jabberwocky books in Newburyport, MA., then on State Street. It feels like it was earlier than that, that 1981 year. I was sure, in my memory, that Jabberwocky had just opened in its first location, but history says that was 1972. And, that I bought it shortly after I was married in 1973…..but, the copyright is 1981, so, my memory is incorrect. I myself had been a book store manger in the late 70’s, so I would have known it then! Even though, I remember my awe at this shop, owned by a woman, with the coolest shelves being held by chains. All displayed clearly, confidently. Women books. Hundreds of titles. My heart skipped beats. The title grabbed me. I left my marriage two years later.

Understand, I was born in the 50’s, I grew up in the 60’s. Women were beginning to find their voices, to fight for rights. When I married in 1973 I was not allowed to have my own credit card. They had to say “Mrs” so and so on them. I was looking at the Angela Davis, Betty Friedan, Gloria Steinem’s of this new language of feminism. I was raised by a well behaved hostess, and none of these topics or women would be welcomed at my parents dinner table.

I am re-reading it. This book that set my soul on fire to know more. It feels heavy this time. I remember it in lightness, a relief.  I chose to research present day information on the author before I began this trek through her book, that in my memory helped me to find my own self, it started a conscious path to be craved out of myself.  Her life has been a continued path of sadness, loneliness and philosophcal desperation. Her book helped me to further my own path, but I do not know that it helped her. Rather than ‘I cannot put the book down’, this time, it is a very slow read. This time, the sadness and despondency of her words is palpable, and there are too many similarities in who I use to be, for comfort. I know enough now, that discomfort is a gift, and to keep looking into it to reveal the gold.

She mentions the word untangle. And a spark is ignited. I hear in my mind; ‘The Untangling of Ourselves.” Great, awesome, I want to author it – book title. That is the journey, wether we are male or female; to untangle ourselves from everybody else’s opinions, WHICH WE HAVE ADOPTED AS OUR OWN! Think about that line again. Speak it out loud. Take your time.

Notes:

  • to emotionally de-tatch ourselves – to untangle the thread, that invisible line from where the seed of, the origin of that negative thought, that fearful idea, that not helpful at all statement either thought of or spoken comes from. Where oh where are you from, this idea – when was the first time I said it, heard it? Or felt the energy of it?
  • Most vital, who does it belong to? If it feels good, okay. If it does not, why am I thinking it? Whose is it???? Is it mine? Do I want it?
  • to untangle the thread of our beliefs in order to see ourselves without another’s opinion, should’s or have to’s.
  • untangle ourselves from our parents behavior, their wounds, their stories. Their poor decisions, their less than’s.
  • who am i without that story? what is left when i take that story away? when that tangled thread, that is now unconsciously woven through my life, is let go of, given back to its originator, what is left?
  • what happens when I let go of old garments that i insist on wearing, carrying around?
  • what is left when i let go of expectations I had at seven, or  my parents expectations I carried into my twenties?
  • what is left of me, when I realize it was never my thought in the first place?

Here is an example: Today I have stayed in bed, (so far) surrounded by coffee cups, manuscripts in process, thumb drives, notebooks. The thought dropped in, ‘I am being lazy.’ Simple thought, but my minds voice said it critically. I stayed with it. Why am I calling myself anything with destructive unloving efforts? Here are some choices:

  • A).   Brought up in a family that everything was in motion all the time.
  • B).   Raised with needing to prove myself by creating only on the linear plane.
  • C).  Told by parents actors and writers do not make enough money, marry wealthy  instead.
  • D.) Was taught daydreaming was behavior of a lazy child.
  • E.) Parents were lazy and inactive and you never want to be like them in any way.

Two of these are my answers. Nope, not going to tell you.

Wherever your tangled thread lands at the other end, free yourself of any body else’s assumptions. Whatever you believe, make sure it is your own conscious loving choice.

Great read for women. An UnknownWoman by Alice Koller.

with great love and gratitude,

Deborah

 

 

 

 

 

 

Quarantine or Sabbath; Choose.

Friends; Yesterday I found an old thumb drive. Just now, I plugged it in, and found files from 2012 and 2013.    Old services, writings, messages, etc. A minsters barn filled with goodies! This is the first file I clicked. Think I was being led? Oh yea. We are now half way in the Lenten season, half way to Easter, which has not once has been mentioned on my FB feed recently. Perhaps,  if instead of thinking of yourself as quarantined, we thought of it as a Sabbath? shared with great love, Deborah

http://www.amethystlight.org

Honoring the Sabbath

“The true church is the heaven within one, where one meets the Father face to face, where one goes to Him at will, in closest fellowship.”

During this season of Lent, Charles Fillmore, the co-founder of Unity, shows us the importance of the Sabbath; not as a specific day of the week, or time, but as a state of consciousness that man enters or acquires when he goes into the silence. It is here that man finds true rest and peace. We can get lost in the darkness of our Adam mind and we also can then be raised unto the Christ Consciousness through the observing of ones private Sabbath. How often do you rest from outer thoughts and the busi-ness of your life? How often do you enter into your upper room, to be aware of Gods presence and commune with Him? How would your life be different, if you observed a Sabbath every day?

Honoring the Sabbath is one of the examples which Jesus taught us so very well. He showed us that going off by oneself, to be in communion with our inner spirit, is the way of creating peace, answers, guidance and inner sustenance; despite whatever else is happening in the linear world. Despite how this looked to his followers, he did it. Jesus always put God first.

I know many of us have spiritual practices where we set aside time each day to be in the silence. And some even prepare to be in the silence with spirit, and some even enter the silence with an intention to receive from Holy Spirit; and to those, this is the breath of life itself. Many cannot begin a day without being in the silence of communion with the Christ, the Divine, the communion of inner peace which is calling from deep within our hearts to be in harmony with this invisible, yet palpable Presence we call God. This is God calling God; God working upon God. It is the foundation from which an entire day births from; that place of inner peace where we are fed through our souls in order to be in harmony throughout the day.

This inner sanctuary is the upper room of our minds where one can FEEL their personal relationship with God come to life. It is the breath of life itself which feeds every atom and cell of their being, its awareness of God which is the sustenance that is literally needed in order to feel sustained. It is more necessary than our voice, our hands, our feet, our body, our anything – it is the moment of awareness where all else recedes into the void and ones personal relationship with the Divine is made manifest. It is the feeding from the infinite fount of life, from the river of life force which pours through ones being in order to create breathe within them – in order to move through the day in a sacred balance.

Honoring the Sabbath, making moments to be aware of your personal relationship with the Divine, can be done throughout your day – not just in the ritual of prayer and meditation. When one honors the Sabbath as daily ritual and practice, one is always listening for God. Where is God right now? How can I see God in this moment? Do I see the wisdom of this moment? Am I in peace right now? Do I see appreciation, gratitude, and thankfulness in this interaction? Am I aware of understanding, of any attributes which are of love – am I seeing or being, or giving, or offering compassion right now? Am I calling upon my faith in this moment in my day to carry me? Am I being kind to this person I am in communication with right now? Am I seeing love or fear? As this person is speaking with me, to me, at me……..do I see Gods presence in this moment? What can I feel right now which will allow the Divine to express as me?

Sometimes, especially in the beginning of a conscious practice to honor the Sabbath – one has to use the gift of discernment to say NO to what is being is seen through their human eyes and say YES to what they feel through their spirit eyes. Saying YES to our Sabbath is saying YES to a personal, ever evolving, eternally awakening, and forever sustaining relationship which will continually inspire you to want more. The honoring of the Sabbath can begin with a Sunday ritual and expand and call you to think about God in the every moment of the day; to put God first in all that you do. Yet, for right now – begin with a set and devoted ritual to honor your Sabbath each day for a few minutes to more; and watch your heart, mind and spirit expand and sustain you, as God speaks and you feel the enriching blessings of Sabbath as a way of being.

My 2-cents.

My ministerial training & education is in New Thought. I share this to place some linear sense around my faith, what I teach, our foundation of beliefs here at the Amethyst Light Ministry, as well as where I write from. New Thought covers a wide range of teachers, mostly birthed in the 1800’s. Yet, the teachings are ancient, esoteric and speak basically of Universal Law. My roots are Unity, founded by Charles & Myrtle Fillmore, as well as Science of Mind, founded through Dr. Ernest Holmes. At the very, very basic root; through the One Power & Presence, we believe we create our experiences through our thinking, beliefs and what we choose to engage with. I am in loving association with the teachings of the Ascended Masters and the Great White Brotherhood.

Personally, I do not like boxes of any kind, that place barriers of explanation of one’s faith in a rigid framework of any kind. In thirty years of offering my ministry, I have learned that no matter the wording, Truth comes in many perspectives. There may be varied explanations, different language, stories and definitions of the words used, but in the end, we all want the same thing – but we may get there taking different routes.  

My faith is based in Universal law, which for me and many others, is exactly what Jesus exemplified. One of my most memorable Sunday sermons from my church ministry years, was about Jesus and the Devil; Mathew 4:1:-11.  Boy, I loved that particular Sunday. As I spoke the three times the devil attempted to get Jesus to come over or rather down to his side……I felt the passion in side of me, and from the post conversations and exuberance of the congregation that day, they did too! This teaching of temptation is a HUGE, every day parable. Every single day of our lives, as humans attempting to live a life of loving, kindness and faith, we are tempted to believe what we see rather than what we know is Truth. Whether it be going off our diets, listening to the news,  believing in illness over health – whatever it is, we are always choosing between fear or love.

In times like right now,  this is what we want to remember. We get to choose what we believe in.  We get to choose what will have more power in our lives, we get to choose what we engage with and what we do not.  

In the very small New England town I am part of, people are making choices based on their beliefs. Schools are closed, senior center closed, library restricted hours with strict guidelines, even no loitering and reassuring 3 – 6 feet between people. Even a church I know just canceled their services till further notice as well as a healing & meditation center.  It can be an overwhelming experience to be in charge of many and have to make choices that affect the whole.  My husband, who works for a large electric company, now gets to work from home, which for him, is a delight of no driving. 

For me personally, which is really all we have is our personal take on anything, I am trusting God. I am knowing that my faith in Law consistently reminds me that whatever or wherever I place my attention, I am dancing with that energy, and it grows. I choose wholeheartedly love, to know that nothing is greater than this, to know that I am well, healthy and made in Divine Perfection. I trust that the power of the One Presence is greater than any fear.

I also love applying my favorite terms that many of my healing clients have heard. “Or not”  and “If you think so.” If someone says something or you find yourself in an un-welcomed conversation, say to your self, “If you think so.” If someone says to you, I heard this will happen. – Say, “Or not.” 

Do not let the news or anyone else ever tell you what to believe – choose what you want to believe in.

My friends, we are creating our lives through our thinking and attention to. If you are a New Thought teacher, leader or even student of any kind; we do not get to choose when we apply this law, it is always in use, no matter what the news media states. You do not get to say I cured myself of that, but the news says this. We do not get to say, positive thinking works for parking spaces but not for this, this is too big. Nothing is too big for God. Law if Law.  We attract what we believe in, what we pay attention to.

“It is done to us according to our faith.”   BAZINGA! #@$^%$(*&^% 

I love you. Choose consciously. My mother use to say all the time; ‘cleanliness is next to Godliness’. She must be really enjoying this hand washing scenario. 

with great love,

Deborah

http://www.amethystlight.org

 

 

Personal vs Wholeness

I often consider this quest; is there a fast-track, an instant something that I am missing, to offer another being in order for them to attain “instant’ understanding and leave the personal stories behind?  Dear God, there are times when I plead; please, please, let me know what it is.

As a spiritual teacher and guide, (really, is that the label I choose? some days I want a new one), a fine line lives between ’empowering of another and wanting to do it for them’ which raises its convoluted head now and then. This line is painful, uncomfortable and stagnating. It is paralyzing, for it does no one any good. I HAVE to keep the empowering tool in front, I HAVE to maintain sight of YOUR I AM PRESENCE, of YOUR CHRISTED True Identity – or why come to me? And yet, some times my humaneness speaks to me, my lowest self, my ego self – another words, sometimes i believe your story more than my knowing of God.  YIKES!!! NOOOOOoooo!!!! When I do this, I fail you, and my self, and God.

Here is a secret to feeling better, leaving your personal identity behind clears the path to wholeness, healing & joy. All the personal identity does is 1.) blame others, 2.) demand forgiveness, 3.) ask that some one change so you can feel better, 4.) look outside self for answers.

Are you doing any of these? If so, you are coming from personal identity. Personal identity is dark place. It keeps you separate, makes you feel different, causes you to not share, keeps you – apart. Apart from others and apart from your True Identity; Spirit in form.

How to change? Go deep into YOUR OWN personal beliefs. Why are you not taking responsibility for your own actions? Why are you giving another person authority over your life? Over how you feel? Why do you not know, believe, live; that there IS a Higher Power that HEALS our minds and bodies?

Are you WILLING to let go of what you THINK you are, to see what you actually are?

Are you willing to change? Are you willing to consider changing? Are you willing to trust? Are you willing to forgive everyone everything? Are you willing to allow incredible beautiful shifts in your life?

Are you willing to read suggested books? (on my website)

Are you willing to delete all negative input on your social media and ONLY allow positive issues, words and affirmations on your pages?

Are you willing to stop going against anything and begin to go for FOR something?  Are you willing to meditate each day? Are you willing to stop trying to change everyone else and simply change yourself?

Life is meant to be beautiful; with ease, love, abundance. (I know, crazy, huh?) Yet, this is only experienced when we let go of the personal and become part of the whole. Is that understandable? When you think you are the only one, or you have to do anything alone, or you feel sorry for yourself, or think no one can understand, no one has ever felt this way, or you do not share freely, authentically, or with judgement – life is a challenging. As long as we see ourselves as separate, we stand outside the energy of wholeness. And I promise you, this does not feel good. Every person has at least one issue! (I state that sarcastically.)  We are here, on planet earth, in these bodies for a dang good reason. Get over yourself, you are part of the soup! This bright, big, mushy, incredible soup of life. Join it. Recognizing the God of each of us, the standing in unity rather than fracture, through the recognition of our own Higher Self expressed through a physical body invites a sense of wholeness that simply feels good.

You are amazing. I do not have to know you, meet you or see you to know this. I believe we are each a speck of Divine Magnificence – each of us able to be kind, tolerant, amazing. I believe we are to hug madly and laugh as much as possible. I believe we are to dance, to consciously choose and to breathe deeply. I see the God in you. I see your potential. I have faith in you to be your very best self. I believe life is to be enjoyed, not endured. I believe being here is a huge gift, and whining is a waste. I believe in good, in angels, in love, magic and most of all; in a Higher Power. I believe in the non-physical. I believe in prayer, in having faith and I expect guidance each day. I believe in the simplicity of being POSITIVE! I believe in the words ‘ I CAN’.  My issue? I want you to know this too. And in truth, not everyone does – at least not in the same lifetime. But, you will. One of these lifetimes, you will experience wholeness. My issue? I want it to be now. And in that, sometimes, I want it for you more than you want it for yourself. (Me, coming from the personal and IT does NOT feel good.) 

with great love,

Deborah

http://www.amethystlight.org