BASICS.

The more years and days i am here, the wider my heart opens, plus the daily increases in my awareness of being; i know more and more, one MAJOR thing; go back to basics. Spiritual basics.  Always go back to love. Find your path to kindness. Think a thought which makes you FEEL internally, better. KEEP IT SIMPLE.

I discovered the Abraham-Hicks offerings, oh so many, many years ago, i cannot remember. There was a time when i did not miss a workshop in my area, i also held a weekly group, and knew them to be what i wanted to aspire with &  to. Each workshop, every time i volunteered for them, each time i heard another cd or a repeated one and then heard something differently; i felt a deep knowing of WOW! YES! This is IT!

There were many paths prior to them, plus deep and incredibly heart opening paths to the Divine stillness of the Presence; since then. Yet now, after quite a few years of no contact, i find myself back to marinating in there cds, videos and you tubes; once again…..experiencing a renewed sense of knowing, of depth. The excitement i feel when i listen fills me up, as well as i am palpably aware that where i have been has led me to now, and i am different than i was then….so of course, there is new.  Follow?  

I am a deeply and i feel profound woman of faith in God, Source, the Divine. I believe more in the non physical than what we call the physical, which to me is not the physical. I have a Guru, I love Jesus, and i consider myself a life long lover of A Course in Miracles. I also have had dear teachers in my life who believe in following only ONE path, for they see that as the way to go deeply into oneself without, i guess, ‘contamination’. Obviously, i disagree. I love pulling at, prying open with, asking questions of, seeking varied ways to experience – GOD/SOURCE/THE GREAT MYSTERY.

I know what calls me. I have not gone the way of  many commercially successful teachers; Tolle, Beckwith, Myss…….did not ring my bells. (Rickie, yes.) I enjoy books and teachings of Toltec, but not my path. I have been welcomed at many churches, but never desired permanently, for i did not fit in the box; (my words). I do not believe drugs is a path. I studied Buddhism, took my initial vows, was given a most beautiful name from my Lama who I adore – but, alas, i am not a Buddhist.

I also know, keeping it simple is mandatory. Our heads, our minds, our thinking vessel will latch on to anything that will give it a sense of power. You will not have a God experience in ego.

I have found coming back to Abraham is having a profound effect on me. Because of all i have done, all the paths and ideas i have experienced – i am able to go deeper, with the most basic offering; think a better thought. No one else thinks my thoughts but me – i have total choice over them – and my feeling body is without a doubt happier when i am living the being-ness of a deliberate creator. This is as basic as it gets. Love yourself. Be kind to your own heart – sit and be with thoughts which make you feel joy, not sorrow/ empowered, not a victim.

I AM a deliberate CREATOR. I hope you join me. with my very, very best; Deborah

Rev. Deborah Evans Hogan is an inner faith minister, guide, counselor. She is here to see YOU as the I AM Presence and to support you to have a personal experience of your God.Self.   www.amethystlight.org

the ultimate balancing act

Human-hood. Consciousness.  ~ Being a person. Created of God.  ~ Human. Pure Divinity.

Somehow, we must reach an unattached balance.

As in all things, we and it and all has been created with the ability to be polar opposites – different ends of the same spectrum. We can feel TOO much joy – delirious, or too deeply sad that we loose ourselves….in the dark paper bag with no light. When we are trying to find our voice after being squashed down for years, we may scream at first, exude vocally without restraint….be over bearing…..until we reach balance and speak gently, yet with strength & a silent confidence. I share with my beloveds the holy see saw. We begin on or near one extreme end……to find health we visit the other end….then after some internal excavation; we reach center point, still point, balance. Not too hot, not too cold; just right. Not too loud, not too soft; perfect. Not a victim, not a bully; kind.

I have come to see, we go to extremes first, prior to landing at ‘steady’.  It appears to be nature, law, the way it is. As well as when on a chosen spiritual path. We have seen it with extreme evangelists, or power hungry clergy, or ruler carrying nuns. A Buddhist Lama once said to me – do not do the 7 year cave thing, i have done it twice, do not do it; no need. Find it where you are. It is here.

I have been contemplating what happens to our minds when we come to the realization we are pure consciousness in form, we are God in human form – what happens to our human-hood? Where do we see our person? Yes, we are Consciousness in form – yes, there is only One, All – there is no you or me; BUT, how do we place our person in all this? How do we love & adore our paths? How do we honor and enjoy the fact that we have these amazing instruments called bodies, we each have had incredible journeys which are how we unraveled to ourselves in the first place….and some, i have seen, just want to toss that all away.  once they reach a space of self realization. No, no, no.

These amazingly painful journeys many have experienced, these multi faceted personalities which contain our stories and perceptions, these lives we have lived and are living are amazing!!!!! – AND we / God gets to have these experiences through and as us. In honoring ALL of it, in an unattached love, in an unattached perception of what may be painful stories; we give thanks, for they have made us what we are today. We do not stay in the meditative state at every breath – but we can be aware of God at every breath. We do not have to be fully merged in our awareness of the Light of the Christ in a vocal, palpable way each moment – yet we can be internally aware of It – and that awareness will shine forth.

Balance in all things, including our awareness of God and our awareness of person. Think of it, the balance – the living, breathing, walking around of Pure Consciousness containing eternal knowledge and unconditional love…which we can, through practice, tap into at any moment – AND the body, our personal history ( in this lifetime and others) – and they are truly opposites; yet, One.

I am not saying all there is to said on this conversation, because i cannot find the words, much of it is wordless….and i have just scratched the surface – yet i invite you to contemplate it. I feel its a biggie.

with much love & my very best i can offer, Deborah

 

balance, balance, balance…..

the inactive action

growth is an underlying constant. it is at all times in motion; either emotionally, physically or spiritually and usually, all at once. our bodies are always changing – letting go of old cells, increasing or decreasing in height, weight, muscle mass, fat, hair, aging, maturing, organs shifting, blood moving, breath breathing & pulsing us. for most of us, our emotions are consistently shifting from happy to sad, from fear to feeling safe, from highs to lows, from anger to loving, from this to that. spiritually, we are consistently evolving through our physical and emotional experiences; either consciously or not. another words, we are at all times allowing and welcoming love to change us or we are putting up road blocks to accepting love. in any case –  change happens.

as we increase our spiritual muscle, we begin to observe our own external offerings; how we speak to others, how it sounds, what we actually said (sometimes an incredible shocker) – basically, how we present. this increases to being not a consciously intentionally observed practice, into an unexpected experience, as if God says; here, watch this  movie ….see, can you hear the words you spoke……when honored, can be humanly humiliating, in a most raw and honest sense.  one is hearing the words they spoke to another person, hearing them as they were actually stated, feeling them as they were received. this is said to be part of the life review when we pass from our physical instruments, yet it is possible, given ones spiritual awareness, to experience it in body as well.

being present to ones own expression just may be the most humbling teaching i have ever experienced; yet. self love, patience and most of all, kindness is demanded to get through it. and silence. silence of the mouth, the inactive action, as one sits with the comments which caused them to see their own wounds, evidently STILL pressing internal buttons, and causing one to speak thoughts which carry wounded overtones. at this stage, may have been hardly noticed to anyone else outside your very own internal Isness.

at this time of awareness, one not only is watching themselves, but hearing and feeling the words, the choice to speak them and the core reason why they spoke them. they may appear perfectly loving, they may, on the surface, seem even appropriate; but our reason for speaking them is the awakening piece; did it come from (my) unconditional love for the Divine or from my humanhood? – we learn to be with this humbling contemplation, broken open in places we never knew existed, forcing ourselves to surrender all of it. in silence. the unspoken action. do not dilute. be with it. do not discuss. bring to pure consciousness and allow all that can happen to dissolve the human construct of judgement, criticism and ill at ease; dissolve into Love.

the epitome of self care. (for now)

The Interrupter

the mind. a true blessing & a curse. like every-thing, there are opposite polarities – we love it when we have a happy thought, we do the happy dance, we tell all our friends, we smile and laugh……and then, we can literally be paralyzed with fear; based on yet, another passing thought…. through which comes a heaviness, a mud like overlay of energy surrounding our body, our hearts, our spirits……….and many, give up; all from, one single thought.

‘no, Deborah, not ONE thought…from all of THIS!’ – yes, all of THAT, which comes from one single thought. the gerbil wheel begins somewhere. we each know it well, especially those who have been willing to observe, to go within, to watch ones mind.

the other day i watched my gerbil wheel. this new wave of energy (since July full moon)  feels like a mud bath….pouring down and around…..it feels as if where we are, where we are is being ‘instilled’, given a greater depth, our root chakra, the non loving thoughts in our foundation, are now being pushed up and out. we are truly being turned inside out!

i had this thought, this thought simply came through my mind……that i had not been recently called by a loved one. but it did not stop there. all of a sudden; they were ill, they were shutting me out of their life, they were never going to call me again, they were going to write me a good bye letter, they were being pushed to do this by their spouse, they were cutting all cords with me. i felt miserable! all of this took about 15 seconds.

i knew it was a lie. i knew they were just busy. i know that. BUT, my  mind, did not want me to feel that. it wanted to be the boss. i forced myself to go into my heart. i talked to THAT thought, those thoughts, i told them they were lying to me. i assured them what was the truth. i told myself, how busy the person was, how young they are, how  was i at that age. i assured myself the truth. this self talk took about an hour, plus a ‘whoa is me he will never call home again’ talk with my husband who without missing a beat simply simply said; you know, he is busy.

our minds love to latch on to any thought which takes us away from the truth of our heart, from love & kindness. the mind is the great interrupter; of peace.  this does not happen to me anymore; i was shocked! yet, i knew this was an old, old, idea. it surprised me, how i hooked onto it for a ride down the rabbit hole! but, i chose to not ignore it, to disperse it for good!

in order to seek peacefulness in any situation, this  takes a devotion to self realization, a willingness to look, to observe ones own mind and to hear what is the one thought, the one lie which is causing us to spin out of control…..and talk to it. deeply inside the silence of our own being-ness, not to any one else, but to our own mind, which is not our friend. stay centered on the heart, on love, on self love, on truth. value the non physical. value awareness. value consciousness. value the source of all. value the great Isness.

yes, it may feel like a full time job, in the beginning – BUT, the thoughts and time it takes to come directly from the heart will lessen and lessen; the more devotion and intention you choose to give your own journey to love. if you choose; a guide, counselor or guru can support this experience with you.

now, due to this most recent wave of energy; all that has been unseen, all we have not yet unpacked, is being pushed up from our root to be seen and shined light upon. old ideas may come up in dreams, may be reflected to us by others, may ‘randomly’ ( another lie, there is no random) appear.

this is all wonderful! get it ALL out! shine Light on ALL of it!!!

my very, very best to you!

with love, deborah

www.amethystlight.org

 

 

PERSONAL FREEDOM

Personal freedom, is actually freedom from our person-hood. In seeking a higher perspective, all energetic cords of any human attachment are made free, and so are our thoughts.

Imagine feeling free of anyone else’s story! This is what understanding unconditional love can do for you. What would that look  like? To be free of another persons emotionally based fears……..to be so empowered to realize that YOU are always choosing to believe, or not to own….those words. Imagine growing up in a home where the story is; ‘if you do this, i will have to do this’. Too many do. Then, this becomes your story – this becomes your jumping off point, as i say – all which you relate to in your life will come from this spot; i am responsible for your feelings. i am sorry i drove you to that. i apologize for making you feel so sad. i did not mean to hurt you. well, they had to do that because of what i did and it’s all my fault. Sound familiar?

True freedom is growing up realizing you have been given choice, and no one else’s story is yours; only if you take it on! As well as, when you own another persons story, you deny them  ownership, and an opportunity to heal. True freedom is living by choice, empowered to choose, understanding the Laws of the Universe, feeling safe enough to choose differently. To see your family tribe as well as other individuals  as humans who also made their own choices and you choose to not be victim to their thinking.

I send you love. May self realization, freedom of the gerbil wheel, be yours. Deborah

www.amethystlight.org

 

 

Are you a Christian?

Since being ordained in 1997, I have been approached with this question often. I remain unsure of the answer. It depends on your personal dogma which then leads you to even ask.

Because I am a non traditional member of the clergy, many want to know; am I a Christian? Do I believe in the Christ? Absolutely. But, our definitions may vary. Do I know Jesus Christ to be my savoir? Well, that’s a tricky one. Do I believe in the crucifixion? Yes, but again, a grey area in terms of defining the meaning. I know what and why they are asking, but i am not in alignment with the premise.

Many times these questions come to me from other clergy, priests, members of traditional churches (who have just heard me speak) with labels which are easy to understand. They want or need to immediately know a category and hopefully be able to place me in  a somewhat defined box; Catholic, Episcopalian, Unitarian, Congregational, Lutheran, etc. Unfortunately for them, i become tongue tied with such requirements for compartmentalization. How in the world does the idea of an all powerful Presence fit in any box?

I  know Jesus from Nazareth to be a man who exemplified faith in God, the Great Mystery, as well as in  pure unconditional love. I believe he was born as an enlightened soul.

I believe the Christ to be another name for the Pure Consciousness from which we each are created.

I believe his story to be the saving Grace. Realizing unconditional love as our Truth, we are saved from the ego.

I believe he was crucified, as were many others who were considered robbers, unwanted, instilled fear, spoke against the human powers that reigned. I believe the love he personified was too  bright for the ego which was present in that era.

This is THE story. Each of us walk the journey from ego to love. Our civilization walks this journey as well as individual souls. An enlightened, awake soul is one who comes from unconditional love, whose ego has dispersed, one has surrendered to The Christ, to love, to faith in the pure consciousnesses from which we came.

We are walking this journey together. We are walking one another to the heart – to the act of surrender – to the no fear zone – to the no cling zone – to the space of non attachment;  to freedom.

You are blessed. You are consciousness in form. You are love beyond explanation.

As love & Gratitude,

Deborah

www.amethystlight.org

 

 

the very best reminder

You have probably heard the one, “do not tell God about your big problem, tell your big problem about God.”

You may continually ‘re-act’ to/of what you feel is a problem, thereby giving it more and more juice, growing larger and larger by the moment. Your complaining, talking about an issue, trying to figure anything out, gossiping, proclaiming it on social media or even in the quiet of your best friends ear  —  is nothing more than spiritual trash talk and self sabotage. You may want to give that activity some deserved reconsideration.

Being in relationship with the I AM Presence, rather than a ‘problem’ will dissolute the issue, as any lack cannot thrive in the purity of unconditional love.

The all possible Presence designed our environment as humans to have the ability to choose through our thinking to see with  varied perceptions; and the gift to choose which lens we see an experience through.

The next time you feel angst towards a situation, remind YOURSELF of the Great I AM, sit and connect, relate to THAT.

 

as love, Deborah

www.amethystlight.org

 

 

“My System Reset”

“My System Reset”

In speaking with a dear friend this morning, she used this term; “my system reset” – and i immediately thanked her for the title of my latest blog post! Love it!

There are many stories of people being healed through simply being in the presence of a Sat Guru, teacher,  Avatar; or one who is in the state of pure love. It is true, we feel better and can easily acknowledge interior shifts; when we are in the presence of one whose love, we experience………..a parent comforting a child.

Purity. Gods Love is pure. The love of the Great Isness is what does purify us of our ego – anything not of Its purity. In this experience we are recreated whole, as our true Self.

This can happen in an instant, less than a breath. My friend was in the essence of such teachers and felt her system reset. Something changed. I have been witness to the resetting of beloveds systems – an undeniable system reset, rewired,  reboot.

I call it spiritual chemistry, or as the Fillmore’s from Unity named it, spiritual quickening.

What is this thing called pure love? It is easier to say what it is not, for we have no words for what is is. It holds, or is, ONLY the vibration of pure love – no ego, none. It does not hold selfishness, anger, resentment, blame. It is literally ONLY love; unconditional. Being in its presence does renew you, born you again if you will. Some call it The Christ.

The goal is liberation, freedom, wholeness. The goal is for people in human form to KNOW the Light and come from THAT jumping off point in relating in this existence. Imagine living a life fully from heart consciousness – embracing only tolerance and kindness; radiating ONLY love.

THIS is why we sit. This is why we meditate, contemplate, go to teachers, seek spiritual guidance; to reset – as i say, to jump off the gerbil wheel and deeply center into the well of our Divine Existence.

Ones spiritual DNA gets ah-ha’d!  The stories you have told yourself can no longer exist. In this knowing, one lives from the inside out. We are cleansed of that which keeps us clinging. Our systems are reset.

Thank you God! Hallelujah!

Are you ready to loose your name?

ARE YOU READY TO LOOSE YOUR NAME?

Listening to my teacher the other day, he stated;  “the river looses it’s name when it flows into the ocean.”

So very exquisite, i tear up each time i hear it in my mind. My eyes are wet.

When we come to (our) self realization of non duality, accepting wholeness as the way this is, our life expands into a greater knowing which is not contained. As we die daily, our hearts open to the infinite awareness of consciousness. Such beauty has no words, nor linear description.

The word surrender may be one of the most open, delicious, beautiful terms we have in our vocabulary –  and yet, the personality/ego defies it. It actually fights against, and this is what keeps it alive. To loose itself is the ego’s nemesis. To cling is its action. To deny is its language.

Our essence, the truth of what we are, is the great in – how great thou art. You were made in its image and likeness!  As we evolve in our awareness of the yet unimaginable truth of pure beingness, parts of us die daily, drop away, disperse, shed, merge to the ocean. The journey of unconditional love is not only the unraveling of what we thought we were, or the peeling away of the onion, but the total surrender, giving up of, detaching from; of any described thought.

SURRENDER: From; take credit for everything and give nothing, to, take credit for nothing and give everything.

Blessed contemplation. As love, Deborah

 

a freedom love letter

Dear Everyone & Anyone;

Is it not time to let that one go? Probably overdue, actually. You have been letting my actions prevent you from joy, or at the very least, peace; for long enough. I love you, please forgive- for you, not for me.

Whatever i did, it was about me, not you. I understand this is very hard to believe, when you were so present, took the brutality, pain or hurt of my actions, words or expressions when no one else was around, but you have to hear this; it was not about you. Even if i simply left, disappeared – i had left myself long before that. I had never been taught to show up for myself – i could not show up with another.

The way i treated others was all about me. I have learned that as we lash(ed) out in any way, shape or form is how we were treated, how we treat and feel about OURSELVES. The truth is, in the midst of one person or another, that feeling was going to come out of me – you just were there.

I have learned and seen, that i can only treat others as i treat myself and i learned that from how I was treated. Sure, the cycle can be broken, but we have to see it first.

I was not aware to break the cycle – but my hope is; you are.

We cannot continually blame our lives on other people. I know, that’s rough, seems impossible. But, i now see that you have within you all you need; if only, you can let my story you are holding onto; go.

Here is how. My story is not about you, it’s all about me and the stories i was hanging onto. Do not take anyone else’s actions, words or other personally; they have nothing to do with you. And know this, if they TELL you it is about you, they are not knowing the truth; yet. I let other peoples stories lay within my own heart and my belief in those stories grew inside me, reminding me each day of how unworthy of love i felt. Because i could not feel it, had not experienced love; i treated you unloving-ly; it was all i knew.

Believe it or not,now, i actually feel grateful for them, those experiences; for they caused me to wake up, they forced me to look in other directions, to hurt so much, i had no choice, but to choose another direction; and that journey made me more loving, empowered and kind.

Allow yourself the freedom to live your live freely through love, not through a wounded heart. My whatever had/has nothing to to do with you. Let your life express freely by letting me go and whatever you feel i did wrongly at you – it was never about you. Whatever i was, whatever we are; is about our own stories and beliefs we hold in our hearts.

My hope is this letter will support you to begin changing your story, by letting go of mine. 

Love to you,

Anyone & Everyone